posted on April 8, 2002 07:18:32 PM new Ah, thank you, Krafty, Iwas looking for a place to postsome loose-thread nonsense...
This is True:
** A man sued his doctor because he survived his cancer longer than the doctor predicted.
** Two robbers were in the process of their crime when one changed his mind and arrested the other.
** A woman had her husband's ashes made into an egg timer when he died so he could still "help" in the kitchen.
** Only 68 of 200 Anglican priests polled could name all Ten Commandments, but half said they believed in space aliens.
This is True is a weekly syndicated newspaper column by Colorado humorist Randy Cassingham. True reports on bizarre-but-true news items from legitimate newspapers from around the world (never "tabloids". Each story ends with commentary by Randy -- a tagline which is humorous, ironic or opinionated. An online pioneer, True has been publishing online weekly since June 1994.
And this is NEWS of the WEIRD:
Item: A 73-year-old Geneseo, Illinois woman was trapped by a spring-loaded newspaper vending machine in a Wal-Mart for 20 minutes until an employee volunteered to put another 50 cents in the machine to free her. - Moline Dispatch, 3-22-02
Item: Iraq appears to be preparing construction contracts in a serious bid to host the 2012 Olympics, according to a Washington Times report. - Washington Times, 3-5-02
Item: The Washington Department of Corrections admitted that a shortage of state facilities has forced it to house post-release sex offenders (those who have served their sentences but are at a high risk of recidivism) at hotels and motels around the state, without informing guests in adjacent rooms. - Everett Herald, 2-26-02
News of the Weird (c) 1999-2001 , Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.
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And now, a question: Have any of you ever played cow-pie bingo?
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Could someone please interpret this rule from eBay's "new and improved" Board Usage Policy?
"Only persons aged 18 or over may post to the boards, without regard to whether an adult actually owns the registration or parental/guardian permission."
Isn't one required to be an adult to register at eBay, period? Leave it to their legal dept. to institute a "fix" that's more ridiculous than the "problem" it is supposed to address.
posted on April 8, 2002 09:03:37 PM new
I'm a perfectionist neat freak trapped in a messy ,messy house. I live like a slob but hate every minute of it and it causes me an amazing amount of stress. Really.
posted on April 9, 2002 07:50:37 AM new
Well, every time I get the house super neat, hubby manages to bring home things to mess up my neat house. We have a big aquarium stand and aquarium in the middle of the living room now. He filled up my car with stuff that is too heavy for me to get out the day after I completely cleaned it. You have the right to an informed opinion -Harlan Ellison
posted on April 9, 2002 08:46:37 AM new
I don't mind clutter but it better be clean clutter. I don't like little grimy marks and dribbles. The other people in my life leave drips down the honey jar and down the side of the detergent bottle when they use them. It is like they are invisible to them. Little drips and spots of make up all over the sink and mirror. Sometimes I think I would rather just live alone.
posted on April 9, 2002 08:56:28 AM new
Rawbunzel, You said it best. I believe the majority of my stress is because I want things clean, but live with slobs who don't live up to my standards. I've learned to overlook and not complain, but it doesn't help the stress.
posted on April 9, 2002 10:18:41 PM new
Every so often I have to straighten up my desk area just to be able to find my scissors, stapler and such and sometimes I even find stuff that I had long ago forgoten that I had. I have some small shelves on my desk but they are all cluttered with stuff.
My cupboards in my kithchen are all filled with dishes and stuff that I use 20% of the time. The rest that I use 80% of the time are either in the sink, on the counter or in the dish dryer on top of the counter.
I live in a 35 foot travel trailer that has one bedroom that is filled with all my shipping supplies and some other stuff that I plan to sell someday. I also use my bedroom as my closet, I do hang up my clothes most of the time or I just dump the clean ones on a table that is in one corner. The dirty ones are in a pile on the floor.
My living room has a tip-out that really makes it roomier and I have a couch in the tip-out that converts into a bed.
