posted on October 18, 2003 08:05:00 PM new
While walking out of Hillary Clinton's office one day an elected Democrat is tragically hit by an ACLU truck full of creches, crosses, and Ten Commandment monuments, and dies.
The Democrat's soul arrives in Heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance.
"Welcome to Heaven," says St. Peter. "Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see an elected official around these parts, let alone a Democrat, so we're not sure what to do with you."
"No problem, just let me in," says the Democrat.
"Well, I'd like to but I have orders from higher up. What we'll do is have you spend one day in Hell and one in Heaven. Then you can choose where to spend eternity," St Peter says.
"Really, I've made up my mind. I want to be in Heaven," says the Democrat.
"I'm sorry but we have our rules," St Peter says.
And with that, St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to Hell.
The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a beautiful green golf course with a big sign saying, "Welcome to Hell."
In the distance is a luxurious club house and standing in front of it are all his Democrat friends and politicians who had worked with him. Everyone is very happy and elegantly garbed in fancy evening dress.
The Democrats run to greet him, hug him, and reminisce about the good times they had while getting rich at the expense of the people when Bill Clinton was president.
They play a friendly game of golf and then amble over to the club house dining room to dine on lobster and caviar washed down with champagne.
Also present is the Devil, who really is a very friendly guy and is wearing a Hillary for President button. He is a wonderful host and joins in the dancing and telling jokes.
They are having such a good time that, before the Democrat realizes it, it is time to go.
All the other Democrats give him a big hug and wave while the elevator doors open. "Come back soon," they all laughed.
The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens on Heaven where St. Peter is waiting for him.
"Now it's time to visit Heaven," he says.
So the the Democrat joins a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp, and singing.
They are having a good time but, for a Democrat, it was very boring and the Demmocrat felt really threatened when the group started praying. "This is too much like being in a sectarian church," the Democrat grumbled. Before he realizes it, the 24 hours have gone by and St. Peter returns.
"Well then, you've spent a day in Hell and another in Heaven. Now choose where to spend eternity."
The Democrat reflects for a minute, then answers trying to be politically correct: "Well, I mean Heaven has been delightful, but after thinking it over, I think I would be better off in Hell."
So Saint Peter smiles and escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to Hell.
Now the doors of the elevator open and the Democrat is in the middle of a barren wasteland covered with garbage and discarded Elect Hillary Clinton for President signs. He sees all his friends, dressed in rags, picking up the trash, putting it in black bags, moaning and groaning.
The Devil comes over, glares at him, lays his arm on his neck, and hands him a stack of garbage bags.
"I don't understand," stammers the Democrat. "Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and club house and we ate lobster and caviar and danced and had a great time. Now all there is a garbage dump and my Democrat friends look so miserable."
The Devil looks at him, laughs his evil laugh, and says, "Yesterday we were campaigning. Today you voted for us!"
"Another plague upon the land, as devastating as the locusts God loosed on the Egyptians, is "Political Correctness.'" --Charlton Heston
"But if you want to avoid getting him really steamed, watch what you say about Ben-Hur. Author Gore Vidal, who helped write the screenplay, said a scene he wrote implied a teenage gay relationship between Chuck's character and another played by Stephen Boyd. Boyd knew the characters had a gay past, and in their big scene together he made goo-goo eyes at Chuck. But Chuck was clueless. Nobody told him because director William Wyler realized he would have a hissy fit if he knew.
Chuck has refused to believe any of this. He has insisted that Gore was barely involved in the movie. Gore proved him wrong, though, with an excerpt taken from Chuck's own autobiography.
"
http://home.earthlink.net/~zkkatz/page94.html
Are you 'under the sheets' with some of these men too bear???
posted on October 19, 2003 05:22:49 AM new
So what have you Done for Australia lately or ever? How long did you serve in their Military? What protests have attended against the Australian govt?
You have some nerve accusing someone of KKK activities considering how you people treat the Aborigonies...
posted on October 19, 2003 06:42:00 PM new
Austi, you need to go back to tending you sheep, they need someone of you mentality to relate to. If you spend as much time working to help Australia as you do bashing America, Australia might some day account for something...
Miscreant, return to the ebay postings & continue to search for the body parts you are missing....Or do I hear your mommy calling to tell you it's past your bed time...
"Another plague upon the land, as devastating as the locusts God loosed on the Egyptians, is "Political Correctness.'" --Charlton Heston
[ edited by BEAR1949 on Oct 19, 2003 06:51 PM ]
posted on October 19, 2003 07:14:18 PM new
Well 12, since you are so worried about someones military record, what do you think of this one. 14 months AWOL in a time of war, which is enough to get classified and court marshalled as a deserter. Does this disgust you or would you be alright with this individual. Seems like deserting your duty in war is a terrible thing isn't it?
Gee bear I was only trying to help you in finding what you seem to like. Are you busy searching for more jokes about conservitives you can convert to jokes about liberals?
posted on October 19, 2003 07:23:19 PM new
miscreant, I'm lost here, stumbled on to this thread.. if 12 served in the military, which I believe he did, I'm not sure what somone that goes AWOL has anything to with anything. I know someone that went AWOL, and I think it was the most stupid thing he did, and it was not during wartime. But what does going AWOL have to do with anything?
just curious here
Wanna Take a Ride? Art Bell is Back! Weekends on C2C-www.coasttocoastam.com
posted on October 19, 2003 08:16:54 PM new
Now now, miscreant, mustn't blame old BEAR, he has many "friends" who forward him all this junk. He probably didn't realize the joke was originally written about Republicans...
Going AWOL is the most chicken-sh*t thing a serviceman or woman can do IMO. I'm sure 12 agrees.
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In this world of sin and sorrow, there is always something to be thankful for; as for me, I rejoice that I am not a Republican. -- H.L. Mencken
posted on October 19, 2003 08:21:14 PM new
Prof, The political jokes on the internet are so plagerized back and forth it is impossible to tell who it was first about. I have seen one page where the title was about Democrats and the jokes were all about republicans.
posted on October 20, 2003 10:24:19 AM new
Prof, If I had been around as long as you & had to use carbon dating to determine how old I was like you do, I guess I may have heard this joke about republicans.
"Another plague upon the land, as devastating as the locusts God loosed on the Egyptians, is "Political Correctness.'" --Charlton Heston
posted on October 21, 2003 12:09:07 PM newProf, If I had been around as long as you & had to use carbon dating to determine how old I was like you do, I guess I may have heard this joke about republicans.[
There's no substitute for experience
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In this world of sin and sorrow, there is always something to be thankful for; as for me, I rejoice that I am not a Republican. -- H.L. Mencken
