posted on October 11, 2003 02:18:34 PM new
Wasn't sure if this was in the 'joke' thread.
What the heck
News Anchor Dan Rather, The Reverend Jesse Jackson, NPR Reporter Cokie Roberts, and an American Marine were hiking through the jungle one day when they were captured by cannibals.
They were tied up, led to the village and brought before the chief. The chief said, "I am familiar with your western
custom of granting the condemned a last wish. Before we kill and eat you, do you have any last requests?"
Dan Rather said, "Well, I'm a Texan; so I'd like one last bowlful of hot, spicy chili."
The chief nodded to an underling, who left and returned with the chili.
Rather ate it all and said, "Now I can die content."
Jesse Jackson said, "You know, the thing in this life I am proudest of is my work on behalf of the poor and oppressed. So before I go, I want to sing "We Shall Overcome" one last time."
The chief said, "Go right ahead, we're listening." Jackson sang the song, and then said, "Now I can die in peace."
Cokie Roberts said, "I'm a reporter to the end. I want to take out my tape recorder and describe the scene here and what's about to happen. Maybe someday someone will hear it and know that I was on the job
til the end."
The chief directed an aide to hand over the tape recorder, and Roberts dictated some comments. She then said, "Now I can die happy."
The chief turned and said, "And now, Mr. Marine, what is your final wish?"
"Kick me in the ass," said the Marine.
"What?" said the chief. "Will you mock us in your last hour?"
"No, I'm not kidding. I want you to kick me in the ass," insisted the Marine.
So the chief shoved him into the open, and kicked him in the ass.
The Marine went sprawling, but rolled to his knees, pulled a 9mm pistol from his waistband, and shot the chief dead. In the resulting confusion, he leapt to his knapsack, pulled out his M4 carbine, and sprayed the cannibals with gunfire. In a flash, the cannibals were dead or fleeing for their lives.
As the Marine was untying the others, they asked him, "Why didn't you just shoot them? Why did you ask them to kick you in the ass?"
"What!?" said the Marine, "And have you liberal Assholes call ME the aggressor?!?"
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posted on October 11, 2003 08:22:52 PM new
Linda! I forgot your sons are Marines, right? Good for them, I'm sure you are really proud of them!
I liked it.... my brother sent that to me, he's a 'conservative' meaning he is sick and tired of political correctness, and 'tiptoeing' round everything these days. its like you really have to think, 'am I going to offend a race, creed, religion, or type of tree if I say this?'
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posted on October 12, 2003 12:18:00 AM new
“'tiptoeing' round everything these days”??
Sure thing, everything except war and other MOST important issues.
Should political correctness be applied when there is risk of a factual statement being perceived as anti-American?
eg.
Bush and his daddy and a group dominated by persons with Jewish affiliations who promote a PNAC to further their own economic interests, have engaged in gross deception which have resulted in the deaths disfigurement and suffering of innocent people (including infants), and used their national troops to perform these abhorrent acts.
posted on October 13, 2003 06:45:08 AM new
twelvepole - Excuse me if I have this incorrectly, but 'the warriors' are the one's who actively search the web for Bush bashing articles. It's 'angry left' that just gets their panties in a bunch over every breath the President takes.
And miscreant has openly stated/proclaimed she is 'further left than helen'. I sure don't know how that's possible, but we're about to find out.
posted on October 13, 2003 07:05:45 AM new
Ahhh you are correct Linda... not a warroior per se, but an angry leftist... farther left than Helen? Wouldn't that put them on the right?
posted on October 13, 2003 08:19:49 AM new
This isn't anger. It is just pointing out how low conservitives will stoop. If anybody points out they are putting down a group they start whining about political correctness.
Linda. Searching for Bush bashing articles is too easy. I'd rather point out conservitive lies and how racist most are.
12. I sould not be on the right. I have compassion for people.
posted on October 13, 2003 08:59:38 AM new
Please miscreant, where oh where is anyone 'whining' in this JOKE?
for crying out loud. I told who sent it to me, but what is wrong with this joke?
You do remember what a JOKE is don't you?
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posted on October 13, 2003 09:11:17 AM new
Nothing is wrong with this joke. substitute Geraldo for Cokie and it would be funnier.
Here is a joke you might find funny.
GEORGE BUSH IS NOT STUPID CONVENTION
In the light of all the criticism that George Bush is an idiot, the Republicans decide to hold a "George Bush Is Not Stupid" convention. Eighty thousand Republicans meet in the Kansas City Chiefs Stadium.
Trent Lott says, "We are all here today to prove to the world that George Bush is not stupid. So ladies and gentlemen, let me introduce President George Bush."
After the cheers die down. Lott says "Mr. President, we're going to prove to the world once and for all that you are not stupid. So tell us, what is 15 plus 15?"
Bush, after scrunching up his face and concentrating real hard for a moment, declares, "Eighteen!"
Obviously everyone is a little disappointed. Then the 80,000 Republicans start cheering, "Give Bush another chance! Give Bush another chance!"
Trent Lott says, "Well since we've gone to the trouble of getting 80,000 of you in one place, I guess we can do that." So he asks, "What is 5 plus 5?"
After nearly 30 seconds of chin-rubbing and grimacing, Bush meekly asks "Ninety?"
Trent Lott is quite perplexed, looks down and just lets out a dejected sigh -- everyone is disheartened.
But then Bush starts pouting, and suddenly the 80,000 Republicans begin to yell and wave their hands, shouting again "Give Bush another chance! Give Bush another chance!"
Lott, unsure whether he's doing more harm than good, eventually says, "Ok! Ok! Just one more chance -- What is 2 plus 2?"
Bush looks down, counts on his fingers, and after a whole minute, proudly announces "Four."
A moment of total silence, then an electric charge surges through the stadium as pandemonium breaks out.
All 80,000 Republicans jump to their feet.
These GOP partisans start to wave their arms, stomp their feet and create a deafening roar:
"GIVE BUSH ANOTHER CHANCE! GIVE BUSH ANOTHER CHANCE!"
posted on October 13, 2003 09:33:15 AM new
LOL, miscreant. It was funny
I watch Letterman a lot late night, and he has a little thing called The George Bush 'not really a joke' Joke , and the way Letterman takes things from his speeches they are funny.
(but I still believe Cokie needs to remain in the joke above! )
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