I have piles of books, magazines, papers, vhs videos, casette tapes and cd's piled all over the place along with several stereos 2 of which I wired together so my tapes and cd's can be played through my amplified stereo. I have a large boombox speaker sitting on the floor under my tv that is hooked up so I can play my music real loud and rattle the windows.
I have several fishing rods along with several tackle boxes in one corner of the living room. There is a shotgun over the door and 5 or 6 shotgun shells on a table by the door.
I have an opened toolbox under my end table along with a partially taken apart carburetor and an old air filter.
I've lived here over a year now and I haven't vacuumed once, I don't even own a vacuum. I do keep the kitchen floor swept and the counters sorta clean. I clean the bathroom every so often.
My place is cluttered with all of this and more that I didn't even mention but I know where most of it is at any given time.
So you tell me am I a neat-freak or a slob. Anyways I am a confirmed bachelor and I like living the way that I do.
posted on April 10, 2002 03:28:34 AM new
I am just like rawbunzel. I want to be neat but just can't decide on the proper place for things. I saw a sign once that said "my house is clean enough to be healthy but messy enough to be happy". That's my house. Fiance is not domesticated except in cooking and will occasionally sweep the floor. I hardly ever go in our living room so it stays neat but gets very dusty. I hate to dust. My "office" on the other hand is a potpourri of stuff (papers, magazines, pc games, etc.) I just can't get motivated to clean it up. Our bedroom is not that big but my wardrobe is, so I have piles of clothes on the cedar chest. Neat piles. I have broken the closet rod 3 times. And shoes, boy do I have shoes. Ok enough rambling. Oh and did I mention that we have 5 cats and 2 dogs who have a never ending supply of loose fur? Whew, I'm done. Barbara
posted on April 12, 2002 11:21:36 AM new
I'm a sloppy perfectionist. I hate things like when people punch holes in paper and they don't get them lined up correctly, or if a packet of stuff is stapled and the corners aren't squared off. However, my bedroom could rival Oscar Madison's! We do keep our downstairs very clean and neat, though, so people don't think we're total slobs and we can escape from the mess upstairs if we want to!
I'm not so obsessive that EVERYTHING has to be perfect, but when I DO care about something (finances, etc.), I want it to be done well.
posted on April 12, 2002 11:28:40 AM new
Sorry to bump this, but I think your post was the funniest I've seen in a long time yellowstone! I love the details you gave. Hope you come back again!
Rawbunzel, you are on to something. Since Mr. Kraft "went on vacation", the house has never been cleaner and I feel like a million dollars. I think I even look younger too...
posted on April 12, 2002 02:16:17 PM new
My husband too, is on a two week vacation. The first three days he was gone, I cleaned all the bathrooms and washed all the towels hanging over the top of the shower doors. When I would get up in the morning, I just walked around the house marveling that everything was still clean and just as I left it.
Once, I told my grandson to put his dirty clothes in the hamper. He looked confused and didn't understand what a hamper was. (he was only three at the time) so I told him it was where we keep dirty clothes. His eyes lit up and he ran into my room and threw his dirty clothes on the floor of my husbands side of the bed on top of my husband's dirty clothes from the night before.
posted on April 12, 2002 08:43:00 PM new
Krafty, I know what you mean. When my first husband went on his "extended vacation" I felt an enormous sense of relief ~ I felt so light and free and young. It was great to be on my own.The mess was all my own and easily taken care of. Foolishly I got married again...to a bigger slob than the first one. I see why married men live longer and married women have shorter lives than their single counterparts.
this is not man bashing...I LOVE men, even my husband...I just don't like the mess they make.
edited for wishful thinking
[ edited by rawbunzel on Apr 12, 2002 08:44 PM ]
. Each story ends with commentary by Randy -- a tagline which is humorous, ironic or opinionated. An online pioneer, True has been publishing online weekly since June 1994.
I see why married men live longer and married women have shorter lives than their single counterparts.