BEAR1949
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posted on October 19, 2003 07:03:58 PM new
You think "ethics" is an eastern European country.
You've named your kids with hyphenated first and last names.
You've tried to argue that poverty could be abolished if people were only willing to redistribute their wealth.
You've ever referred to someone as a "bigot or Nazi".
You've ever tried to prove Jesus was a married man.
You oppose the death penalty, but support abortion.
You don't support school choice for others, only for yourself.
You think you might remember laughing once as an adult and feeling guilty about it.
You once broke loose at a party and inhaled, but don't admit it.
You support diversity, as long as others agree with you.
You've referred to moral fiber thinking it was a new man made textile.
You've ever uttered the phrase, "you hypocrite".
You've ever said, "the Bill Of Rights is outdated".
You answer to "No One".
You support PETA and Green Peace, but still eat beef, fish, lamb,and wear leather garments.
You protest your neighbor clearing their yard of weeds.
You only let your kids watch PBS and listen to NPR.
You scream at the thought of agreeing with a Republican.
You've argued that Western values are no values.
You agree that all the world's problems can be traced back to white Anglo-Saxon men taking advantage of others.
When people say "Marx," you think, "to bad his idea didn't work".
You've ever yelled, "capitalist".
You still wear the Birkenstocks you purchased in 1969.
You argue that you need 300 laws to control guns.
You really think that guns kill people. Not people kill people.
You want to protest something but don't know what.
You've ever said "I support civil liberties, but not personal liberties."
You will not admit that trees are a renewable resource.
You've ever said "reduce paper, save a tree".
You donate money because it makes you "feel good".
You came of age in the '60s and don't understand what went wrong.
You justify lying cheating Democrats because Republicans lie and cheat.
You ever start or end an argument on the phrase, "you are closed minded".
You never told a child that Oscar the Grouch "lives in a trashcan" because he chooses to do so.
You think denial is a virtue.
You don't mind contributing 4 months of your salary to the government.
You're only sorry it can't be more.
You believe that everyone else is responsible for you but you.
"Another plague upon the land, as devastating as the locusts God loosed on the Egyptians, is "Political Correctness.'" --Charlton Heston
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miscreant
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posted on October 19, 2003 07:18:57 PM new
You Might Be A Republican If...
You think "proletariat" is a type of cheese.
You've named your kids "Deduction one" and "Deduction two"
You've tried to argue that poverty could be abolished if people were just allowed to keep more of their minimum wage.
You've ever referred to someone as "my (insert racial or ethnic minority here) friend"
You've ever tried to prove Jesus was a capitalist and opposed to welfare.
You're a pro-lifer, but support the death penalty.
You think Huey Newton is a cookie.
The only union you support is the Baseball Players, because heck, they're richer than you.
You think you might remember laughing once as a kid.
You once broke loose at a party and removed your neck tie.
You call mall rent-a-cops "jack-booted thugs."
You've ever referred to the moral fiber of something.
You've ever uttered the phrase, "Why don't we just bomb the sons of bitches."
You've ever said, "I can't wait to get into business school."
You've ever called a secretary or waitress "Tootsie."
You answer to "The Man."
You don't think "The Simpsons" is all that funny, but you watch it because that Flanders fellow makes a lot of sense.
You fax the FBI a list of "Commies in my Neighborhood."
You don't let your kids watch Sesame Street because you accuse Bert and Ernie of "sexual deviance."
You scream "Dit-dit-ditto" while making love.
You've argued that art has a "moral foundation set in Western values."
When people say "Marx," you think "Groucho."
You've ever yelled, "Hey hippie, get a haircut."
You think Birkenstock was that radical rock concert in 1969.
You argue that you need 300 handguns, in case a bear ever attacks your home.
Vietnam makes a lot of sense to you.
You point to Hootie and the Blowfish as evidence of the end of racism in America.
You've ever said civil liberties, schmivil schmiberties.
You've ever said "Clean air? Looks clean to me."
You've ever called education a luxury.
You look down through a glass ceiling and chuckle.
You wonder if donations to the Pentagon are tax-deductable.
You came of age in the '60s and don't remember Bob Dylan.
You own a vehicle with an "Ollie North: American Hero" sticker.
You're afraid of the liberal media."
You ever based an argument on the phrase, "Well, tradition dictates...."
You ever told a child that Oscar the Grouch "lives in a trash can because he is lazy and doesn't want to contribute to society."
You've ever urged someone to pull themselves up by their bootstraps, when they don't even have shoes.
You confuse Lenin with Lennon.
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koto1
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posted on October 22, 2003 11:54:59 AM new
LOL LOL
"Who's tending the bar?  Sniping works up a thirst"
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