posted on August 18, 2002 11:56:22 AM new
>>For instance, you might phrase your question this way: "I want to know what is normal for a seven year old boy. My/our/their seven year old boy displays these traits: [insert description] and I think [insert opinion] about it and am worried/glad/sad/mad. Can any of you help me to shed some light on what may be wrong/right/unacceptable/acceptable about this (these) sort(s) of behavior(s)?<<
My "question" was intended to be humor. You guys were great in the Scrotum thread tho', thanks for reminding me!!!
posted on August 18, 2002 12:57:42 PM new
{{{nycyn}}}
what can I say?
I don't really 'blend' here, either.
I used to, many moons ago, but a lot of the innuendos went over my head & I could never figure out why helen thought I was someone else ~ whatever ~
sometimes I lurk ~ the politics and religion stuff can be pretty intense for me ~ I'd rather not get worked up about issues right now ~ life is hairy enough ~ I come here for the 'relax' part of the RT.
I rarely pull up a chair. I can usually be found at the EO.
There are still a lot of Great posters over at Barry's ~ I'm not much of a board person.
RL has been crazy ~ two boys (one highly gifted, one athletically gifted), three dogs, a cat, a new hubby, an acre of overgrown land and a house that is much more of a fixer-upper than we thought (six friggin bathrooms in this place! yikes!). Grandma just passed, ex is a moron, uncle in assisted living, best friend in an abusive relationship, coaching two baseball teams, and running lotsa auctions.
I'm here for the fluff, mebbe some current events.
Your initial post hit hard ~ being 'personally & emotionally honest' is the only option for me ~ I never acquired the fine art of game playing and prefer to live in reality.
Trying to dig your way out is tuff ~ tackling it with pain and fatigue is not something to ridicule, rather something to be respected. I admire your courage and strength.
You do not have an easy path.
Try to remember that No one has an easy path.
If you truly are hitting rock bottom, you need to find real help, not chat board advice. Please reach out and get what you need.
You deserve to feel good about yourself, your life, your decisions, and the journey in front of you.
{{{val}}}
posted on August 18, 2002 05:26:17 PM new
Hey zoomin--nice to hear from you. Concrete stuff like "I'm up to my eyeballs in doo-doo lately" is at least something, or even much more than something (bunzel too), as opposed to nothing or jabs. Even better--"I'm here for fluff." Absolutely dead-on straight forward and I respect and can appreciate that. (I'm not able to help you tho'--not feeling too fluffy lately.) Oh yeah, and you understand about digging out. Yeah, I've walking on my knees for a long time with this kid lifted over my head. Hallelujiah somebody *gets* it. Warm wishes. (Aw and you just missed a fabulous shower curtain I had up!)
Concerning my wicked twin stepsistah: Don't mind her. I do declare that we both suffer from the vapors from time to time. It's genetic. Think nothing of it.
I took The Kid out for a burger. There was guy at the next table, which means 12" away in Manahattan. He was fiddling with some coins. It got me to get us yakking. Turns out he collects and sometimes sells on eBay, yada, is a mucky-muck at the VA, blah-blah but I saw Nam all over his face and I was quick to get to the point already and get it over with it. Once I established he was indeed a Vietnam Vet, I gently tried this one out on him: "Sometimes I feel like a Vet..." "Well of course you do.." "I mean not that I went through what you guys went through of course..." "Sure it is. The closer you are to it the more you are affected", etc.
Really nice, empathic guy. And secure and stable and all that stuff. A "good boy." And at least as lonely as me. Four hours later, an ice cream, the river and the playground, we pretty much know each others life story. Potential match here. Maybe should just get married and hold the rest of the conversation for later. But there's one problem: I no longer care about sex. I just don't. I reckon that makes me a worthless commodity.
The Kid showed his appreciation by lining his underwear with a thin smear of feces. "I don't know, Mommy, maybe a poop-fart?"
posted on August 18, 2002 06:18:34 PM newpoop fart
LMAO!
