posted on November 21, 2003 03:15:19 PM new
Not to be outdone by all the redneck, hillbilly, & Texan jokes...
1. Your coworker has 8 body piercings and none are visible.
2. You make over $300,000 and still can't afford a house.
3. You take a bus and are shocked at two people carrying on a conversation in English.
4. Your child's 3rd-grade teacher has purple hair, a nose ring, and is named Breeze.
5. You can't remember...is pot illegal?
6. You've been to a baby shower that has two mothers and a sperm donor.
7. You have a very strong opinion about where your coffee beans are grown, and you can taste the difference between Sumatran and Ethiopian.
8. You know which restaurant serves the freshest arugula.
9. You can't remember...is pot illegal?
10. A really great parking space can totally move you to tears.
11. A low speed police pursuit will interrupt ANY TV broadcast.
12. Gas costs $1.00 per gallon more than anywhere else in the U.S.
13. A man gets on the bus in full leather regalia and crotchless chaps. You don't even notice.
14. Unlike back home, the guy at 8:30am at Starbucks wearing the baseball cap and sunglasses who looks like George Clooney really IS George Clooney.
15. Your car insurance costs as much as your house payment.
16. Your hairdresser is straight, your plumber is gay, the woman who delivers your mail is into S & M, and your Mary Kay rep is a guy in drag.
17. You can't remember...is pot illegal?
18. Its barely sprinkling rain and there's a report on every news station: "STORM WATCH 2003."
19. You have to leave the big company meeting early because Billy Banks himself is teaching the 4:00pm Tae Bo class.
20. You pass an elementary school playground and the children are all busy with their cells or pagers.
21. It's barely sprinkling rain outside, so you leave for work an hour early to avoid all the weather-related accidents.
22. Hey!!!! Is Pot Illegal????
23. Both you AND your dog have therapists.
24. The Terminator is your governor.
"Another plague upon the land, as devastating as the locusts God loosed on the Egyptians, is "Political Correctness.'" --Charlton Heston
[ edited by BEAR1949 on Nov 21, 2003 03:17 PM ]
posted on November 21, 2003 06:17:49 PM new
::14. Unlike back home, the guy at 8:30am at Starbucks wearing the baseball cap and sunglasses who looks like George Clooney really IS George Clooney. ::
Back when I lived up in LA my partner and I would meet every morning at a coffee house near the Warner Brothers lot. The first hour of our work day was spent sitting outside drinking coffee, making our game plan for the day. There were always various well knowns coming in. Thinking back, the only things that really impressed me was how incredibly short Henry Winkler really is (barely over 5 feet) and how huge and what a sweethear Mike Starr (The Body Guard, Goodfellas and about 50 others) really is. He has an amazing physical presence, he should be on The Sopranos.
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If it's really "common" sense, why do so few people actually have it?
posted on November 21, 2003 06:59:50 PM new
I used to take my dog to a dog park up in the Hollywood Hills, off of Mullholland Dr., and people would stand around yakking about their dogs & this-and-that. One day, after one of the group left to take his dogs home, I turned to the others and said "Isn't it amazing how much that guy looks like Richard Chamberlain?" The others looked at me in disbelief & said "He IS Richard Chamberlain!"
Celebrities of all levels were often in the park with their dogs. Censorship, like charity, should begin at home; but unlike charity, it should end there --Clare Booth Luce
posted on November 21, 2003 09:23:48 PM new
Bunni - is that the old hiking park? The one with the cut into the "rough" off to the left when you first enter it and the amazing overhang where you can see all of LA? Beautiful place
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If it's really "common" sense, why do so few people actually have it?
posted on November 21, 2003 09:46:07 PM new
It may have been. When I started going there, it had been "rescued"--I was told that it had been a gathering place for druggies & gang members until dog owners turned it into a dog park. :c) I wouldn't call the view amazing, though. The park dipped down into a hollow from the parking area & entry gate, with trees & brush surrounding the other three sides. Of course, , we weren't there to look at the view--we pretty much concentrated on our dogs. Censorship, like charity, should begin at home; but unlike charity, it should end there --Clare Booth Luce
posted on November 21, 2003 11:00:39 PM new
OK - we are thinking of different areas. The area I was talking about is a few square miles of hills that were donated by someone rich and famous whose name I cannot remember to save my life with the provision that it not be developed other than walking and hiking paths. There are two main paved paths for dogs and walkers and I think two cut paths up into the brush area for the more adventurous crew. Part of the land butts right up against one of the drop offs. I've seen that spot used for more than a couple movie shots of LA at dusk and night - it's a picture perfect view.
