posted on October 15, 2001 12:07:55 PM new
"Let me put it more simply. If you see someone lovingly pet the dog they like...and kick the dog they dislike unmercifully...what does that tell you about the person?"
That if they're not posting here already, they should be?
posted on October 15, 2001 12:11:56 PM new
Exactly, Hepburn. Can you truly "like" someone you know you can't trust (no matter how nicely they might treat you) and if you can... what does it say about your own personality? Friendship without trust is a very superficial friendship indeed.
posted on October 15, 2001 12:15:32 PM newCan you truly "like" someone you know you can't trust (no matter how nicely they might treat you) and if you can... what does it say about your own personality?
Oh man...now we're really getting into the deep stuff. Youre gonna make me think now, arent you, irene?
Yes, I can "like" someone even if they treat me badly...but that doesnt mean I trust them. What does that tell me about my personality? Uh, that Im an idiot at times.
posted on October 15, 2001 12:19:17 PM new
Sure. But do we operate on that basis?
That's why we have to remind ourselves, if we claim that "niceness" is the reason we like some and dislike others, that the guy we're lunching with who treats the waitress nastily isn't a nice guy.
posted on October 15, 2001 12:20:47 PM new
You made me dust off some brain cells, irene. Not good
I have a temper. But I also will still listen to whomever made that temper flare, depending on how whatever is said, is said. I know that fits in with the Kill The Messenger topic, but those cells that were prodded awake are still a bit sluggish right now...sorry
posted on October 15, 2001 12:24:46 PM new
Donny, maybe the waitress picked her nose before serving the food, or was rude to the friend, or tossed the plate on your friends lap.
posted on October 15, 2001 12:33:36 PM new
It's not "niceness" I look for, an occasional fit of temper is human and expected...even necessary. I simply require a complete absence of cruelty.
Hepburn, for instance, has plenty of temper...but not an ounce of "mean."
posted on October 15, 2001 12:42:24 PM new
Nice people don't make other people's brains explode!
I just caught up with the thread, and my head hurts.
As far as "liking" and "trusting" go, I have people in my life that I like but don't trust. I would guess, that if we could meet some of the people here, even those we disagree with we would "like". Be honest now, do you agree with all the people in your RL? How boring would that be?
As far as I go, I'll say right out loud that I am not a nasty or mean person. I might be blunt, and I sometimes say things I shouldn't, but I don't hurt people on purpose. I've been stomped on by supposed "good friends" once too often myself.
I am sarcastic, as is my Mother, and her Mother before her. It runs deep in my Welsh blood.
So, if I've hurt anyones feelings here, I didn't mean to. And if, in my voicing my opinions, I've offended anyone, I'm sorry. It's not intentional...honest.
posted on October 15, 2001 12:49:14 PM new
Donny: It was the use of "we" in your posts which irked me. You may tend to judge whether you like people based on how they treat you and your friends. I don't use that criteria unless I know enough about the person(s) to know that I can trust that they are being genuine. I'm a cynic.
One of the "nicest" sounding people I've ever talked to on the phone was an elderly genteman, the head of an advertising agency, who I suspected (and later proved) ripped me off to the tune of $500.
posted on October 15, 2001 01:01:20 PM new
"Donny: It was the use of "we" in your posts which irked me."
Don't let that irk you, it's the "in the general" usage of of "we." Of course "you" don't act that way, and neither do "I." That's why we use "we" in the general sense.
posted on October 15, 2001 01:09:27 PM new
Well, I am. I've got a mean streak a mile wide. It's one of my best qualities.
As far as cruelty goes, give me an intentional cruelty over an unintentional cruelty every time. An intentional cruelty can be controlled, an unintentional one can't.
posted on October 15, 2001 01:20:49 PM newAs far as cruelty goes, give me an intentional cruelty over an unintentional cruelty every time. An intentional cruelty can be controlled, an unintentional one can't.
Intention is what matters to me. Stupidity inhabits a whole other realm.
posted on October 15, 2001 01:25:01 PM new
You'd prefer deliberate malicious cruelty over thoughtless cruelty, Donny?
I kind/nice person can be thoughtless, and if the thoughtlessness was pointed out would stop the behavior in horror at having unwittingly caused anguish.
Someone who engages in malicious cruelty does so because they obtain pleasure out of the cruelty. They choose to engage in that behavior.
posted on October 15, 2001 01:35:01 PM new
"You'd prefer deliberate malicious cruelty over thoughtless cruelty, Donny?"
Yup, absolutely, for the reason I said.
A person who thoughtlessly commits a cruelty has no control. He can do as much damage, or more, than the intentionally cruel person. He doesn't have limitations imposed by thoughts of morality or consequences. He just waves that loaded gun around, firing, firing, firing... not stopping or aiming, because he never knows he's shooting.
posted on October 15, 2001 01:58:26 PM new
You can think what you like krs, but I'm not mean. Remember, you can't see anyone's face or expressions, or hear their tone here. Just because I don't agree with you doesn't make me mean.
I'm blunt, conservative, sometimes tactless, but not mean. That doesn't mean I don't have a temper, or that I don't ever say things or do things I shouldn't. But mean or cruel? Nope, I'm not.
Sarcastic, rude at times, mouthy, yep. That's me. But not mean.
The way I am here is the way I am in RL. I'm not a fake, I don't pretend. I won't lie to you, and I won't lead you on. I won't smile at you and then turn and stab you in the back.
@ Hep...
I haven't thrown a picket in a while...heh.
