posted on August 3, 2001 01:48:29 PM new
I'm remembering a story my folks told me. They had gone back to my dad's home town in NH, for the funeral of a woman who had been very active and well thought of in the town.
The last person to stand at the pulpit and offer his words of rememberance, hesitated at the end (as if looking for a proper closing) and almost to himself was heard to say, "Too bad she died,..... she made great donuts!"
Now there is an epitaph and something to write in the history books of the town.
posted on August 3, 2001 04:24:09 PM newBunn: Thanks! That was driving me crazy and I sure as heck didn't want to go back to Peru, Indiana to find out what it said.
Ashland: I think it's beautiful. Have you ever watched John Edward and Crossing Over?
krs: You're in rare form. The meds must be working?
posted on August 3, 2001 11:22:14 PM new
I was walking by the tv this evening when I saw a story that caught my attention. It was about a woman who had quintuplets. All 5 died. It was so rare at the time to have quints that she was terribly afraid that someone would steal their bodies. She had them carefully embalmed and kept them in a box under her bed for years. Years later, still afraid that they would be stolen, she wrote a letter to Woodrow Wilson about them. (I missed what she said but I think she was just looking for a safe place for them.) In 1960, at a very old age and anticipating her death, she sold them to a museum for $100.
T
posted on August 4, 2001 03:34:55 AM new
That is really sad jt. How sad that this poor lady never really got to have a proper resting place for her babies. It breaks my heart thinking about that.
I asked my 17 y.o.son what he would put on my headstone if I were to die and not have already picked anything out for myself. His answer......Crazy as a Loon.
Lets hope that the effects of my menopause have well and truly passed before I pass away or my headstone could very well read that charming script.
posted on August 4, 2001 09:36:49 AM newAshlandtrader: It is a t.v. show on the SciFi Network (don't let that throw you) featuring John Edward, a world renound psychic medium who communicates with those who have crossed over. There are a lot of people who don't believe in this type of thing, but after watching the show for a few months now, I think he's the real deal.
On the east coast it is on Sunday through Thursday at 8:00 and 8:30 p.m. They were talking about moving it to 11:00 p.m. on August 6, but I don't know if that is going to happen. Check your listings. And please watch it, at least once. It has changed a lot of peoples' lives. Check the following link: http://www.johnedward.net/main.htm
posted on August 4, 2001 10:14:28 AM new
sadie999 - Why is it called menopause rather than menocease?
'Cause some women are only 'pausing' they can still get pregnant. While those who are 'ceasing' can't?? hehehe
nettak - When I first started going through menopause I told my doctor my mood swings went from crying all the time to wanted to rip someones head off. Yep....I needed the estrogen So glad that time is over for me.
When seeing my dentist, they always ask what medications you're on. When I told him estrogen he (jokingly) ask if I was noticing my family was avoiding being around me. I asked why he'd say that. He shared that was what he did while his wife was 'going through the change'.
posted on August 4, 2001 11:07:40 AM new
This isn't really on a stone, but what I kinda inadvetantly said at my Dad's memorial service.
When Dad passed away, he was to be cremated, so we sent him on to the funeral home, assured that we would have the remains back by the service. Now, I must interject that my Dad was ALWAYS late! I mean, it didn't matter how important the event was. Drove Mom crazy. But, me being a Daddy's girl, I have somehow inherited the curse of not knowing what time it is!
So, here we are, family and friends, at the memorial service. Being the oldest, I got up to do a eulogy first. But, alas, we had no remains! The funeral home didn't get him back on time. Mom was so upset that things were screwed up, my grandmother was babbling about a lawsuit for mental anguish, etc... I got up, looked around and said, "Well, he did it. He was late to his own funeral..." The place broke up in laughter, everyone knowing (except my grandmother!) how pleased Dad had to be with the whole thing! It turned the whole thing into a celebration of life, reminding us that, yeah, he was still with us and messing up our schedules! (Everyone's but mine, cause I can relate!) Mom's had the last laugh, though. After some time, she began to wonder exactly how/where to keep the remains. She finally decided to keep them on the cedar chest, in the urn. When well meaning friends suggested that maybe he needed to be put to rest somewhere, she tells them, "I spent 35 years waiting on him to get it in gear. He can jolly well wait on me for a little while!" They will be spead together, probably illeagally, in an undisclosed location, hopefully a long time from now...
As for my last words...in keeping with my beloved hockey obsession...
posted on August 4, 2001 01:15:39 PM new
ConnieM - Thanks for sharing that wonderful story. Proving that making the best of a distressing situation can be done.
