posted on January 28, 2004 07:27:23 AM new
Hi everyone! I made a New Year`s Resolution to get myself more educated on the topic of personal safety. I recently read a book called "A Girl`s Gotta Do What a Girl`s Gotta Do: The Ultimate Guide to Living Safe & Smart" by Kathleen Baty (aka "The Safety Chick". The book talks about how to keep yourself safe in various situations - going out at night alone, making sure your drink doesn`t get tampered with at a bar/party, things you can do to your home to make it safer from burglars, how to stay safe on the Internet, how to protect your private information so you are not a victim of identity theft, etc. This is an excellent book and I highly recommend it to every female, especially for young ladies going off to college or moving out of the house for the first time.
Check out the Safety Chick`s website at:
http://www.safetychick.com.
A few other key websites mentioned in this book include:
http://www.usdoj.gov/criminal/fraud - info on what to do if you are a victim of fraud or identity theft
http://www.fightidentitytheft.com/ - tips you can use to help prevent identity theft
http://www.ncadv.org/ - info on what to do if you are a victim of domestic violence
http://www.securerite.com/ - info on finding a reputable locksmith or security company
http://www.ifccfbi.gov/index.asp] - to file a report or learn
more about Internet crime
http://www.cybercrime.gov/ - Computer Crime and Intellectual Properties Section of the Department of Justice
http://www.securityplanet.com/- info on personal safety products
http://www.rainn.org/ - Rape Abuse and Incest National Network (RAIIN)
http://www.ncvc.org/ - National Center for Victims of Crime (NCVC) - info on what to do if you are a victim of stalking
Kathleen Baty`s book also mentioned a book called "Defend Yourself: Every Woman`s Guide to Safeguarding Her Life" by Matt Thomas - Matt Thomas is the man who developed a self defense class specifically for women called "model mugging" (more about model mugging in a minute...). "Defend Yourself" is another excellent resource to help keep yourself safe. I`m only 1/4 of the way through the book, but it is well worth purchasing or checking out from the library.
Matt Thomas has also written a book called "Protecting Children from Danger" - I`ve ordered that one too, but haven`t gotten it yet, so I don`t know exactly what the book covers. I`m guessing it may talk about strategies children can use to keep from getting in harms way.
OK, back to the topic of Model Mugging. Model Mugging is a specialized women`s self-defense program which teaches women, teens, and kids self-defense and personal safety, including verbal, mental, emotional, and physical techniques. The philosophy of the program emphasizes empowerment and the belief that self-defense is best learned in an environment of emotional safety.Two (or three) specially trained instructors, a female who leads the students and one (or two) male instructors in padded suits, teach the class. Students practice realistic techniques and learn how to "knock out" an assailant during various types of attacks.
I first learned about Model Mugging while reading the book "Beauty Bites Beast: Awakening the Warrior Within Woman and Girls" by Ellen Snortland. This book focuses more on why women should take this type of self defense class rather than providing in-depth details of the techniques used in Model Mugging.
If you are planning on taking a class (my goal is to take the basics class sometime in 2004), consider reading the books "Defend Yourself" by Matt Thomas and "Her Wits About Her - Self Defense Success Stories by Women" by Denise Caignon before actually taking this class. These books might help you gain greater insight and understanding of the principles and philosophies of the class, as well as some basic techniques.
To learn more about Model Mugging, please check out the following websites:
http://www.prepareinc.com - discusses full-force, full-impact classes and what they are
http://www.kidpower.org/ - talks about the Kidpower children`s self-defense classes.
My all-time favorite personal safety author is Gavin de Becker, one of our nation`s leading experts on violence prediction and prevention and threat assessment. His company, Gavin de Becker and Associates, helps provide security protection to high profile people like Hollywood celebrities and all of our country`s Supreme Court Justices.
Gavin de Becker has written a number of best-selling books, including "The Gift of Fear", "Protecting the Gift", and "Fear Less: Real Truth About Risk, Safety, and Security in a Time of Terrorism". One of the main themes in the first two books is to trust your instincts when you are in a situation that makes you feel uncomfortable - some call it "intuition", others call it "their inner voice" or "gut feel" - whatever you call it, it is your body`s way of telling you to be aware of what is going on around you. I have become a firm believer in what Gavin de Becker writes about in his books - yes, the Hoffman family owns almost every book he has written (some are out of print, but I keep hoping I`ll eventually find them...).
