posted on August 21, 2003 07:15:18 PM new
I just read an article about how the kidnapped girl, Elizabeth Smart, is doing these days. Her parents say that they never talk about the kidnapping unless she brings it up. They also say that they don't have any intentions of putting her into therapy because "she's a strong girl". According to them, everything is fine and they are just wrapping up some book and movie deals about the story.
posted on August 21, 2003 07:25:52 PM new
That her parents live in a candy coated dream world where nothing bad ever really happned. If they turn it into a movie then it's not really real, it's just a TV drama. That girl need to be in therapy, and she needs to be there now. No matter how benign the therapy is at first, she needs to have that outlet available to her when it starts to boil over. It obvious from her parents reaction from the day she was found that they are in deep denial over what has happened which is going to be more of a hinderence than a help to her down the line.
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Men Are Like Grapes. If You Stomp on Them and Keep Them in the Dark Long Enough, They Might Turn Into Something That You Would Take to Dinner
posted on August 21, 2003 08:14:11 PM new
Canuck stories? Like how many caribou we have? Why our money is coloured? What Jean Chrietien is doing with the country? What?
posted on August 21, 2003 09:40:03 PM new
Helen - I believe that any time a young girl is kidnapped from her home during the middle of the night and held for months, sexually assaulted and brain washed even in the most subtle of manners there are going to be long term ramifications which therapy could help her to deal with.
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Men Are Like Grapes. If You Stomp on Them and Keep Them in the Dark Long Enough, They Might Turn Into Something That You Would Take to Dinner
posted on August 21, 2003 09:45:39 PM new
I've wondered that now and again Kraft, tell us about your politics up there?
What party do you like? What PM's were the best? Hows the economy? Are you 'over' taxed, or is just right? How's that National Medical going... that kind of stuff
There is one question that always intrigued me with Canadian eBay sellers... but this is the RT, so it probably wouldn't be appropriate.
Art Bell Retired! George Noory is on late night coasttocoastam.com
posted on August 21, 2003 10:15:26 PM new
You want to know that junk? Seriously Near?
I'm Liberal, but don't vote here because I'm American. Trudeau was the best P.M., in my opinion. The economy is doing great. Canadians will always be over-taxed. The medical system here is in trouble.
Ask away about Cdn. eBay sellers. I'll do my best.
posted on August 21, 2003 10:29:35 PM new
Oh, so you vote here in the U.S? cool
Ok, what I've always wondered is, the US dollar is 'worth' more than the Canadian dollar, right? And every single other country has to use their own currency, and have those little handy converters on their auctions, well... how come ALL Canadian eBay sellers sell in US Dollar only? Shouldn't they sell in Canadian dollars only?
Well sure, I understand its more money for them, I just see that Australia has to use their own, UK their own, etc etc.. there is eBay UK, eBay Germany, eBay Australia, and there is an eBay Canada.
Does this mean that US sellers can sell in say, UK pounds, because the pound is more than the US dollar? Could I do that?
Ok thats what I was wondering...
the medical is in trouble? I thought National healthcare was supposed to be good, all the Libs here want it for the U.S.
(I don't but I know people that do)
Art Bell Retired! George Noory is on late night coasttocoastam.com
posted on August 21, 2003 10:52:21 PM new
I'm not sure Near. When I list on eBay Canada, it shows me the price in both Canadian and American dollars. So if I buy something here for $20.00 Cdn. and sell it on eBay for $20.00 U.S., the exchange rate is my profit. Is that what you mean?
The problem with the medical system is the amount of people using it for hang-nails, etc. This has forced cut-backs to the point where really sick people can't get the proper care they need. A suggestion to have a $25.00 user pay for doctor's visits (non-emergency situations) was met with hysterics from Canadians, so the situation gets worse and worse.
posted on August 21, 2003 11:11:58 PM new
Wow, gonna hit it now, but wanted to comment
I don't believe I have that option, if I did, I would want British pounds.
(But I'll take Gold if they'll send it! )
But I don't list in the eBay 'sell your item' thing, or Vendio, I only use Sellers Assistant, I don't even need to go into ebay, unless I want to
Well, I can see the problems with National healthcare, that is why I don't understand the push here for it... or maybe that 'push' has stopped, I hope so! I'll stick with, and complain about my crappy medical insurance instead
Art Bell Retired! George Noory is on late night coasttocoastam.com
posted on August 21, 2003 11:21:21 PM new
My thoughts?
