posted on October 13, 2000 02:05:32 AM newJulesy:Surely you aren't saying that a woman's reproductive rights should hinge on her social or financial status? I hope I'm reading you wrong.
Yes, you are. I'm saying that just because a woman (or *man* for that matter) is *able* to have a child, that doesn't mean they *should*. To me, there's a whole lot more to it than the mere physical ability. Are you old enough (emotionally as well as physically). Are you sure you want children (not all women are "mommy Material"--nor are all men "daddy material". Are you willing to sacrifice for a child (give your time, give up your toys in order to provide for child, put child's needs at top of your list of life, etc.). Like it or not $ does come into the equation--can you support a child or children (adequate food, shelter & other necessities of life--we really don't live by love alone). And can you support a child's *emotional* needs (see "sure you want children" here, too).
And for me, personally, it can go even further than that. It has been my growing belief over the years that some people, who can answer yes to all of the above, should adopt rather than have their own children. It's a quirk of mine that I get furious when I hear of people who *know* they will pass on a disease or genetic fault to any children they may have, and then go ahead and have children.
posted on October 13, 2000 05:07:51 AM new
As I told my three kids as they were growing up in my single-parent, one-income household, we were not poor. We were broke.
There is a big difference between being "poor" and "broke."
posted on October 13, 2000 05:28:43 AM newBunnicula --
I think many of your points are valid, but...and this is hard to put into words...I don't think it is as cut and dry as just asking yourself those pertinent types of questions.
I know if I had asked myself all those questions, before having children, I would have doubted myself and my abilities to be a decent parent.
I just think there are lotsa gray areas here, but my sleep-deprived brain isn't allowing me to put them into words.
posted on October 13, 2000 10:07:53 AM new
We have two non-biological children. Non-biological parents are the most investaged married couple in the world.
I could not have biological children. ( because of military injury) we applied to be placed on the adoption waiting list with the State welfare agency.
Our daughter was a Pvt adoption. She is now 30yrs old. All case studies are done by the State welfare agency on any adoption.
Most Pvt adoption agencies are more concerned about rhe amount of fees. It is like an eBay Auction. The highest bid gets the child. We could not afford what they wanted in fees.
Our daughter was adopted through our Lawyer.
She was 5yrs old when our Son was born. We lived in a 2 bedroom trailer. We had forgotten about the applying at the State welfare agency.
It was on a Friday when the call came from the welfare dept. wanting to know if we still wanted to adopt a child. We were shocked!. They wanted to start the case study now.
The case worker came to our home. It was the same lady that did the case study with our daughter.
When she got ready to leave, she looked me right in the eyes & said. "You need another bedroom for your Son, can you have it in a week". I said You bet!!!. The bedroom was ready in 4 days. We got our Son on Saturday.
We are very proud of our Children and yes, the giving & receiving love are the most important factors of being a parent. Our Son is now 25.
. Are you willing to sacrifice for a child (give your time, give up your toys in order to provide for child, put child's needs at top of your list of life, etc.). Like it or not $ does come into the equation--can you support a child or children (adequate food, shelter & other necessities of life--we really don't live by love alone). And can you support a child's *emotional* needs (see "sure you want children" here, too).