To learn more about Gavin de Becker, please check out his website:
http://www.gdbinc.com/.
A few good resources for keeping yourself and your children safe while on the Internet include the following websites:
http://www.cybearsurfer.net/
http://www.wiredpatrol.org/
My community hosts an all-day Saturday conference every other year called "Together for Kids" - this conference focuses on ways
parents/educators/child care providers can work together to strengthen our relationships with children and includes a keynote speaker and a variety of child/education-related workshops. I have spoken with one of the people on the Together for Kids Conference planning committee about the possibility of having Gavin de Becker or Kathleen Baty as possible speakers for future Together for Kids conferences - I don`t know if it will ever materialize, but at least their names have been mentioned and are being considered.
I highly recommend reading the following books dealing with the topic of personal safety:
"A Girl`s Gotta Do What A Girl`s Gotta Do: The Ultimate Guide To Living Safe & Smart" by Kathleen Baty
"How To Be Safe In An Unsafe World" by Harold H. Bloomfield
"Her Wits About Her: Self-Defense Success Stories by Women" by Denise Caignon
"The Safe Zone: A Kid`s Guide to Personal Safety" by Donna Chaiet
"The Get Prepare`d Library of Violence Prevention for Young Women" by Donna Chaiet
"It Takes a Village" by Hillary Rodham Clinton
"Women of Ideas" by Spencer Dale
"The Gift of Fear "by Gavin de Becker
"Protecting the Gift" by Gavin de Becker
"Fear Less: Real Truth About Risk, Safety, and Security in a Time of Terrorism" by Gavin de Becker
"How To Understand People and Predict Their Behavior – Anytime, Anyplace – Reading People" by Jo-Ellan Dimitrius
"I Know What You’re Thinking – Using the Four Codes of Reading People to Improve Your Life" by Lillian Glass
"Emotional Intelligence" by Dr. Daniel Goleman
"Surviving a Stalker" by Linden Gross
"How to Make the World a Better Place for Women in Five Minutes a Day" by Donna Jackson
"Safe Child Book" by Sheryl Kerns Krazier
"Predicting Violent Behavior" by Dr. John Monahan
"Reviving Ophelia" by Mary Pipher
"Real Boys" by William Pollack
"Why It`s Great to Be a Girl: 50 Eye-Opening Things You Can Tell Your Daughter to Increase Her Pride in Being Female" by Jacqueline Shannon
"What Should I Tell the Kids? A Parent`s Guide to Real Problems in the Real World" by Ava L. Siegler
"Beauty Bites Beast: Awakening the Warrior Within Woman and Girls" by Ellen Snortland
"Options for Avoiding Assault a Guide to Assertiveness, Boundaries, and De-escalation for Violent
Confrontations" by Mary Tesoro
"Defend Yourself" by Matt Thomas
"Protecting Children from Danger" by Matt Thomas
"The KidPower Guide for Parents and Teachers" by Irene van der Zande
"Raising Safe Kids in an Unsafe World" by Jan Wagner
"Child Lures" by Kenneth Wooden
Ok, I`ll get off my personal safety soap box now! I was just so excited about these books I`ve discovered I wanted to share.......
Have a nice day everyone.
Sally
[ edited by sallyhoffman on Jan 28, 2004 07:29 AM ]
posted on January 28, 2004 08:39:32 AM new
That's fine but it is by no means just for women.
Any male - even if large and young is a target for crime if he is unaware.
Some common sense things I learned but see people fail to do all the time.
1. Keep your money seperated in several pockets so you don't have to show a wad to pay for a small item.
2. Don't drive an expensive new car if you are going in the rough part of town or parking in an area where you are isolated.
3. Don't wear expensive jewelry or exceptionally fancy clothing for a ordinary shopping trip.
4. Don't have all your valuables in a purse and leave it loose on the counter while you pay or sitting in the shopping cart while you do the marketing.
