posted on January 23, 2001 05:34:45 PM new
Why does Preperation H come to mind??
Rectal itch...
(Barry, I'm gonna nickname you Barry (zinger) Barris! )
debtrek & Bunnicula, great stories! I have a similar experience with our cat Kiki. The vet said she just had some sort of virus, but I wouldn't give up. I had to force feed her water and liquid food and I sang to her too. She went on to live to the ripe old age of 13.
posted on January 23, 2001 08:25:50 PM new
Chocolate Bon Bons eaten during a Romantic Evening in front of a roaring fire while stretched out on an imitation Bear Rug...
posted on January 23, 2001 09:51:51 PM new
Watkins Ale
Warning! A bawdy Elizabethan song follows:
As Watkine walked by the way,
he met a las, and made her stay.
faire maide, quoth he, go you with me,
and Watkins ale I will give the.
She did not him denie,
but went forth merely,
and thanked him hartely,
for his good merry tale.
Watkin perceaving than,
that she did love a man,
with pleasant talk began
to walke along the dale
They slipped aside cleane out of sight;
what they did more, let Venus wright;
but as it seemed by poettes tale,
he gave her well of Watkins ale.
She said to Watkin lovingly:
whate ale is this which comes soe free?
tys Watkings ale, doe you not know,
tys now abroach, and layd full low.
yf Watkings ale be such,
I cannot drink too much,
I like so well the touch,
It is worthy of good sale:
Suger and claret wine,
malmsey and musketdine,
there tast is not so fine
as my sweet Watkings ale.
Watking, give me more of the same,
I like so well of this same game:
Ambroso with his fine flood,
nor Nextus drinke seeme halfe so good.
The mylkmayde went home merely,
and sunge for ioy with mirth and gle,
that she had sped of Watkings ale;
but marke the sequall of my tale:
ere fortye weekes was past,
this maide she went vnlaste;
she sweld beneath the waste,
her kirtle grew to shorte.
she sighed and sayde: alas!
how comes this geare to pass?
I am not as I was,
all spoyld is our sporte,
So lonng he fishe snaps at the baite,
she taken is by subtell sleyght,
Watkins ale and pleasant sporte,
that brought one in fooles paradice.
Where got you this? her mother saide.
at Watkings ale, whereas I stayde.
Is watkins ale of such force,
my daughter must goe seeke a nurce.
Watkins ale was so stronng,
I think it went not wronnge;
well spiced with pech lonnge,
Beaten in morter well,
hys ale most pleasant is;
with many a loving kisse,
he strikes to hit or miss,
my Watkings did excell.
Of Watking ale I tooke a pull,
that I have drunke my belly full;
the proverbe old, as I do thinke:
such ale I brew, such must I drinke.
Hath Watkings ale thus me betrayde,
I can no longer be a maide;
our maides and younge men storm at me,
as though the like could never be.
take heed, you silly fooles,
deale not in Venus scholes,
nor yet with Watkins tooles;
his ale full strong will rise.
buy not, before you cheape;
looke in time, before you leape.
Argoes was slayne a sleape
with all his hundred eyes.
My frend Watking hath such a lure,
he will your hartes to love procure,
and tell you many a faire tale,
tyll he hath given you of his ale.
Watking, my love from me is gone;
now for his sake I will trust none.
I may bewaile my great mishapp,
I have to shew within my lapp.
when my sweete babie crye,
I may singe lullabye.
she therefor hath this; why,
you lassis, consider,
make you no scorne at me;
you doe not know, perdie,
what chaunce maye fortune thee,
when you playe to gether.
my Watkinge was a livelie lade,
I was my owne that Watkinge had;
thus have you hard my merye tale.
I thanke Watkinge for his good ale.
)
