posted on July 21, 2004 01:45:28 PM new
..TO BE A GOOD CONSERVATIVE REPUBLICAN...
1. You have to believe that teenagers shouldn't learn about safe sex because ignorance is the best way to prevent pregnancy, and besides,only those homos get AIDS and you thank God for that.
2. You have to believe that the same teacher who can't teach 4th graders how to read is somehow qualified to lead all kids in prayer regardless of their faith as long as it's your faith.
3. You have to believe it is intelligent to buy a gun to protect your family and home despite the fact that you are 40 times more likely to kill your own family member than an intruder.
4. You have to believe that it's OK to have an affair as long as you divorce your spouse after you've been caught and marry the mistress. (Dole, Reagan, Gingrich, Barr, etc.)
5. You have to believe that your SUV should be exempt from emission standards even though it spews out 4 times the pollution of any car, because you enjoy sitting high above the congested traffic.
6. You have to believe abortion is always wrong because all lives are precious and you'll kill any doctor who performs one.
7. You have to believe that the minimum wage should be outlawed because thanks to the extreme generosity of corporations you are overpaid.
8. You have to believe that your children will have a well-rounded education by banning books in the public schools and libraries.
9. You have to believe that in case the government goes bad, you'll need your handgun to successfully fight off an organized army that has tanks, aircraft, battleships, missiles, satellites, and 2 million well-trained soldiers.
10 You have to believe that the NRA is good because it supports a self-serving portion of the Constitution, but the ACLU is bad because it supports all portions of the Constitution, even the right for your fellow Klansmen to have a parade in a Jewish neighborhood.
11. You have to believe that a woman cannot be trusted with decisions about her own body, but that large multinational corporations should make decisions affecting all mankind with no regulation whatsoever.
12. You have to believe that diversity on your presidential ticket means two Texas millionaire oilmen from different corporations.
13. You have to believe the Hate Crimes Bill is bad because it gives "special protection" to a group of people, but think that laws that prohibit citizens from suing Tobacco Corporations, Gun-makers and HMOs are not special protection.
14. You have to believe that freedom of speech is cherished as long as you like what is being said.
15. You have to believe that over the past 20 years, no Presidential primary is complete without the name Dole and/or Bush on it.
16. You have to believe that trickle-down economics works because the rich surely won't keep all that money to themselves. Look how well it worked during the Reagan-Bush years.
17. You have to believe Clinton is bad because he lied about a private sexual indiscretion under oath, but Ronald "I don't remember" Reagan and George "I wasn't there" Bush are heroes because they lied under oath about illegally selling arms to Iranian militants and giving the cash to drug-smuggling Nicaraguan Contras.
18. You have to believe that its OK for government to sanction religion just as long as it's your religion.
19. You have to believe the homosexual agenda is to get a purple Tele-Tubby to turn our children gay.
20. You have to believe that hunters need assault weapons to assist in natural selection, because they shoot only the starving and sick animals and will not shoot that magnificent 12-point stag.
21. You have to believe that Reagan's tripling the deficit was good for the economy.
22. You have to believe that the best leaders to espouse family values are those with one or more failed marriages (Dole, Reagan, Gingrich, Barr, Limbaugh, etc.)
23. Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime, unless you are millionaire conservative radio jock, which makes it an "illness" and needs our prayers for "recovery."
24. You have to believe that the members of your national convention represent a good cross-sectional and diverse group of Americans.
25. You have to believe that a national sales tax is better than income tax because everyone uses the same proportion of their income to buy food, clothing, and housing, but really, the only good tax is one which only the poor pay.
26. You have to believe Jesus was a Conservative and shares your hatred of AIDS victims, homosexuals, and President Clinton. You also ask yourself "What would Jesus Do?" and completely ignore the fact that he stayed out of politics, never tried to get a law passed, never tried to obtain wealth, nor spoke of divisive drivel.