5. If you carry a weapon put your hand on it and lower your hood if it is cold and look around before you start to unlock your car and get in.
6. Just stop and LOOK around you after you park to see if anyone is sitting in another car scanning the area - and look inside a store through the door or windows before you go in. Does the cashier look like they fit the business?
7. When you go in a restaurant or hotel look and see how you can exit different before you sit down and relax. Know where the fire escape or a route through the kitchen is. Walk back and check it out if you can't see.
8. Sit with your back to the wall if possible and where you can see the entry.
9. If you carry an automatic weapon carry a spare clip in your left pocket. If you see someone that is checking you out way too closely it is a crime to brandish a weapon but I have had a rough looking character turn and leave the area when I just took a clip for my .45 out of my pants pocket and stuck it in my jacket pocket as if I thought I might be needing it soon. Besides you can never have too much ammo. I have also had someone visibly turn and change their mind on approuching me simply because when they turned and started towards me I unzipped my jacket. To the wrong sort of person you are doing that so you can draw faster. If he decides to hurry instead of turn away though you better not be sandbagging.
10. If you think somebody is following you stop at a place of your choosing that favors you for visibility or defensibility and force them to deal with you or pass. If you carry a cell phone or a small FM radio you can pull it out and speak into it. Even if you don't call someone they will have an unwelcome extra factor to deal with because they don't know who you talked to or why and how far away help is if you called for it.
posted on January 28, 2004 08:59:23 AM new"If you carry a weapon put your hand on it and lower your hood if it is cold and look around before you start to unlock your car and get in."
Old safety instructions for IRS agents recommended *not* locking your car in order to make a fast getaway.
excerpt --- illegal street racers offer the same advice."So everything was good for about 15 minutes until, someone said that the cops are coming. Well everybody scattered, and my friend ran to his car, he was so nervous he was running through keys like crazy. He finally see the right key, and puts it in the lock and then two bright lights are shinning at him. It was Philadelphia's finest stepping out of the car. He knew it was over....... So the cop arrested him, and my buddy told him that he was looking for his brother to take him home. Well that story didn't slide with the cops. He got a big fine, but his car didn't get inpounded. He got his car back after paying another huge amount of money. Just think .... if he didn't lock his door, he would of probably got away.. Good tip don't lock your car unless you have a keyless, entry."
posted on January 28, 2004 09:37:52 AM new
Gravid, thank you for posting the extra safety tips. Statistically women are much more likely to be a victim of a crime, particularly violent crimes; however safety tips are for everyone.
The Gavin de Becker books (and his website) provide additional safety tips for both men and women.
The KidPower self defense classes are geared toward both boys and girls. So are the tips in the "Child Lures" book.
posted on January 28, 2004 12:23:17 PM new
Keyless entry is nice. We have that in our Chrysler.
But the thing also has lights that go on when you use the transmitter or open the door and there is no way to shut them off.
There are red AND white lights in the doors under the handle and two spots behind the rear view mirror overhead. Not only can't you turn them off but they stay on and slowly fad out after you have cl;osed the doors. Damn thing lights up like an amusement park ride. I can just see trying to sneak away without somebody seeing you - forget it.
My Honda has a single dome light and a switch on it that can be set so it doesn't come on when you open the door.
posted on January 28, 2004 12:41:32 PM new
Unbelievable!! I don't even keep my doors locked. You can jog here at 3 a.m. if you feel like it, and I don't think there's ever been a murder or rape where I live. And carrying a gun??? Not allowed here unless you're law enforcement. What a scarey life some of you guys live in.
posted on January 28, 2004 01:06:07 PM new
I think its overkill, kraftdinner.
I think that we should avoid the mistake of giving children too much cautionary information because such warnings and instructions could frighten children unnecessarily. Children are usually well supervised and don't really need so much disturbing information. I can understand some warnings but too much information based on exaggerated media coverage of crime can be harmful and frightening to kids.
posted on January 28, 2004 01:36:46 PM new
Helenjw, I agree I have provided a lot of information here on safety related topics, but I do not agree that it is overkill. Granted, parents know their own children best and know what types of safety related information they can discuss with them without getting the children upset.
