posted on April 29, 2003 07:40:10 PM new
The Left's Glossary:
Words are power in motion. The war over words and how they're used by our society has become the new battleground of the Left. The primary tool in their arsenal is an effort to change the conventional meanings of words used in our daily communication. The morphing of our language is now the front line of the war on our culture and a powerful means for gaining political ground for the Left.
Just as many sports fans need a program to see who's who or what's what on the field, many citizens need a guide to understanding the Leftist lexicon. So, here's a brief primer into what the Left actually means when they say:
Advantaged, the: 1) Anyone who has a strong sense of self-responsibility, works hard for their money or pays taxes. 2) Anyone who believes in the American Dream. 3) White or Asian American.
Affirmative Action: Getting back at the Advantaged.
Affordable Housing: 1) Tax-supported housing, built by the government, that costs twice as much to build than if built by a typical builder, while simultaneously preventing new, for-profit housing construction. 2) A program that requires the Advantaged to spend their taxes to pay for the lifetime housing of couch potatoes and slackers.
Animal Rights: 1) The concept of the supremacy of animals' rights over those of humans. 2) The application of the U.S. Constitution to animals in their legal defense.
Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD): A new disease cured by taking bright kids bored to tears by the poor academic curriculum in our public schools and drugging them to death.
Basic Rights: New rights not found anywhere in the Constitution that include the right for slackers to get free food, free housing, free medical care and conjugal visits in prison, plus permission to deal drugs, defecate in the streets and aggressively panhandle, as well as get enough welfare money to trade their cars in every three years.
Conservative, a: 1) Anyone fighting the socialist aspirations of the radical Left or anyone who is either Advantaged or wants to be Advantaged. 2) A person proud to be an American, and one who holds ideals like honesty and morality and heralds individual rights over group rights. 3) Dumb taxpayers who love America.
Diversity: 1) Making sure we highlight and celebrate our different qualities and our hyphenated countries of origin, while still bashing America and, particularly, rejecting the idea that there is or should be any unity of thought or purpose of America. 2) Making sure we have, in all levels of government and corporations, a proportionate number of people of color and those of different sexual orientations, unless they are conservatives. Conservatives are not a part of diversity.
Environmentalism: 1) A way of stopping America's technological progress, farming practices, new housing and job creation. This is perpetrated by a cabal of both tassled-shoe lawyers (who have never actually stepped foot in a wilderness area) and scraggly neo-hippies.
2) Repeating the mantra that Republicans are "poisoning the air and water" to a gullible public.
3) An attempt by "progressives" to regress technologically by reestablishing the technology of the 19th century here in America.
Fascist, a: 1) Anyone who is not a Progressive
(see below). 2) People who believe in America's system of merit and capitalism. 3) Conservatives. (Note: Doesn't include Leftist genocidal tyrants who brutalize their people in nations throughout the world.) 4) George W. Bush.
Fetus, a: Tissue mass in a pregnant woman that often starts moving and kicking at two months of age.
Free Speech: 1) The ability to incite riots against America and its capitalist system by the use of hateful speech. 2) Speech that disparages the goals, purposes or ambitions of patriotic, taxpaying Americans.
Hate Speech: Speech by either the Advantaged or Conservatives that doesn't promote a socialist "progressive" agenda.
Homeless, the: Drifters, druggies, bums, winos, slackers and petty thieves.
Homeless Advocates: Leftists actually paid by taxpayers who lobby for more big government and movement toward a "progressive," socialist-nanny state.
Individual Rights: The concept espoused by confused and hapless taxpayers who actually believe their and their own family's well-being comes before those of Environmentalists, the Homeless and the beneficiaries of Animal Rights. 2) A major doctrine that terrifies Progressives.
Judgmental: As in, "Don't be judgmental." 1) Said of persons who can actually distinguish between right and wrong. 2) Said of those actually trying to use the aforementioned moral code publicly to restore order and decency in American policy. 3) Fascists (see above).
Left Winger, a: This term doesn't exist. Don't speak it or think it. You may have seen the term "right winger," as it's frequently used in connection with both political or religious leaders by the Left and their friends in the media, but you won't see "left winger." To the Left, there are only right wingers, dumb taxpayers and Progressives.
Mean Spirited: 1) Said of anyone who doesn't support brutal dictators around the world. 2) Said of anyone who loves America. 3) Said of anyone who doesn't buy into the entire socialist "progressive" agenda. 4) Said of talk-show hosts.
Multiculturalism: 1) The principle underlying any bashing ceremony against all things American by representatives of nations or ideologies foreign to America. 2) The foundation of being proud to be from a country while simultaneously demeaning America. An idea espoused particularly by persons who like to hyphenate their demographic categorization by using their country or continent of ancestral origin as a part of their identity. 3) The underpinning of any cultural event, ideology or celebration that weakens or denigrates the American spirit of unity. 4) The justification for resegregation both at school and work with separate race-based organizations, distinct graduation ceremonies, etc.
Oreo, an: A racist and derogatory term used by Progressives, but parroted with glee by the media, to indicate a black person who works hard to achieve or who doesn't think like a socialist bum.
Pacifist, a: A person who holds that the defense of no one's life -- or any idea, such as freedom -- is so dear that it rises to the level of "worth fighting for."
