kiara
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posted on March 15, 2003 05:17:26 PM new
And I want to add that the bad customers and incidents that I have had are few and far between. This is not a daily occurence for me at all.
Perhaps customer abuse is more difficult for many to understand if they haven't had a retail business or sold in a wide variety of categories on ebay.
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shop4shoes
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posted on March 15, 2003 06:16:35 PM new
Sounds like another feminazi attitude trying to come through, shop4shoes played a dangerous game and luckily may get away with out any real face time from her customer.
That is your fear of not being able to handle your own situations. If your knees are knocking together, don't project on others.
I have done "face time" with poeple that make this lady look like a drop of water. I don't peek around corners hoping someone else will look after me or stand up for me.
Feminazi...Geez...who is parroting others now? Where can I meet one of these feminazis? Inside the mind of Pat Buchannen?
What were your thoughts as he was chasing you with the ax? I bet it wasn't "Damn I am glad I got the better of him"
Her thoughts were probaly similar to the ones I had when I wlaked in on a burglary in my home. He was rifling through my refrigerator and had a knife in his hand. I was surprised. Fear...not even. I picked up a fireplace poker and hit him several times. He managed to get out the back door. I called 911.
The customer may not always be right, but that is no reason to be unprofessional..
Here we go again with that customer crap: If you don't buy anything you ain't a customer.
Customer: one that purchases a commodity or service.
My profession is selling apparel and footwear, not being a whipping boy.
The Internet has made it too easy for people to say things to others they wouldn't say face to face....this is a prime example of that type of situation...
The only thing this is a prime example of, is how tough talkers on internet boards will not face up to bullies in the real world so they claim others won't either. Once again, you are projecting your inability to confront outside the cyberworld onto others.
Very few people, male or female will spark confrontation when the person is face to face with them.
WHEW! That statement is a real example of not living in the "real world".
is it worth your life or your family's for some mean spirited words in an email?
I hear those knees knocking again. Is it worth your life to drive your car on a busy freeway? Is it worth your life to fly on an airplane? Is it worth your life to walk the streets? Is it work your life to cross a busy street? Is it worth your life to step outside your house?
The chances of being killed in an accident are nearly 500% greater than that of being murdered. Someone dies accidentally every 6 minutes. Someone is murdered every 29 minutes.
But trying to turn the dissenters into people who don't understand that some women can take control is pure BS, shop4shoes had no control the minute she pressed "send"
As usual the REAL BS on this board came from you.
Not at all. I was raised to "always be nice".
I think most people are raised that way. You are still nice. You just don't let people push you around.
Some people are natural born victims. We just aren't among that number.
[ edited by shop4shoes on Mar 15, 2003 06:39 PM ]
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trai
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posted on March 15, 2003 06:36:39 PM new
I just love strong willed woman. 
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shop4shoes
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posted on March 15, 2003 06:40:56 PM new
trai: Did you draw that? I like it.
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trai
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posted on March 15, 2003 06:45:00 PM new
Ha! I wish I could draw that well. No such luck. I just find these little darlings here and there.LOL
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Twelvepole
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posted on March 15, 2003 07:36:14 PM new
My thoughts when he chased me were that I wasn't going to allow him to kill me so I turned my rage on him and he left the shop as I totally freaked at him. Not sure if it was the correct thing to do but it worked.
As any good self defense class will teach...
Shop4shoes, I am glad you are able to take care of yourself in situations like that... you and Kiara are exceptions to the rule and not the norm, feel glad that your "courage" ,which seems to outwiegh common sense, has not allowed you to be harmed...
My knees knock... everytime I catch a chill...that is the only time, having gone through some shooting incidents myself and major accidents.... I find that nothing really bothers me anymore, except maybe running out of beer... 
It is nice to see women not playing the victim, but when you asked to be hurt... don't complain when it does happen.
AIN'T LIFE GRAND...
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trai
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posted on March 15, 2003 07:42:52 PM new
I find that nothing really bothers me anymore, except maybe running out of beer
Yeah, that can be a problem. Oh how we suffer, life can be so cruel! LOL
[ edited by trai on Mar 15, 2003 07:44 PM ]
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shop4shoes
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posted on March 15, 2003 07:44:43 PM new
I find that nothing really bothers me anymore, except maybe running out of beer
Well...I'll be...We have something in common after all...
It is nice to see women not playing the victim, but when you asked to be hurt... don't complain when it does happen.