The approach I take with my children is providing small doses of safety related information spread out over time - for our family at least, this is much more effective than providing vast amounts of information to them all at once. We talk about lots of topics that fall under the "safety" umbrella - things like what to do if there's a fire in the house, the importance of wearing seat belts, why we wear helmets and kneepads/elbow pads when roller blading, etc. My children are quite young, but my husband and I have had numerous discussions with them over the course of the last two years about the dangers of smoking, drugs, and alcohol. We made the discussions age-appropriate, making sure that as they get older, we provide a bit more information with each new discussion.
Personal safety is, in my opinion, a natural extension of these types of discussions we have as a family. We've talked about what a "stranger is" and the fact that a grown up should never have to ask a child for help; we've role played scenarios to provide the children with words and actions they can say/do if they feel a situation is "not right" around a stranger; and we've developed a "what if" type game we can play that lists various situations and ask the children what they would say or do in given situations. Done in this context, these discussions are not scary, but rather very informative and fun. My children routinely ask "Mom, can we play the what-if game"? Sometimes I turn it around and have them provide me with safety related situations and then I have to answer how I would handle the situation.
Some of the materials (books and/or websites) mentioned in my original post are definitely geared toward older children. Again, parents know their own children best and know the types of safety related information they can feel comfortable sharing with them.
All I wanted to do was share some information I have gathered about personal safety - it is up to each reader to decide what, if anything, they plan to do with this information.
posted on January 28, 2004 01:43:48 PM new
I'm all for teaching kids, especially girls, self-defense and evasion strategies. A lot of the violent crime perpetrated against women is a direct result of our having been taught (subtly and otherwise) that it's not "ladylike" to fight, men are stronger, blah, blah, blah. If girls were raised with an awareness of their physical strength and encouraged to hone their fighting skills (the way boys are) we would eventually begin reading headlines like, "Woman Beats Up Would-be Assailant". 'Course, I also advocate every woman having a License to Carry, heh...
posted on January 28, 2004 04:02:17 PM new
Plsmith, I agree that many women are taught as young girls that fighting isn't "ladylike". Taking a Model Mugging self defense class teaches women not only the physical techniques to fend off an attacker, but also teaches them how to portray confidence in their voice and in the way they carry themselves. Many times a loud verbal "NO" is enough to deter a would-be attacker. The philosophy of the course is to resort to physical fighting as a last resort.
Something I read in the "Defend Yourself" book by Matt Thomas stands out very distinctly in my mind. He wrote (I'm quoting here from the book):
"The purpose of a warrior is to preserve the peace. The true pacifist is the samurai who could easily draw his sword and cut his enemy in two, but chooses not to draw it".
posted on January 28, 2004 04:10:34 PM new
Sorry Sally... I should've mentioned what a great source of information you have gathered together! You should have your own web page.
It's just hard for me to imagine living that way - that you need to learn how to fight and use guns for protection. Americans need to get rid of their guns. Nobody except law enforcement should be allowed to carry a gun imo.
posted on January 28, 2004 04:34:44 PM new"The purpose of a warrior is to preserve the peace. The true pacifist is the samurai who could easily draw his sword and cut his enemy in two, but chooses not to draw it".
posted on January 28, 2004 04:39:23 PM new
Yes, Sally, those are wise words. Changing the mindset of oneself as a potential victim, and then having the means to thwart an actual attack, should such a situation arise, would go a long way to instilling true self-esteem in girls/women, and if these skills were taught side-by-side with the boys in grade school, those few chaps who become abusive husbands in later life might never land that first punch.
"Nobody except law enforcement should be allowed to carry a gun imo."
Krafty, not even "liberal" me agrees that only LE should have guns. I'm happy for you that you're living in a safe town, free from crime. The reality here is that one cannot have 24-hour police protection, and there are more criminals than cops; I absolutely do not go looking for trouble, but if it comes to me or my loved ones, you bet, I'll use any means necessary to put an end to it.
I'm a "traditionalist"
posted on January 28, 2004 04:54:02 PM new
I'm glad you live in a safe place Krafty.