27. You believe that charitable organizations should take care of the poor and then give nothing to charity (i.e. Dick Cheney).
28. You believe that a rape victim should be forced to raise her attacker's offspring and then fight her attempts to get welfare when she tries to do so.
29. You have to believe a poor, minority student with a disciplinary history and failing grades will be admitted into an elite private school with a $1,000 voucher (Dubya doesn't count, because he's not a minority. He just became President with the minority).
30. You have to believe that a great way to lower air pollution is to get others to ride mass transit; that way you can get to work in your SUV much faster.
31. You have to believe the talk of Randy Weaver and David Koresh are more important than actions of Franklin Roosevelt and Martin Luther King, and what happened at Ruby Ridge is more important than what happened at Selma, Alabama.
32. You have to believe that Hillary Clinton was crazy for talking to spirits in the White House, but Nancy Reagan is OK for consulting astrologers to help her decide U.S. policies while Ronnie was in the hospital.
33. You have to believe everything that is said by right-wing wackos on talk radio.
34) You have to believe that Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him with chemical weapons to fight Iran, a bad guy when Bush's daddy made war on him, a good guy when Cheney was doing business with him for Halliburton, and a bad guy when Bush needed a "we can't find Bin Laden" diversion.
35) You have to believe that the lumber from the last one percent of old growth U.S. forests is well worth the extinction of the several species of plants and animals therein. Besides, it will prevent forest fires.
36) You have to believe that Aid to Mothers with Dependent children is wasteful, but giving tax breaks to companies moving American jobs overseas is just what government is for.
37) You have to believe that trade with Cuba is wrong because it is communist, but trading with China and Vietnam is good.
38) You have to believe that the public has a right to know what the government is doing but that Bush was right to censor those 28 pages from the Congressional 9/11 report because you just can't handle the truth.
posted on July 21, 2004 02:16:14 PM new
okay...I'll play.
First by saying John kerry fits parts of your #5 and #6.
---------
Then by offering:
***Rules For Being A Good Liberal***
1) You have to selectively limit your concerns about human rights only to countries in which the oppressor can be linked to US interests. The human rights of those oppressed by governments without strong Western ties merit little concern.
2) For the reason above you cannot fully celebrate the nonviolent liberation of people oppressed by the Soviet Union or any other country in which the source of oppression lacks strong Western ties.
3) You've forgotten that the students in Tiananmen Square created a replica of the Statue of Liberty.
4) You marched for sanctions in South Africa and against sanctions in Iraq and Cuba.
5) You have to believe that, on balance, most people would prefer to live in Cuba rather than the USA. You think there is a moral equivalence between the government of North Korea and South Korea - you're not sure where you would prefer to live.
6) You have to believe that Soviet communism was morally superior, or at least morally equivalent, to US democracy. As a result you can omit the way the moral realities of the Cold War compelled difficult, and often ugly, foreign policy decisions.
7) You have to think the world would not be an appreciably worse place if the Nazi's, the Japanese, or the Soviet Union had been left unchecked by US power.
8) Even after the end of the Cold War you have to think that the American empire (foreign influence) is an exclusively evil one - this despite the defeat of German Nazism, Italian fascism, Japanese militarism, Soviet Communism, and the maintenance of peace in Europe and Asia for most of the past 60 years (following two horrific World Wars in the 30 years prior).
9) You have to be tolerant of dictators who, by definition, oppress their people, because you think that some people culturally prefer to live as slaves of the state rather than have basic human rights and a say in their governance.
10) You'd rather be critical of those who aggressively seek to spread civil rights and democratic freedoms to totalitarian nations than of those in Hollywood who spread a vision of immoral America that fuels anxiety about the consequences of freedom for religious conservatives (of any faith) and Muslims in particular.
11) Despite your college education and accumulated cultural capital you?d prefer to tax everyone for the causes you believe in rather than make the hard sacrifices necessary to personally respond to societal needs without requiring the forceful coercion of those who disagree with your point of view.