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If it's really "common" sense, why do so few people actually have it?
posted on November 28, 2003 12:45:53 AM new
*cries* Making fun of me *sniff*
1. If you ask they'll show you !
2. $300,000 can afford you one FUGLY Apartment in an old building. Or a nice shack with bullet holes and broken windows, you know the classic "Perfect for first time home buyers"
3. Actually I've seen people speak English on the bus. HOWEVER it was in front of a college campus.
4. Actualy her name is Autumn. Breeze is her middle name.
5. Studies now show Glaucoma is reaching epidemic proportions to California residents reaching people as young as their teens. If you are suffering or think you may in the future and would like to start treatment NOW you can get a prescription at the end of any local dark alley. Cash only. Is pot illegal?
6. I've been to a baby shower with NO MOTHERS just a DAD and another DAD
7. Sumatran has a deeper more earthy flavor as Ethiopian is darker and a bit spicier.
8. McCormicks & Schmicks has the best Arugula. Theirs is a tart/bitter variety. Other Restaurants seem to be serving a blander probably "hybrid" type of arugula.
9. My best friend in high schools' parents cultivate in a fish tank in a closet I dunno is pot Illegal?
10. I about cried when I found the perfect spot cuz a guy came up to me with a ticket. $9 for the first 20 minutes $3 each 20 minutes after.
11. They had to down grade to low speed chases when the high speed chase driver blew his brains out on LIVE TV in the middle of interupting after school programming. Never understood why children's programming was ever interupted in the first place with live action real crimes in the first place!
12. Its only 95 cents more than the rest of the US if you go to AM/PM. That gas station must make up the difference in beer case sales and pot rolling papers.
13. Full leather regalia and assless chaps. Which one?? The Hollywood line or the West Hollywood line? I guess I didn't notice either.
14. Even weathly stars can be tightwads. You ever look at the prices and think to your self........ for coffee?? He's there for the all you can drink free coffee.
17. Within 10 minutes of meeting my boyfriends mother (now mother in law) she lights up and offers me a hit off the pipe. So I'm confused...........is pot illegal?
18. Um yeah, like TOTALLY! I'd totally die if like a sprinkle of rain ever touched my overpriced designer clothes. I heard that devastating storm which was like something like 1/48th of an inch happened like during a MAJOR Hollywood opening night. OH MY GOD I saw like little drops of rain on like 20 celebraties as I screamed at the TV RUN!! DON'T RUIN THAT VERSACI!
20. Um like YEAH! I wouldn't want MY KID to miss a call from her agent. Those Gap kid models are like 10 now so I want my 6 year old to get in now cuz 7 is too late to get a good contract.
21. Of course you gotta leave early. Someone like told that guy in front of me on the freeway that you like have to go like 10 miles an hour if it starts to like rain and stuff. Noone told the guy in front of him and he like caused a 20 car pile up. Now if it were like real rain like a WHOLE INCH and not like sprinkles then I'd have to leave 2 hours early or just like stay home in the first place.
23. My dogs therapist told my therapist that he is unhappy about the food we give him. He wants Chicken and not beef. He wants the chickens to be free range and not hen house chickens in his all natural organic dog food from Hollistic pets on Santa Monica Blvd. He is also unhappy with the way we talk to him. Apparently he doesn't appreciate doggy talk and would like more intelligent conversation about art history. Our therapists both think that with 12 more sessions at $300 each in a group session we can work this all out and come to a compromise.
[ edited by lovepotions on Nov 28, 2003 01:06 AM ]
posted on November 28, 2003 09:42:49 AM new
Henry Winkler is only barely over five feet tall? He hides it well. A friends brother came up from LA for a visit many years ago and he was a hairdresser. He did the singer known as Prince hair once and he said Prince was only about five feet tall and tiny. There was a recent news article that said Prince has now found religion, that he and his bass player and going door-to-door in Detroit and handing out ( selling? ) Jehovah's Witnessess literature. A sex machine no more.
Here's a list of short actors I found on the usenet
Tom Cruise 5"4
Danny Devito 5" ft. nothing
Michael J. Fox 5"4
Richard Dreyfuss 5"8
Joe Pesci 5"2
Dana Carvey 5"4
Henry Winkler 5"4
Billy Crystal 5"7
Al Pacino 5"6
Dustin Hoffman 5"4
The Freak Formerly Known as Prince 5"2
-------------- sig file ----------- *There is no conclusive evidence that life is serious*
, we weren't there to look at the view--we pretty much concentrated on our dogs.