But there are plenty of places that if you depend on the cops to defend ya all they can do when they finally show up is draw a chalk line around ya.
Now where I live they get here in 3 or 4 minutes. But down in Detroit very close to me you can call and tell them somebody is kicking in the door of your house to force their way in and they still might not come around for a few hours. If it's a real rough night they might not show up at all if you don't keep calling.
posted on January 28, 2004 04:55:28 PM new
LOL, Helen! I confess, I'm not terribly 'submissive', either. But, much as I myself was surprised with my "Keirsey" rating as a "traditionalist", many of the keywords in that list you've linked to above resonate with who I really am.
I only snap at Twelvepole because God told me to...
Edited to add: Nah, KC, I'm not a mercenary and I've never had occasion to shoot at anyone, thank God. I like to think I have a pragmatic and not-too-paranoid approach to life: not seeking or expecting trouble, but able to meet it head-on if it arrives.
posted on January 28, 2004 05:26:56 PM new
Darn it, you were supposed to say Yes! And then I was going to say Kiss my ass, Helen.
Ain't she cute?!
I dunno who you've been talking to and I don't want to know; you should know by now that I'm really just a tired old spinster with too much time on my hands...
posted on January 28, 2004 05:57:15 PM new
After that emotionaly wrought account of the dying bird in the street. I would have never considered you a gun-for-hire! I consider you a kind, gentle, swamp scrapper. I have no problem with gun toting, today's chaotic society would dictate that you are safer in doing so. Law enforcement shouldn't have the exclusive right to carry firearms. Having seen several incidents where the sight of a firearm or the sound of firearm cycling a round in the chamber, has proved to be a deterrent to the most ardent of those with criminal ambitions.
posted on January 28, 2004 05:57:33 PM new
Heh, I wish that bustard would pop in here...
Edited to reply to KC, since we cross-posted...
I'm not, by any stretch of the imagination, a gun-toter, KC. I'd rather that EVERYONE, EVERYWHERE melt down their guns, but I know (since I'm not an "idealist", heh) that will never happen.
In all truth, what shifted my view of gun possession in America was an Act passed in a town (or maybe county) in Georgia a few years ago. Its citizens were required to possess firearms, and crime decreased overnight.
I guess I'm an odd duck, afterall... yes, I can lament a dying bird in the street and also be willing to kill any intruder in my home; I abhor anything less than a "righteous" war ( -and we haven't "been to one" in over 50 years, imo) but honor the men and women who serve in the military; I trot out a sizeable flag on Memorial Day and Veteran's Day, yet I don't foam at the mouth when someone else burns the Stars and Stripes in protest.
Like I said, I'm just an old spinster -- a beldame -- who votes conscientiously, makes her bed every morning, and goes forth attempting to see the best in everyone -- while locking her car... and packing, heh.
posted on January 28, 2004 07:47:43 PM new
Perhaps there would be less need to teach kids to protect themselves if those whose responsibility it is to protect them actually spent more time with them. And whatever happened to "no, sorry, I'm your mother/father, and you're not going to go there/do that." ?
___________________________________
Mi abuelita me dijo "en boca cerrada no entran moscas".
posted on January 28, 2004 08:19:36 PM new
People today want it both ways...they want kids, but don't feel it should impact their "lifestyle", or their right to "personal fulfillment". A parent's career should be his and her children. Period. If you're going to be a parent, find a way to pay the bills that will allow you to maximize your time with your kids. Otherwise, don't breed. It's not like there aren't plenty of parentless kids around already.
___________________________________
Mi abuelita me dijo "en boca cerrada no entran moscas".
posted on January 28, 2004 08:20:34 PM new
...not that I have an opinion or anything....
___________________________________
Mi abuelita me dijo "en boca cerrada no entran moscas".
. The book talks about how to keep yourself safe in various situations - going out at night alone, making sure your drink doesn`t get tampered with at a bar/party, things you can do to your home to make it safer from burglars, how to stay safe on the Internet, how to protect your private information so you are not a victim of identity theft, etc. This is an excellent book and I highly recommend it to every female, especially for young ladies going off to college or moving out of the house for the first time.