He must know my eight YO!
So clever that boy of yours!
From everything you describe, he really does sound similar to my younger son.
Sometimes it ca be pretty difficult to get on his wavelength.
Here ya go:
me: a-man, we need to leave in 5 min. Please get your shoes on.
him: (silence)
me: aaron, are you ready?
him: (deafening silence)
me: ok, kids, let's go.
him: (nothing)
me: Aaron, Are You Coming?
him: (nothing)
me: AARON...Let's Go!!!
him: I'm getting my socks.
me: grab your shoes ~ you can put them on in the car. We're running late.
About three minutes later he makes it to the car.
me: AARON, WHERE ARE YOUR SHOES?
him: They aren't here?
me: NO, WE DO NOT HAVE ANY SHOES IN THE CAR.
him: well, where are they?
me: GO IN THE HOUSE AND FIND YOUR @%$&!*^$%! SNEAKERS!
DeJaVu for you?
Since the only time he hears me is when I yell, he thinks that all I ever do is yell at him.
*sigh*
so...
about the guy...
nice, empathetic, secure, and stable?
in New York?
Grab on to him and run like hell!!!
Potential match or potential friend, they both sound good!
and don't worry...
The interest in sex will come back when the Blue Bird of Happiness poop farts on your head
posted on August 18, 2002 06:28:34 PM new
I don't have the answers, nycyn. I think to some extent, we're all in this game of life both alone and together. I remember when we first thought my father would die, I wondered if he was worried about an incident he was involved in where he had to kill a man. I asked my mother whether she thought he might want to talk to the hospital chaplain. My mother blew it off saying , "what for? That happened a long time ago." A couple months ago when she and I were sorting through the papers he had saved (he died in March), we found all the newspaper clippings about that event and a shootout with some bank robbers at a motel. His backup there was a local cop that remained one of his best friends. He told my mother that when they knocked on the motel door, the robbers opened up, fired, and he said a bullet was going right to his friend's head when it veered off. He also investigated the TWA crash at Mount Weather. I think it was tough for him to return there day after day because of what he had to see. Yet he seldom spoke of any of this. But it obviously was life-impacting because he kept everything related to it. It was probably something that he could talk about with his friend because he understood. I doubt that even he could understand the scope of what you've dealt with.
My pals down the road are an emergency room nurse and a medevac nurse. I think they relieve some of the stress by partying hearty. Although all of us go through rough patches, some jobs are always going to be tougher. And I think the aftermath of 9/11 is something that none of the nurses or EMTs that I know ever thought they'd face.
posted on August 18, 2002 07:56:15 PM new
zoomin: smiling back at you!
>>The interest in sex will come back when the Blue Bird of Happiness poop farts on your head<<
When The Kid poop farts on me I'm going to start faking it.
I understand about Aaron. There's 20 of these an hour and I can't keep up. (I described some of this in another thread recently.) In the restaurant The Kid was doing laps between the bar and restaurant area. The place was empty so I permitted this plus jeeezus-anything-that-helps-wear-him-out and I was trying my best to have an adult conversation, not that he didn't stop every twenty seconds to bust my chops. "I want dessert! I want dessert!" I indicate flatly to the barely eaten burger and say, "Oh yeah? Well what's wrong with this picture?" He says: "I don't know. I have nothing to paint it with?"
Ba da boom. I see the enemy and it is me.
8(?) kids, a man, and a house on an acre with six bathrooms? Let me ask this as gently as I can in here, you part Bunny?
posted on August 18, 2002 08:04:00 PM new
Zoomin addendum:
>>me: AARON, WHERE ARE YOUR SHOES?
him: They aren't here?
me: NO, WE DO NOT HAVE ANY SHOES IN THE CAR.
him: well, where are they?
me: GO IN THE HOUSE AND FIND YOUR @%$&!*^$%! SNEAKERS!<<
posted on August 18, 2002 08:11:11 PM new
You meet people you are supposed to meet when you need to meet them.