I think no one knows their child better than a parent. I'm sure they have their reasons for only discussing her experience when SHE chooses to bring it up. Doesn't mean she doesn't bring it up or that it's never discussed.
And they, as a family, have a strong religious faith. Some people choose to lean on that faith for help with their trials/problems. If they feel she doesn't need therapy then it's their choice until she reaches the age of majority. Then it will be her decision.
posted on August 21, 2003 11:23:20 PM new
Krafty - evreytime I mention moving out of the country I get a storm of Whydo you want to do that? Why are you going THERE? People that know my politics think that I am convinced the nation is going to hell and am getting while it is good (true, but not why I am leaving). If you don't mind me asking... when and why did you move?
Near - I have items that don't sell in the US that sell very well in the UK. Those items I list on the ebay.uk site in pounds and my PayPal account is set up to accept payment in both US dollars and UK pounds. Of course every now and then I forget to make my UK listings "Ship to the UK only" and get a US buyer purchase a UK listed item and I get to explain conversion rates and such... now THAT is a pain. They seem to think that because we are both in the US they should pay the GBP amount wihout converting to USD value.
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Men Are Like Grapes. If You Stomp on Them and Keep Them in the Dark Long Enough, They Might Turn Into Something That You Would Take to Dinner
posted on August 21, 2003 11:30:30 PM new
Linda - with all due respect - parents do not always know best. They see what they want to see and accept what they want to accept - reality very rarely factors in to how parents see their teenage children. By their very nature, teenagers do not tend to communicate innermost feelings to their parents.
Consider this. Therapy is by no means going to hurt this child but it absolutely could help her. I don't think that you come away from an ordeal such as hers unscarred and if you look at some of the interviews her father did following her return, he does not come across as someone who is adept at dealing with harsh realities.
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Men Are Like Grapes. If You Stomp on Them and Keep Them in the Dark Long Enough, They Might Turn Into Something That You Would Take to Dinner
posted on August 21, 2003 11:39:48 PM new
fenix - I would not expect people who don't hold strong religious beliefs to understand.
Therapy is not a science. Some are in therapy most of their lives and don't find the help they seek.
What harm? Maybe she's not ready to disclose exactly what happened to a stranger, or anyone for that matter. Maybe she's a very private person who would feel more humiliation by discussing such personal matters with a stranger.
My opinion is the child herself will seek out someone [help] if she feels a need to talk about her feelings. She is very loved by a large number of her family members...she is not isolated as many people find themselves today...not in communication with their families...no faith to lean on.
And sometimes that's all a therapist does....is act as a friend/advisor when people either don't have friends to discuss things with or friends/family who offer guidance.
posted on August 21, 2003 11:44:15 PM new
I agree with you Linda. I was thinking more about how they say they don't talk much about the kidnapping with their daughter but are happily signing book and movie deals about what happened to her. It seems exploitive to me.
I moved here permanantly when I was 11, Fenix, so I didn't have much say. A string of family tragedies made my mother pack up and leave.
I miss the U.S. It's a fantastic country, but I loved Mexico too, so I can understand you completely!
P.S. It's 30 degrees here, it's 2:48 AM and I can't sleep, so sorry for the rambling!!
[ edited by kraftdinner on Aug 22, 2003 11:58 AM ]
posted on August 21, 2003 11:56:03 PM new
Linda - A good therapist is not going to force her to deal with things unless she is ready to. The point would be to develop a safe non judgemental relationship in which she feels comfortable talking about the situation when she is ready to. That person could just be a friend to babble to for months or even years but when issues finally come to a head, it is a non judgemental place to land (if you have a good therapist that is). I don't need religion to understand that. I don't need to have a religion to understand religious people or teenagers.
I also absolutely feel that the family exploiting the situation which is another reason I think it is important that there be an outside individual for her turn to, vent to, etc, especially when everything is going to come to a head again as the book, movies, etc are released and publicity must be done.
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Men Are Like Grapes. If You Stomp on Them and Keep Them in the Dark Long Enough, They Might Turn Into Something That You Would Take to Dinner
posted on August 22, 2003 12:12:09 AM new
fenix - I understand what you think should be done, what you would do if this were your child. And I've expressed my opinion. But it's their call...not ours.
There are many things parents do to and with their children that others don't agree with. But parents are the ones who make these decisions for their own child.