That is like saying someone asked to be raped, because she (or he) wore high heels...
Off to find some beer and a steak.
[ edited by shop4shoes on Mar 15, 2003 07:45 PM ]
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Twelvepole
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posted on March 15, 2003 07:48:50 PM new
I like them more like this though...
AIN'T LIFE GRAND...
[ edited by Twelvepole on Mar 15, 2003 07:51 PM ]
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kiara
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posted on March 15, 2003 08:16:11 PM new
feel glad that your "courage" ,which seems to outwiegh common sense, has not allowed you to be harmed...
but when you asked to be hurt...
Typical statements/responses by someone who wasn't in the situation that we were in and didn't have to make a split second decision for survival.
trollpole, you hide behind your screen but by the time you get your first star for selling you may clue into what the world is like when it comes to customer service.
I like trai's pic also and that is his view of a strong-willed woman. You, on the other hand seem to prefer a bimbo, possibly one that you can assert your strength over. That's not to say that she doesn't have brains but the two pics are a world apart.
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hair2dye4
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posted on March 15, 2003 08:39:17 PM new
I needed a laugh thank you!! Man Shop4 shoes, I get were you are going and think it is funny, but do as banana says turn her in and maybe work too, but let go, it is so time consuming and may get reallly out of hand soon, I say just leave it now, you did what we all have wanted but get well the getting is good.Too many crazy people it really could be harmful, but Dang it was funny!!!
Sorry for your loss...
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trai
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posted on March 15, 2003 08:44:15 PM new
I like this strong willed darling even better.
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meadowlark
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posted on March 15, 2003 09:08:28 PM new
twleve,
Umm.. I doubt you noticed, but your lady is cross-eyed.
Patty
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kiara
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posted on March 15, 2003 11:45:22 PM new
Since this can be a learning experience for us all I suggest that both men and women read this page.
http://eserver.org/bs/22/rentschler.html
I would like twelvepole to read it and then come back and tell shop4shoes and I how we were "asking to be hurt" and how our "courage outweighed our common sense".
Should I have cowered and wimpered and begged like my supplier was doing? Should I have acted calm and professional and asked him what his intent was and if he knew an axe could do harm? Maybe I should have worked my way around the room to the back where the phone was and dialed 911? This would have been very far from my nearest escape route, the front door.
Seems like most women who fight back with rage or force are the survivors. If the initial adrenaline rush is turned into anger and power, a person has a better chance of survival.
I read some other sites also and now I feel even better about what I did. It's always easy for someone else to say what should have been done but remember that decisions have to be made in split seconds. I acted on instinct, the instinct to survive.
And I have had to do this several times in my life. I won't change the way I handle it, I doubt I could. I doubt shop4shoes will either.
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grumpyebayer
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posted on March 15, 2003 11:51:36 PM new
Well...I'll be...We have something in common after all...
It's your turn now Twelvepole. Ask her out. I smell a romance blossoming....
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hair2dye4
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posted on March 16, 2003 12:15:39 AM new
Kiara and Shop4shoes, I am sorry I took to long to post before by the time I posted I missed much of the conversation, now I find myself thanking you both for some very valuable information that I really needed today, this thread started as one person venting and has possibly changed a life for the better...
Thank you!
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zircon4
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posted on March 16, 2003 04:34:06 AM new
Kiara,
You and shop4shoes do not need to defend yourself to the detracters here. I have been involved in martial Arts for 20 years. I have been teaching for 5 years. My wife ( also a black belt)and I currently run self defense courses in my town. ( Mostly attended by women!) Common sense is the key here. Not all confrontations can be handled in a peaceful manner unfortunately. When a confrontation becomes violent, a decisive and determined response is by far the most effective. For those that are interested here is a link with some excellent information. http://www.protectivestrategies.com/index.html And Randy is geographically a little closer than we are.
zircon4
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Twelvepole
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posted on March 16, 2003 06:30:09 AM new
Kiara, I wasn't talking to you about courage, you acted appropriately for the situation, you had an actual threat in your face... shop4shoes on the other hand did not and only had words in her face...
If this person was a crazy and came after her, fine... she claims she can handle that... but I am willing to bet there are far more women and men out there that would delight in sending back such a blistering email, and then if the person did confront them face to face would find themselves injured or even worse...
