posted on August 17, 2002 08:15:20 PM new
You know, I just don't "blend" here.
Anybody know where I can go that they can: take the heat; can be personally and emotionally honest; talk parenthood for real;
maybe even talk single-parenting, or Feminist issues (or oppostion to them), or PTSD?
Where "care" isn't crap to impress a board, and where someone might understand that the lower you go the harder it is to dig out and that pain and fatigue aren't personal faults to ridicule? You know, where there isn't fear of controversy or of not looking "smart" or "cool."
Where one can really be themselves, however idiosyncratic and rock bottom?
Please let me know via email.
Not that this hasn't been a nice and fun place! I just need somewhere else right now and I'm not a big 'net cruiser.
posted on August 17, 2002 08:28:30 PM new
Gee no I don't know anywhere tailored quite that closely to your needs.
Sorry you lump us all together and can't see the value of the diversity.
I'm not a parent or feminine so I guess I have no valid view that would interest you.
I know you have had a tough time of it and I don't have any quick fix for the stress and problems. But following your posts over the past months the downword trend of them - the down right bitterness - says you better find some help and accept it.
I hear the words that may be percieved as bitterness, but I sense a fantastic sense of humour and a wisdom beyond your age. Maybe I'm just not taking you as seriously as I should?
As to another place, I just don't know enough about other places to offer a suggestion. Right now, this place is dead as a doornail. But that seems to be relatively true now at other places too. Maybe it's just a seasonal slump. Then too, groups become fractious and people leave for awhile but they usually return.
posted on August 17, 2002 09:10:02 PM new
I don't know but personally that "drama queen on the edge of suicide" thing is getting really old. Good luck in your new home.
posted on August 17, 2002 09:17:24 PM new
>>I don't know but personally that "drama queen on the edge of suicide" thing is getting really old. Good luck in your new home.<<
posted on August 17, 2002 09:43:33 PM new
Now, please do not think that I am bitching you out Cyn by writing this. I truly am trying to say it in as nice a way as possible.
Well, ncyc, I do read your posts and I'd like to respond to them more, but there never is any substance for me to go with . . . ya know? Blah, Blah, Blah, you talk a lot, I feel, but never say anything. Believe me: I look for every opportunity that I can to strike up something to talk about with you. But it just hasn't been happening and I have nothing that I can relate to you about. I kow that you've tried to repeat the opinions of what others have had to say to "belong", but nothing of Cyn . . . ya know? Does Cyn not really give two hoots about the issues? Why not just come out and tell us that -- give us something to chew on, somthing that we can talk about. I'm not trying to chew yer butt, but I hate sitting here reading your Goodby posts and really have nothing to say except Goodby. Can't you put your thoughts into your posts -- not simply how you feel, but what makes you tick on a certain issue? Have you read up on an issue and have an opinion that you'd care to share with the rest of us? Throw us a bone here, Cyn, ya know?
posted on August 17, 2002 09:51:42 PM new"Anybody know where I can go that they can: take the heat; can be personally and emotionally honest; talk parenthood for real; maybe even talk single-parenting, or Feministissues (or oppostion to them), or PTSD?"
Why are you implying that everyone has let you down? That nobody here is capable of the things you list? I've never seen you post any of these topics for discussion. I'm sure if you did, everyone who's online at the time, would add something. Some of us don't have children, so it's hard to relate to specific things nycyn. I think everyone here tries their best, but maybe that's not what you need right now. (??)
[ edited by kraftdinner on Aug 17, 2002 09:54 PM ]
posted on August 17, 2002 09:59:31 PM new
I was a single mother since my boys were one and six. One was weird crazy and one deaf. It was hard physically, emotionally, and financially.
I filed bankruptcy at 21. Married and divorced twice by 25. Known murders, people that have been murdered. Grew up in street gangs in Chicago. Motorcycle clubs as an adult. Had a contract on my life from San Quintin. Started over more times then I can count.
I also did good things! Volunteered in day care for the Black Panthers. Volunteered at hospitals, so many different organizations it would be too many to list. Went to college for Early Childhood Ed., Animal Health Tech, Paralegal.
This is way more than you wanted to know (and everyone else) But, my point is, we are a varied group here all with a life time of stories. Most of us have tried to offer advice and help to you, and be friendly. I think you reject us more than we reject you. So, I hope you find peace in your life, and people that you have more in common with. I do mean that in a good way.
posted on August 17, 2002 10:34:09 PM new
No wonder, chococake, that when you believe in something, you feel all the way or not at all. You want to give you total loyalty to the right cause, you are a Samuri at heart, you go past knowing right from wrong - you can feel it in your bones. No more complicated than a handful of earth, yet able to endure what must be endured, you turn from your darker nature and seek the light that shines from within your soul. Be kind and gentle, that they may know you and your ways. I always suspected this of you.
posted on August 18, 2002 06:22:43 AM new
chococake's post...
I just wanted nyc to know we felt her pain, and all of us here have more in common than not.
Amen to that!!!