Unless some court feels she is being harmed, and they then step in, the parents call the shots...right or wrong.
posted on August 22, 2003 01:27:02 AM new
Krafty - Ramble at will I remember those temps from my days in the midwest. They are part of the reason I kept moving. Now I have no seasons it in the 90s with way too much humidity for my taste (humidity is why I left the east coast). I've never really spent muh time in Canada. I figured if I didn't like Mexico I'd try out Japan, never really considered Canada but Vancouver has always sounded interesting... What do you consider to be the advantages and downfalls of Canadian living?
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Men Are Like Grapes. If You Stomp on Them and Keep Them in the Dark Long Enough, They Might Turn Into Something That You Would Take to Dinner
"Linda - with all due respect - parents do not always know best. They see what they want to see and accept what they want to accept - reality very rarely factors in to how parents see their teenage children. By their very nature, teenagers do not tend to communicate innermost feelings to their parents."
Fenix, Nobody "always" knows best. Your comment, that "reality very rarely factors in to how parents see their teenage children" should give all parents of teenagers a very hearty laugh. I agree with Linda 100% on this issue.
posted on August 22, 2003 08:33:17 AM new
Of course the kids are laughing Helen - they are laughing at how clueless their parents are to what is going on in their lives.
Alcohol and drug usage, sexual activity, eating disorders, depression issues .... these are just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to issues and activitites in teens lives that most parensts are obilvious to until they reach critical levels.
How many potentially dangerous things did you or people around you do during your teens that your parents either never knew about or only found out about years later? Most parents these days are just plain too busy these days to take a real look at what is going on in their kids lives but there are many that are oblivious by choice.
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Men Are Like Grapes. If You Stomp on Them and Keep Them in the Dark Long Enough, They Might Turn Into Something That You Would Take to Dinner
posted on August 22, 2003 09:53:23 AM new
Yes Helen I do. The fact that you think that every parent has the time or the inclination to know what is going on in their kids lives in niave. I know that ignorance, whether voluntary or not, is not the norm but it is a reality. I have a long time client who was recently lamenting about the trials and tribulations in her family after her believed to be virgin daughter announced her pregnancy and revealed that she had been active for well over a year.
Maybe you should reign in the arrogance Helen - there are no absolutes.
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Men Are Like Grapes. If You Stomp on Them and Keep Them in the Dark Long Enough, They Might Turn Into Something That You Would Take to Dinner
posted on August 22, 2003 10:08:23 AM new Fenix evaluation of Parents... They see what they want to see and accept what they want to accept - reality very rarely factors in to how parents see their teenage children. By their very nature, teenagers do not tend to communicate innermost feelings to their parents.
The problem, Fenix is that you are taking a FEW irresponsible parents and referring to them as if they are the NORM. (see your quote above)
Maybe this was your experience as a teenager, Fenix. You have mentioned that you attended boarding school so that may factor into your belief.
Actually, parents who live with their children know a great deal about their teenagers.
posted on August 22, 2003 10:32:31 AM new
Helen - since all parents that live with their kids are so aware of their trials and tribulations please explain Columbine and Santee to me. Please explain teenage suicides, ODs, and eating disorders discovered only when they reach critical levels, etc. .
Once again Helen - there are no absolutes. As for me and my parents - I don't factor them in - I do not consider my teen years to be the norm.
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Men Are Like Grapes. If You Stomp on Them and Keep Them in the Dark Long Enough, They Might Turn Into Something That You Would Take to Dinner
[ edited by Fenix03 on Aug 22, 2003 10:33 AM ]
posted on August 22, 2003 10:40:39 AM newThey see what they want to see and accept what they want to accept - reality very rarely factors in to how parents see their teenage children. By their very nature, teenagers do not tend to communicate innermost feelings to their parents.
As you said, there are no absolutes. That is why the statement that you made above is wrong. Your statement infers average, at least and we know that most children do not become involved in Columbine and Santee...Most children do not commit suicide or become involved in the other problems that you mention.
posted on August 22, 2003 10:41:22 AM new
The SMART FAMILY is too cheap to pay for therapy. They are the pits. This entire situation would not have happened in the first place if they had hired a professional to work on their house instead of picking up a bum off the side of the road to do it.
They were to cheap and stingy to pay for real workman and thought they could get away with paying this guy twenty bucks and lunch.The Smarts had a history of exploting the homeless for labor.
Their daughter was picked up by a mad man, sexually assualted and psychologically abused - If she does not qualify for therapy I don't know who would.