I hope you've met someone that can help you by understanding, Nycyn.It will help you so much more to have someone tangible to really talk to than those of us here that really do care what happens to you and your son but have little to help you with.
LOL @ the poop fart....my son was good at those too when he was small.
Hi Zoomin, Good to see you!
For whatever it's worth...no one really blends here.
posted on August 18, 2002 08:40:25 PM new
saabsister: This deserves more than I can bring to it at this late hour but let me at least start an attempt. Your father died in March? It's been that long already? Sheesh.
>>A couple months ago when she and I were sorting through the papers he had saved (he died in March), we found all the newspaper clippings about that event and a shootout with some bank robbers at a motel. His backup there was a local cop that remained one of his best friends. He told my mother that when they knocked on the motel door, the robbers opened up, fired, and he said a bullet was going right to his friend's head when it veered off. He also investigated the TWA crash at Mount Weather. I think it was tough for him to return there day after day because of what he had to see. Yet he seldom spoke of any of this. But it obviously was life-impacting because he kept everything related to it. It was probably something that he could talk about with his friend because he understood.<<
I have a bunch of stuff. Photos. Other mementos. They are all in a pile and I'll probably never look at them until I try to save them properly. It might be a way of saying to kids and grandkids--hey, i was somebody. Or better--see your great-grandma or your great-great aunt or something *was somebody* or *was part of a certain history*. I don't take it very personally at all. I don't know how to describe it better than that. At least not at this hour.
>>I doubt that even he could understand the scope of what you've dealt with.<<
I never had to kill anybody. I've assisted people to kinder deaths but that's another story. Nothing illegal.
>>My pals down the road are an emergency room nurse and a medevac nurse. I think they relieve some of the stress by partying hearty. Although all of us go through rough patches, some jobs are always going to be tougher. And I think the aftermath of 9/11 is something that none of the nurses or EMTs that I know ever thought they'd face.<<
This is a scene I'm very familiar with. These are people who are inudated with hard-core trauma all of the time, outside of the normal day-to-day realm. All of the time. The worst of the WTC for them, I think, is that it overlooks the day-to-day heroes that people like them are. They see more physical trauma than all of NYC has seen as a result of this incident. All Emergency personnel, everywhere, should be routinely saluted.
posted on August 19, 2002 04:52:24 AM new
geez nycyn, you gave me a Monday morning anxiety attack!
Eight kids like Aaron would have me in a nicely padded cell years ago!
TWO kids, both boys, one eight & the other ten. Sorry about any confusion!
Aaron is such a good kid but he has a tendency to drive me crazy.
I try to remind myself that one day he will makes us very proud
I agree with rawbunz (so good to see you, too!).
Our paths cross with people when the time is right.
To add:
Only sometimes do we actually have a say in whether they will pass right through our lives or become a part of it.
Learned that that part the hard way, choosing people that were meant to move on!
Although most of you know that I spend waaaay too much time at the Baseball field...
does your son play sports at all, nycyn?
Aaron plays competitive Baseball, he has since he was 7. The Coaches are very hard on him and have been amazing role models. His talent puts him in a different category than typical rec ball sports so the coaching is more extreme rather than just 'daddy little league'. He has no problems with self-control or self-discipline. Being an integral part of the 'team', he has a responsibility to be there so we work around the 'I dont want to paly today' thing.
The kids have so much respect for each other! {i}No one[/i] is the 'stud' on the team ~
one kid hits so hard, another is the fastest runner, the next has an incredible arm, etc. Mutual respect at age eight.
awesome.
