posted on September 13, 2001 01:09:12 PM new
I posted this in EO but it's probably not the right place. Just my thoughts and feelings from a proximity that is a little too close for comfort at the moment.
I'm glad I'm not the only one torn between watching the news and trying to tear myself away. Torn between getting on with my life and mourning the losses we have all suffered.
I live 35 miles outside of the city and watched dozens of emergency vehicles making their way past my home and office to the war zone that was once NYC in order to try and help the people that are trapped underneath a pile of rubble and will in all probability not be found alive.
I have stood in or at the base of those buildings dozens of times, driven past that skyline 100s of times in the five years since I made this area my home.
Over half of the working population in the surrounding county work in NYC. Of the 50,000 that ride the commuter rail every day, 1/3 of those are believed to work in the financial district.
While my husband and I have not experienced any personal loss we have neighbors and coworkers who's loved ones and friends haven't come home and most likely will not.
The NYC office of my company is in Penn Plaza, the guys from that office came here to work yesterday and spent most of the day counting casualties. We are the largest provider of data storage to the financial world, our customers have suffered significant losses in both human lives and tangible items.
Our largest competitor's regional headquarters occupied 3 floors of Tower 2. The local field sales office cannot confirm the loss they have suffered. Friendly competition is one thing, losing a competitor to a terrorist attack is another story altogether.
We now live in a world in which we are afraid to leave our homes, go to the movies, ride a rollercoaster for fear that an unknown attacker could be lurking nearby. We are no longer safe.
I'm angry, I'm scared, I'm stunned and I want to go back to the life I knew just a few days ago. I feel small and helpless and I don't want to feel that way but I don't know how not to. I'm sure I'm not the only one though. I keep getting emails to wear red, white and blue, to light candles, to wave flags. But none of that will change anything or make us feel safe again.
Sorry this is so long...once I started I just couldn't stop.
posted on September 13, 2001 02:45:17 PM new
I can understand your grief. It's only today that I've begun to emerge from the dark cloud of the past two days. Give yourself time. It doesn't matter that you didn't know anyone personally. You should still allow yourself to mourn. This has been an overwelming loss on many different levels. Try not to be so hard on yourself.