12) You have to believe in refusing to use force, except when you are encouraging and expanding the necessity for the use of force on the part of the IRS in pursuit of resources for an expansion of government programs. Bigger government = more use of force (by the IRS ). Just ask a war-tax resister.
13) You have to refuse to take any tax deductions, particularly the regressive ones like the mortgage interest deduction, because you believe that government will use your tax dollars more wisely and efficiently than any charity you might contribute to. (Oh, you only have to believe that rhetorically? Thanks for the clarification.)
14) You have to wallow in pessimism believing that the world is becoming a worse place for most people to live, that there is more oppression, exploitation, and apocalyptic potential, despite the obvious realities of the success of anti-slavery, anti-colonialism, pro-civil rights, anti-Soviet communism, and pro-democracy movements that have swept the world in recent centuries and decades. Your pessimistic view of the world is strikingly parallel to the authors of the -Left Behind- series.
15) You have to believe that only you, your friends, sometimes NPR, and the 1% of people who voted for Dennis Kucinich in Iowa have the right secret decoder ring by which all of the vast right-wing conspiracies and the manipulations of the media empire are revealed.
16) If you're a Christian you have to ignore the New Testament formation of the Church so that you can cling to a distorted Old Testament view that the responsibilities of all governments, even in secular states, remain those given to Old Testament Israel. This rather than recognizing the New Testament shift of those responsibilities to the Church. You have to keep prophetically laboring to do through a secular American government what God failed and gave up on doing through Israel.
You manage to ignore the odds that you're unlikely to do in America what God failed to do in Israel.
URL to article: http://generositywithoutborders.org/oh/index.php?p=189
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
"One thing is for sure: the extremists have faith in our weakness. And the weaker we are, the more they will come after us." --Tony Blair
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
"The War on Terror will not be won until America is united. And as long as Democrats target the Bush administration -- not the terrorists -- as the enemy, we are in trouble." --Oliver North
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
posted on July 21, 2004 04:56:49 PM new
Good ones Linda
here:
20 Steps to Being a Good Liberal
1. You have to believe that the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of federal funding.
2. You have to believe that the same teacher who can't teach 4th-graders how to read is somehow qualified to teach those same kids about sex.
3. You have to believe that guns in the hands of law-abiding Americans are more of a threat than U.S. nuclear weapons technology in the hands of Chinese and North Korean communists.
4. You have to believe that there was no art before Federal funding.
5. You have to believe that global temperatures are less affected by cyclical documented changes in the earth's climate than by soccer moms driving SUVs.
6. You have to believe that gender roles are artificial but being homosexual is natural.
7 You have to be against capital punishment, but support abortion on demand.
8. You have to believe that businesses create oppression and governments create prosperity.
9. You have to believe that hunters don't care about nature, but loony activists who have never been outside of San Francisco do.
10. You have to believe that self-esteem is more important than actually doing something to earn it.
11. You have to believe that the military, not corrupt politicians, start wars.
12. You have to believe the NRA is bad because it supports certain parts of the Constitution, while the ACLU is good because it supports certain parts of the Constitution.
13. You have to believe that taxes are too low, but ATM fees are too high.
14. You have to believe that Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinem are more important to American history than Thomas Jefferson, Gen. Robert E Lee, and Thomas Edison.
15. You have to believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial quotas and set -asides are not.
16. You have to believe that Hillary Clinton is normal and is a very nice person.
17. You have to believe that the only reason socialism hasn't worked anywhere it's been tried is because the right people haven't been in charge.
18. You have to believe that homosexual parades displaying drag queens, transvestites, and bestiality should be constitutionally protected, and manger scenes at Christmas should be illegal
19. You have to believe that illegal Democratic Party funding by the Chinese government is somehow in the best interest to the United States.
20. You have to believe that this message is a part of a right wing conspiracy funded by Southern Baptists.
posted on July 21, 2004 05:11:05 PM new
Very good...NTS
Thanks - twig...I thought they fit.