In this day in age of serial killers and just plain getting shot going to a store, why try to bring trouble to you? As you know Kiara it can come whether you asked for it or not...
Shop4shoes, you got an nice vent letter out and got some frustration worked out... good for you... but hopefully some other people won't be doing what you did because the consequences can be a little more than bargined for.
AIN'T LIFE GRAND...
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Twelvepole
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posted on March 16, 2003 06:33:16 AM new
Umm.. I doubt you noticed, but your lady is cross-eyed.
She has eyes? Oh, well by golly I guess she does... 
Trai I like her too....
AIN'T LIFE GRAND...
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merrie
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posted on March 16, 2003 07:14:56 AM new
Having recently lost my father, I believe part of your rage is due to your recent loss. I have been a lot more "cranky" and short of patience since his death. It is a normal reaction. Everything is blown out of proportion, nothing is good enough, everything appears worse than it would have a month ago. Sorry for your loss. Meredith
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Twelvepole
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posted on March 16, 2003 09:03:50 AM new
I had a death in my family about 4 days into the auction.
My condolences also...
[ edited by Twelvepole on Mar 17, 2003 08:56 AM ]
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dejapooh
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posted on March 17, 2003 07:37:50 AM new
Monty Python had a song in their movie, the meaning of life...
"Isn't awfully nice to have a peni$"
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shop4shoes
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posted on March 17, 2003 08:18:43 AM new
My condolences also...
Thank you Twelvepole and everyone else for you kind words.
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jefflh12
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posted on March 18, 2003 04:38:44 AM new
.....C'mon Shop4shoes...what was your response?...I'm having trouble sleeping at night...Pleeeeeeeease!!!!!
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jefflh12
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posted on March 18, 2003 05:49:31 AM new
Shop4shoes...Did you respond yet? Don't keep us in suspense, precious sleep time being lost here!!...Can't wait to hear...
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tomyou
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posted on March 18, 2003 07:23:34 AM new
Bottom line is if you would have blocked her from the begining and just ignored the e-mail you would have saved yourself all the anger and frustration and been the only adult in this situation. This is not a case of being "pushed around" but more like two twelve year olds having to have the last word. getting into a "tit for tat" e-mail war is childish and ridiculous and has no end until finaly someone decide to be an adult and move on.
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kiara
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posted on March 18, 2003 08:02:04 AM new
Thanks for posting that, zircon4. It's a good site with excellent info.
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grumpyebayer
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posted on March 18, 2003 08:57:14 AM new
tomyou, did you even read the entire thread before posting.
Why should shop4shoes block a potential bidder from the beginning that asked a fairyly reasonable question?
I din't see any tit-for-tat. Where did you see that? Shop4shoes responded one time in anger. Or do you have inside information that we don't.
There is nothing wrong with the way shop4shoes reated. There was nothing childish about it. If adults decided to "move on" everytime something bothered them civil attorneys would be out of business.
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tomyou
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posted on March 18, 2003 10:37:59 AM new
"If adults decided to "move on" everytime something bothered them civil attorneys would be out of business"
And this would be a bad thing ??
Civil attorneys are a big reason for a lot of the problems today. Why do you think insurance rates are skyrocekting and yes even the prices of goods go up everytime someone burns there lip on a hot coffee and decides they need 5 million in damages for it. believe it or not everything does not require or need litigation but this is the world we have created.
yes I did read the post and even the first thread indicates 3 e-mails. Once the third one was recived and using that tone it became clear what direction it was going and that is when I would have blocked the e-mail and the bidder. If you call responding to a profanity laced e-mail with another one adult then that is your opinion.
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grumpyebayer
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posted on March 18, 2003 11:05:44 AM new
yes I did read the post and even the first thread indicates 3 e-mails.
Yes it does and two of them were fine. You said Bottom line is if you would have blocked her from the begining..... Not after the 3rd email.
Civil attorneys are a big reason for a lot of the problems today. Why do you think insurance rates are skyrocekting and yes even the prices of goods go up everytime someone burns there lip on a hot coffee and decides they need 5 million in damages for it. believe it or not everything does not require or need litigation but this is the world we have created.
My isurance has not skyrocketed. It keeps going down and I live in one of the most litigious places on this planet. FRAUD pure and simple is the main cause of insurance hikes.
If you call responding to a profanity laced e-mail with another one adult then that is your opinion.
To quote a beloved poster on these boards: That's my opinion and everyone is entitled to it.
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