Highly recommended!
posted on August 19, 2002 01:09:49 PM new
>>Yet he seldom spoke of any of this. But it obviously was life-impacting because he kept everything related to it. It was probably something that he could talk about with his friend because he understood.<<
saabsister: I thought about this a lot today. I think that just about sums it up for me too.
bunz: On poop-farts: What scares me, is that I've read males never outgrow them.
zoomin: I know sports are critical. Not esay to come by in the city unless you pay a fortune or sign up a year in advance, which reminds me...
posted on August 20, 2002 04:57:17 AM new
Good Morning Cyn!
How bout instead of that secret AW game we play a different one?
[email protected]
more my style ~ no games, that's me!
Your 'evil twin' can e-me there, too!
(But only if you tell me why you assaulted me so badly last year Helen!)
Had nightmares about giving birth to twins last night.
Just like that creepy pic above!
I have no desire to play games with you or communicate with you by email. Let's keep everything above board.
Where did I "assault" you? It's not fair to make such an accusation here without corroborating evidence and then suggest that it be discussed by email. I encourage you to post whatever you perceived as an "assault" right here so that I may apologize or not.
posted on August 20, 2002 08:24:53 AM new
Helen,
It was a million years ago and long forgotten ~ I wrote it off as a lesson learned.
I'm not sure if you thought I was rocker (many people did) or someone else, it doesn't really matter. Whoever you thought I was had apparently not been very nice to you! At the time, I wasn't even aware that people 'reincarnated' themselves or posted under multiple ID's.
liv'n'learn
You edjumacated me
Don't let it rent space in your brain ~ not worth it!
It was a bunch of innuendos that made no sense to me. If I was whoever you thought I was, it probably would have been rational rather than coming off as an unwarranted attack.
If you need to recall it, you are much better at the searches than I am. I really don't know the specifics since the whole thing went over my head.
Do you remember who you first thought I was? That would probably remind you of the whole shebang without having to hunt!
I'm just me.
I have a schizophrenic persona when I haven't had enough coffee, though!
posted on August 20, 2002 01:33:37 PM new
>>no more creepy witchlike pics of you & nycyn, though, okay?<<
zoomin: Hey, they aren't heavy, they are sisters. I love that pic.
>>Nycyn and I were called the Doublemint twins<<
Eve: Nurse Ratchet thinks you should hang it up. Besides, this constant logging off and logging back in and changing passwords and all that is getting tedious. Not to mention what you have been doing to my charge cards!
Hang it up? Impossible! I need two or more computers! I need ISP accounts all over the world! I want many accounts on Ebay! I need more charge cards. Hell, I've just begun to think! HaHaHa!!!
Okay have it your way, but this special sunblock 30 fabric, designer feather g-string & pasties you picked up at Bergdorf's (never mind the 3' wide Versace sombrero) were absolutely the last straw. You go, or I'm telling Eugene & Harold & Rocco & Luis & Len all about you and each other. Your choice. No problem.
If only mama was still alive...
Cybyl
[ edited by nycyn on Aug 20, 2002 06:04 PM ]
posted on August 21, 2002 06:38:33 AM new
zoomin is here...
hyperventilating from the multiple personalities...
stressed out...
pictures of child witches dancing in my head...
dang doublemint gum theme buzzing through my little brain...
it's a great great way way to double your pleasure and fun fun. chew chew double double good good doublemint doublemint gum
heeeeellllppppppp.......
edit:annoying smiley choice!
[ edited by zoomin on Aug 21, 2002 06:39 AM ]
posted on August 21, 2002 08:10:25 AM new
Hi Zoomin!
You saved my life. My devious twin has left me with the most minimal wardrobe and frankly I don't know how to handle it. LOL!
I've had bikinis in my lifetime but pasties and feather g- strings are a little out of my realm.
I always thought that Bergdorf's catered to a conservative clientele.
But as usual, Nycyn has presented me with a new deminsion to add to my character development.
Do you ever have a fantasy of coming out like Little Egypt?
Little Egypt came out a-struttin' wearin' nothin' but a button and a bow