Now ?? maybe we'll get a list from the Independents? Or Libertarians??
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
"One thing is for sure: the extremists have faith in our weakness. And the weaker we are, the more they will come after us." --Tony Blair
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
"The War on Terror will not be won until America is united. And as long as Democrats target the Bush administration -- not the terrorists -- as the enemy, we are in trouble." --Oliver North
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
posted on July 21, 2004 05:40:39 PM new
Waiting for Maggie's rude, belligerent, and non sequitor reply. WAIT, that's right I'm ignoring Maggie's pathetically vapid and shallow-minded posts. Too bad I wasn't logged in when I mistakenly clicked on Maggie's nasty minded regurgitation's. Laugh it up, maybe this pathetic creature will crawl back under it's rock. IMHO.
posted on July 21, 2004 06:14:08 PM new
linda your predictability evidenced here...
(Let's face it folks, didn't we just know linda would go after the bait and list each one by number to once again bore us to death)...
must make your life very tedious but mostly tedious to those who have to put up with your actual physical presence....we're lucky and can ignore you but those poor people.....
Linda just answer one question ,
Have you ever had an original and/or kind thought about anything or anyone...is that why your alleged son is in Iraq or wherever because you were boring him to death?
posted on July 21, 2004 06:39:37 PM new
Crowfarm said to Linda: Have you ever had an original and/or kind thought about anything or anyone etc.
I am sorry to say this but it could be the same said for you and I for one can attest to that.
Here you attack Linda's personal life and I think that is crossing the line also. Her political opinion is one thing but her family is off limits. Now I can just hear what you are saying. "Here they come to defend Linda", we are not defending her but family values, leave them out of the threads. You state you had no children. Thanks goodness. What school system were you in the big one at Stillwater.....
posted on July 21, 2004 06:41:46 PM new
BUSH NOW ACCEPTING APPLICATIONS FROM WORLD LEADERS WHO WISH TO REMAIN IN POWER
New Process Will Help President Decide Which Leaders to Topple
Having decided that his procedure for determining which foreign leaders to topple was becoming too unwieldy, President Bush is now accepting applications from foreign leaders who are interested in remaining in power, the White House said today.
“President Bush believes that a standardized application is the fairest and most effective way for him to select which foreign leaders to topple,” White House press secretary Ari Fleischer said today.
The application process, while relatively simple, does require all foreign leaders who wish to avoid being toppled to submit a resume, three letters of recommendation, and the results of a foreign leader’s aptitude test administered by the Educational Testing Service of Princeton, New Jersey.
While President Bush is reportedly still sifting through several hundred applications from foreign leaders who wish not to be toppled, White House sources say that Iraqi strongman Saddam Hussein’s chances to remain in power seem slim at best.
“On the application, right next to the name, there are two boxes you can check: ‘Evil,’ or ‘Not Evil,’” one aide said. “Guess which one old Saddam checked?”
But for those foreign leaders whose applications fail to pass muster, the news isn’t all bad, as the Bush administration has promised to find new positions in the private sector for all of the foreign leaders they decide to topple.
While the President has not specified exactly where all of the toppled leaders will wind up, it is believed that many of them will be among the 3,000 new baggage checkers currently being hired at U.S. airports.
Let's have a BBQ, Texas style, ROAST BUSH
------------------------------
All Things Just Keep Getting Better
------------------------------
We the people, in order to form a more perfect Union....
.....one Nation indivisible, With Liberty and Justice for ALL.
posted on July 21, 2004 06:45:19 PM new
Twelve, get off your military high horse. You think because you served in the military you deserve special treatment. You and all the other military personnel CHOSE to be in the military.
YOU DESERVE NOTHING....
Let's have a BBQ, Texas style, ROAST BUSH
------------------------------
All Things Just Keep Getting Better
------------------------------
We the people, in order to form a more perfect Union....