Nycyn ....Hang in there. Most posters here would fry the computer wires if I posed a question such as yours... In fact, you may have been burned just by association.
posted on August 18, 2002 07:40:03 AM new
Nycyn, you're right in thinking that this place sometimes appears to be populated by students completing their Senior theses - "depersonalize that argument, Mr. Doe, and document your sources." But I think if you ask the questions you want answered, you'll generally get them from this group. ( I can't give you any "kid" advice based on experience since I don't have any.)
posted on August 18, 2002 08:30:51 AM new
I could offer some kid advice.
My daughter worked with the founder of head start, Edward Zigler at Yale University. So if you have a question relating to child psychology I can get an answer. She helped write a text book on the topic.
posted on August 18, 2002 11:12:59 AM new
Helen,I could give kid advice too but since I never felt I did a very good job raising mine it probably wouldn't be good advice.I am always amazed they turned out well ~ I know it wasn't me.
When I was in high school I worked for Head Start one summer. That was a great job! I haven't heard about them for so long I thought they'd gone away. A marvelous program .
Choco, That wasn't more than anyone wanted to hear. Great story.
I haven't been posting much due to the stresses in my own life. I think that is true of a lot of people.
I'm there if you want to talk about feminism . Have to admit that due to my own life stress of the past few months I needed to take a break from political talk for awhile.
posted on August 18, 2002 11:20:16 AM new
>>So if you have a question relating to child psychology I can get an answer.<<
Great! The Kid turns seven next week. My question is: What is normal?
"Dissent is acceptable unless it is true dissent." I'm going to chew on this for a while; it's like a logic problem. (I add that 'logic' part because, well, I've possibly been assuming that the obvious **to me* associations might be made by some others here.
Maybe I'm just an AWRT dissenter! The dissenter of the dissenters! Maybe we are both too smart...
It appears that no one has gotten the one (primary) theme, that it appears I've only browbeaten Myself to, um, The Great Big Fat Void with, which is that a lot of people Have-Been-Screwed down here and No-One-Is-Looking-For-Them and if they look for The Helping Hand they are going to just flap desperately in the air like the young Helen Keller. And that is the history of the American people and if it offends them to have it in their face, I'm sorry about that.
And if anybody thinks I'm pitiful because I "don't take advice" I'd like to invite them into my shoes for a while. The Biggest Linker Of Them All would dream of the good old days in Nam, I'm convinced, after doing this tour-of-duty for even three months. I'm begining to think the BLOTA never was in 'nam except maybe on that ship that got derailed to Australia at the last minute. Or maybe I remind the BLOTA of some of the real crap, which is why he reacts so negatively to me, then which I'd like to recommend that he "Rage, rage Against the dying light" lest his humanity dissolves completely, irretrievably, into pixels.
I've brought nothing to the board blah blah, but I think some of you will remember me for a long, long time.
Now, can anybody spare a quarter?
(edited to fix a word and to remove excessive winks)
[ edited by nycyn on Aug 18, 2002 11:27 AM ]
posted on August 18, 2002 11:35:52 AM new
>Great! The Kid turns seven next week. My question is: What is normal?
There! You see? How can I respond to a question like that? What? I should start writing the Encyclopedia of Normal Child Development, all 15,000 pages right here to answer your question? You have to ask more specific questions than that, Cyn, because no one really has a frame of reference to hang a subject onto.
For instance, you might phrase your question this way: "I want to know what is normal for a seven year old boy. My/our/their seven year old boy displays these traits: [insert description] and I think [insert opinion] about it and am worried/glad/sad/mad. Can any of you help me to shed some light on what may be wrong/right/unacceptable/acceptable about this (these) sort(s) of behavior(s)?
Something more like that kind of format will get you some answers. Your question are always vague to me and you hide facts behind codewords that I have not a clue about. If you come out into the open and speak plainly, factually, and informatively, you'll get plenty of responses. You can count on it.
edited UBB
[ edited by Borillar on Aug 18, 2002 11:40 AM ]
posted on August 18, 2002 11:40:15 AM new
nycyn, the only person who can help you is you. You either decide to make it...or not. It's up to you. Nobody on a chat board is going to pull your a$$ out of the fire. Decide what you want to do about your life and do it quickly. You have someone else depending upon you so you better make some decisions quick. Good luck.
posted on August 18, 2002 11:43:24 AM new
At 7? Normal isn't always obvious at 7. What do you think he is doing that might not be normal?
Are you saying that you have searched out help and you can't find any in NYC? Is the problem that it costs money or is it that there isn't any available to you? Most places do have sliding scales for payment if that is a problem. See, we can talk here all we want but we can't really help you because it is difficult to get the whole picture from words typed out on a board. Especially when you do not always speak straight. You allude to things.A board like this is not the best place to tell all about yourself anyway.Too public a place.
There is a crisis hotline here in this metro area that I have had to call in the past and they refer you to someone or someplace that can help and they won't let you off the line until they feel sure you are ok. Have you called your area crisis line? There has to be one.
I'm not quite sure what kind of help you need or want or expect.
posted on August 18, 2002 11:45:47 AM new
You don't need to like cats yourself to feel compassion for someone else that is hurting because of a cat.
or a dog. or any other crisis that you may not be personaly involved in.
