logansdad
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posted on July 19, 2004 09:07:48 AM new
The White House:
You wanted to see me, Mr. President?
I did, Dick, I did. Have a seat.
It's about the ticket, isn't it?
What makes you think that? By the way, how's the old ticker?
My heart is fine, sir.
Say, did you get that microwave I sent over to your office?
I did, sir, unfortunately I can't be around microwaves with my pacemaker.
Right, of course. Gee, sorry about that.
So what did you want to see me about, sir?
The ticket.
I knew it.
The base is concerned about how you match up with John Edwards.
In what way, sir?
Head-to-head.
When you say head-to-head, you're not talking about debates, are you?
No.
You're talking about hair.
Right.
Well, sir, I'm afraid we may have to give them that one.
Not necessarily.
You're not thinking toupee, are you, sir? Because I've tried them on. I look like Howard Cosell.
No, nothing like that. We're thinking something more natural looking.
Like what, Mr. President?
Dick, have you ever thought about getting a "system."
A system, sir?
Yeah, apparently they have ways of weaving your own hair and some store-bought stuff into quite a do.
I don't know, sir, I don't have much hair left to work with.
No problem. You see Dolly Parton lately?
Yes sir.
She has a system.
Really?
Yep. Tennis ball has more natural hair than that woman.
You sure about that?
Got it straight from the boys over at the CIA.
Oh.
Here, look at this. We did a little computer-generated mock-up of what you might look like with the right system.
Sir, that's a picture of Brad Pitt.
Yeah, we figured as long as you were getting a system, we might as well shoot the works, do a complete makeover.
You're talking plastic surgery.
Well, yeah, but nothing major. Maybe a little nip here, a tuck there, some lipo, an implant or two.
I can't believe this.
I know this is asking a lot, Dick, but your looks could be the difference in the election.
Yeah, I know, I know. Brad Pitt, huh? Dick "Achilles" Cheney. It does have a ring to it. Wonder how I'd look in a leather skirt?
Hot, Dick, very, very hot.
http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/opinion/perspective/chi-0407180319jul18,1,4302407.story?coll=chi-newsopinionperspective-hed
Let's have a BBQ, Texas style, ROAST BUSH
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All Things Just Keep Getting Better
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We the people, in order to form a more perfect Union....
.....one Nation indivisible, With Liberty and Justice for ALL.
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rustygumbo
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posted on July 19, 2004 11:55:21 AM new
Viagra Dick... It worked for Bob Dole. Hell, even some of them damn liberals think Bob Dole if funny.
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neroter12
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posted on July 19, 2004 03:58:20 PM new
Very cute Joke, Logans!
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