People of Color: The current politically correct appellation for minorities. We've come a long way since that very offensive term "colored people."
Poor, the: 1) Those who don't want a minimum-wage job, because they're too good for it, so they take the dole. 2) People who choose to have six children without caring about how they will afford them. 3) People who think America's taxpayers owe them Basic Rights (see above).
Progressive: 1) Socialist. (The word socialist became real unpopular after the fall of the Soviet empire and was quickly replaced by a more easily digested word.) 2) A cruel joke on the American people. A word intentionally meant to deceive the hapless taxpayer into believing that the "progressive" ideology is somehow related to real progress. In reality, progressive and progress are antonyms.
Progressives: 1) Those who advocate the slow, clandestine progress of big government and command-and-control socialism in America. 2) Liberal Democrats.
Racists: 1) Fascists (see above). 2) The Advantaged (see above). 3) White people.
Rich, the: Anyone not Poor (see above), i.e. "This is a tax cut for the rich."
Right Winger: Conservative (see above).
Tolerance: 1) The act of ignoring your inner moral code and just believing that anyone doing anything is OK, no matter what. 2) Does not apply to Conservatives, the Advantaged and Oreos (see above). 3) Applies to dictators committing genocide against their people.
Underrepresented Minority, an: A minority who isn't from a group that does too well in the classroom, like the Chinese or Japanese.
Undocumented Immigrant, an: 1) An illegal alien. Someone who entered the country illegally and continues to remain here unlawfully, frequently working in the underground economy or, alternatively, getting on the taxpayer-supported dole. 2) Anyone of those the Left uses as "useful idiots" to inflict their socialist agenda on America. 3) One of a class of people who must not be denied their Basic Rights (see above).
Victim, a: Anyone of the class of either vicious criminals that have been busted and have been victimized by a mean police officer during an arrest, or an Undocumented Immigrant who has been denied his or her Basic Rights and is now engaging in protests against America.
Working Class, the: Those who are either socialists, collect welfare, are unemployed or have a job but get paid under the table to avoid taxes. This category allows the Left to then say, "This tax rebate doesn't benefit the working class."
If moderates, Oreos and Conservatives -- the dumb taxpayers -- are ever to take back our country, we'll need to first take back our language.
"Philosophy is a battle against the bewitchment of our intelligence by means of language." --Ludwig Wittgenstein
posted on April 30, 2003 06:45:50 AM new
That was great! I love these humor threads! Here's one of my favorites, attributed to former Texas Governor Ann Richards:
21 Rules For Being a Good Republican
1. You have to believe that the nation's current 8 year prosperity was due to the work of Ronald Reagan and George Bush, but that yesterday's gas prices are all Clinton's fault.
2. You have to believe that those privileged from birth achieve success all on their own.
3. You have to be against government programs, but expect Social Security checks on time.
4. You have to believe that government should stay out of people's lives, yet you want government to regulate only same-gender marriages and what your official language should be.
5. You have to believe that pollution is ok, so long as it makes a profit.
6. You have to believe in prayer in schools, as long as you don't pray to Allah or Buddha.
7. You have to believe that only your own teenagers are still virgins.
8. You have to believe that a woman cannot be trusted with decisions about her own body, but that large multi-national corporations should have no regulation or interference whatsoever.
9. You love Jesus and Jesus loves you and, by the way, Jesus shares your hatred of AIDS victims, homosexuals, and President Clinton.
10. You have to believe that society is color-blind and growing up black in America doesn't diminish your opportunities, but you still won't vote for Alan Keyes.
11. You have to believe that it was wise to allow Ken Starr to spend $50 million dollars to attack Clinton because no other U.S. presidents have ever been unfaithful to their wives.
12. You have to believe that a waiting period for purchasing a handgun is bad because quick access to a new firearm is an important concern for all Americans.
13. You have to believe it is wise to keep condoms out of schools, because we all know if teenagers don't have condoms they won't have sex.
14. You have to believe that the ACLU is bad because they defend the Constitution, while the NRA is good because they defend the Constitution.
15. You have to believe that socialism hasn't worked anywhere and that Europe doesn't exist.
16. You have to believe the AIDS virus is not important enough to deserve federal funding proportionate to the resulting death rate and that the public doesn't need to be educated about it, because if we just ignore it, it will go away.
17. You have to believe that biology teachers are corrupting the morals of 6th graders if they teach them the basics of human sexuality, but the Bible, which is full of sex and violence, is good reading.
18. You have to believe that Chinese communist missiles have killed more Americans than handguns, alcohol and tobacco .
19. You have to believe that even though governments have supported the arts for 5000 years and that most of the great works of Renaissance art were paid for by governments, our government should shun any such support. After all, the rich can afford to buy their own and the poor don't need any.
20. You have to believe that the lumber from the last one percent of old growth U.S. forests is well worth the destruction of those forests and the extinction of the several species of plants and animals therein.
21. You have to believe that we should forgive and pray for Newt Gingrich, Henry Hyde and Bob Livingston for their marital infidelities, but that that bastard Clinton should be impeached.
If you can't answer a man's argument, all is not lost; you can still call him vile names.
- Elbert Hubbard