Your story reminded me of when we were helping our friends move. I was packing her linen closet for her and there was this heavy, cloth covered item. I asked her what it was and her answer was, "Oh, that's Helen." "Okay...who's Helen?" "John's mother." "Why is she in the linen closet?" "We haven't gotten around to spreading her ashes yet." Okay.......
posted on August 5, 2001 05:53:56 PM new
ashlandtrader... that sounds just right...... personal and gentle.
I always said to the kids as I was closing the door at night "seeper weeper". Can't remember how it started but it was firmly entrenched and you just don't monkey with tradition.
posted on August 8, 2001 12:39:33 AM new
A story about last words...
My grandmother died before Christmas 2000 at age 93. About a month ago I got some of her books. Mainly just historical novels, mysteries, and such. I started browsing through a few of them only to realize that she wrote in every book. I never write in books (unless intended) so at first I frowned at the idea. But then as I began to read...
She underlined and defined in the margin every word that was new to her. She underlined what she felt to be "key thoughts" or "interseting tidbits". She wrote questions about what she read as her thoughts.
There was this one book that I had given her as a gift years ago. I never knew if she had read it. As I browsed through it I saw her notes. Then when I flipped to the last page. She had written, "A wonderful book. Much to be learned from it. Read: date."
What beautiful last words to have grandma "reading along with me"! I don't feel alone when I read. I feel that she is there.
T
posted on August 10, 2001 04:26:01 AM new
jt, that's such a wonderful story! I do the same thing to my paperbacks that I buy that will always be just for me. I love the way Tom Robbins thinks, and I have some of his earlier stuff in both hb and pb - the paperbacks all have notes in the margins, post-its, etc.
I keep my gran'ma with me by having a little something of hers in almost every room in the house. A terrific set of celluloid asian figures (though nothing else in my house is asian), a jewelry box she gave me, etc. Some grandmothers are just terrific, and no matter how old you or they are when they leave us, you just miss them a whole lot.
Just realized this was off topic.
Grave stone: I'd rather be here than Cleveland. (random choice - could have been any city)
posted on August 10, 2001 02:52:07 PM new
Muriel,
I haven't had a chance to come back to this thread until today but I am so looking forward to that show. I keep seeing commercials for it and that it will be on my local Fox station starting in a few weeks. :0)
I will definitely watch a few times at least and see what I think.
posted on August 10, 2001 03:52:17 PM new
Sadie, My grandmother actually wrote several notebooks full in her last 10 years. I have heard that she wrote stories about a rocking chair and every where it had been and what it had done in her 93 years. She left it and the writings to my mom. The writing is being passed between her actual children so I haven't gotten my turn with it yet. I am looking forward to that!
Hummingbirds was her thing. Not only do I have several to remind me of her but for my birthday to two months after her passing, hubby bought me a rug for a room we restored as my studio. It has hummingbirds among apple trees. Here is my "new" (since March) studio:
http://www2.netdoor.com/~vannoys//terri9/studoi1.JPG Maybe you can see the rug.
posted on August 10, 2001 07:47:30 PM new
This has been a fun thread for me, but I also feel bad for ashlandtrader and pray that you will find peace in your heart, in time. I don't know if grief is different when you lose a child, but I can imagine it is somehow. God bless you ashlandtrader.
posted on August 10, 2001 08:57:42 PM new
Thanks Kraftdinner. It is hard, but I have so much to be grateful for. I remind myself that all the time. I think it is different. Before he died my only experience with death was my grandparents-- which was hard but you at least expect to lose them. You never think for a minute that you will out live your child. I think that is the hardest thing-- I know I really questioned how/why I was still here and he is not. It just defies logic.
posted on August 10, 2001 11:11:12 PM new
As many have stated above, I won't be having a stone either because I choose cremation, BUT, if I did have one, I have a choice between 2 epitaphs...
"Oh my God, I'm co....uhhnnn"
and "Never Surrender..OK, maybe just ONCE!"
Keith
I assume full responsibility for my actions, except
the ones that are someone else's fault.
posted on August 10, 2001 11:17:12 PM new
ashlandtrader, when my dad passed away last year, I think I was at the lowest point in my life. My dad had soooo much going for him, and I wondered why it wasn't me a million times+. Without your help and the help of these wonderful people at AW, I don't know what I would have done.
If you'd like to re-read the thread on how to deal with death, here's the link. I believe it saved my life.
