posted on December 18, 2002 01:21:32 PM new
Some deadbeats have incredibly vivid imaginary lives. This one is almost kind of sweet, really. Can't you see the international travel on Concorde...the mahogany-panelled libraries full of leather-bound books...the stylish business attire and snappy Prada handbag?
---
12 December 2002
Madams and/or Sirs,
I write to ask your indulgence concerning purchases made by K***** H***** on behalf of our clients. I have made arrangements that the Firm will pay you by the week's end.
Please be aware that Ms. H***** suffered a life-threatening miscarriage on Monday, 24 November 2002 while at the Firm's London office and remains hospitalized. It is a time of great sadness for Ms. H*****‚ family and for us at the Firm. We very much had wished for the healthy arrival of our new associate.
Thank you for patience.
Sincerely,
S**** A*****
Finance Director and General Counsel
D** T***** H*****
In Service to Design Professionals
Architecture, Engineering, The Science and The Arts
Princeton
New York
London
Sydney
NEW JERSEY Headquarters
2** J****** Street
Trenton, New Jersey 08611
(phone number omitted)
INQUIRIES: d********@hotmail.com
---
Dear Mr. A*****,
Thank you for your kind letter of 12 December. We must confess that we are at a loss to comprehend why Ms. H***** was actively bidding on our items at the very time she was hospitalized in London with her tragic life-threatening condition.
Further, it is most curious, would you not agree, that there is not a single mention of your firm anywhere on the Web? That calls to the New Jersey office are answered by an answering machine of poor quality featuring a female voice? That there is no record extant of any such company as yours possessing offices in New York, London or Sydney?
Finally, let us congratulate you on your firm's keen interest in thrift. Reputable businesses have their own Internet domains; however, you have managed to save $50 or so a year by using one Hotmail address exclusively for every member of your firm. That must be confusing at times, keeping all those personas...er, persons, straight.
Our best wishes to Ms. H*****. Please express to her our sincere desire that she will recover from her condition, namely that of already having 5 negative feedbacks for non-payment.
Very truly yours,
fluffythewondercat
Principal
Dimwit, Deadbeat and Fluffy,
Attorneys at Law
posted on December 18, 2002 02:39:17 PM new
so many of us miss out on the fun...
thank you for sharing, fluffy, and for managing to steer the nutjobs away from our auctions while bravely drawing them towards yours.
posted on December 18, 2002 03:07:06 PM new
Fluffy, You are something else!!! I laughed so hard I almost choked to death. Whoever wrote the original letter ought to get a job writing for Hollywood or TV with that imagination. By the way, you didn't do so bad either. LOL
posted on December 18, 2002 05:40:47 PM new
Considering they said they'd have the payment sent at the end of the week don't you think you reacted harshly?
Without more details it's hard to say if it legit or not. Many firms are not on the web, and not all have great answering systems; It might be a new company that isn't listed. It would be quite embrassing if you made the wrong assumptions.
posted on December 18, 2002 05:54:51 PM new
quickdraw: This is stretching it some, even for you.
Yeah, right, an "international firm" has absolutely no references to it on Google, Lycos, Altavista, etc. That's just not possible. My little company brings up over 300 citations when I search on *that*.
Ergo, this "company" does not exist. There is no phone directory listing for it, by the bye. There is one, however, for Ms. H***** and guess what: it's the "company phone".
If you look at her bidder list it is obvious she is in way over her head and just trying to head off as many more negatives as she can.
I post these stories here because I enjoy a really good invention and figure others might, too.
posted on December 18, 2002 08:58:15 PM new
I am speechless. Will wonders never cease. Great response Fluffy and if I ever need any responses I will pay you to write them for me. Hey, you could go into business.
Have to admit that this is one of your better ones fluffy.