.....one Nation indivisible, With Liberty and Justice for ALL.
[ edited by logansdad on Jul 21, 2004 06:53 PM ]
posted on July 21, 2004 06:53:46 PM new
Well here I am Parklane or ChristianCoffee, or which ever bible thumper you are tonight.. HA.. Praize Jezus!
What's the matter wimpy... hit a nerve did I? I hope you do ignore my posts, because honestly I don't usually post with you in mind.. in fact.. you're wimpy posts have never interested me enough to give them any notice.. you are just one of those sucker fish hanging on to Linda's every post. At least she makes an effort.. you just ride free.. LOL... I'm trying to imagine you with a personality!!!
Linda, I finally found one of your cut and paste sites.. wanted to show you that we can all cut and paste like you do.. but most of us don't have that much time on our hands to keep up with you.
I admire your dedication and persistence though. I bet every night you get on your knees before going to sleep and kiss that wonderful Bush of yours.. and I realize that is not an easy thing to do without real dedication..
Libra... I have tried to go easy on you, because it is obvious that you are not all there.. the elevator doesn't go to the top floor... and I think you are an old fart and didn't want to give you palpitations or anything.. but keep it up with your sneaky little jabs and " old woman" the gloves will come off, so hang on to your wig granny!
Teflon Brain.. nothing sticks.. HA!
Now.. if I have left anyone out.. I'll just stay bent over for a few more minutes while you all get a chance to kiss my ass..
Your very own sweet and lovely Maggie..
posted on July 21, 2004 07:12:46 PM new
and you think you deserve to be married logansdad? that is funny,you have done nothing for your country but choose a lifestyle that the majority of americans find repugnant...
It is you that deserves nothing...
aww maggienuthins has posted a nice long diatribe... is that all you got sweetie.... you pretty lame if you ask me... still nothing but a board troll...
But your last post shows why no one here takes you seriously... you couldn't even gather a crowed in the EO LOL
But that's ok your inane posting is good for laugh now and then, pathetic but laughable...
Until you started posting again, I hadn't realized you were gone... how about crawling back under that rock... and take crowfart back to hers...
AIN'T LIFE GRAND...
[ edited by Twelvepole on Jul 21, 2004 07:15 PM ]
Great post. I'll ignore the rest of the nastiness going on in it.
Edited to add: Except to say, twelve, you are in particularly foul spirits tonight. Your comments are bordering on threats. Lighten up, will ya?
Cheryl
God grant that not only the love of liberty but a thorough knowledge of the rights of man may pervade all the nations of the earth, so that a philosopher may set his foot anywhere on its surface and say: This is my country. - Benjamin Franklin
[ edited by CBlev65252 on Jul 21, 2004 07:26 PM ]
posted on July 21, 2004 07:32:33 PM new
Oh littletwig.. I am so glad that you have made an appearance! I wondered when you would get enough liquid fortification to pump up your balls enough to speak..
You remind me of those little brown things that float just before a flush..so hard to get rid of.. You definitely have diarrhea of the mouth...but you are so much fun to play with..LOL
I love the way Crow can play you.. Crow makes you froth at the mouth and babble incoherently... and Helen can cut you in half with 3 words.. and all you can do is come back with STFU.. or threaten people.. you are a sick little girl.. now be quiet and behave yourself.. you silly little thing you.. I'm bending over and blowing you a goodnight kiss.. maggie
Maggie's post was funny. There was nothing funny about your comments to other posters here. It's okay if the rest of you start threads with Kerry, Edwards or Clinton jokes though, isn't it? No wonder good posters are leaving. It's become really nasty in here lately.
No, twelve, I wasn't involved in any fights in school. In fact, we hardly had any fights in school. We were, much to your probable disapproval, peace loving hippies who protested the Vietnam War.
Cheryl
God grant that not only the love of liberty but a thorough knowledge of the rights of man may pervade all the nations of the earth, so that a philosopher may set his foot anywhere on its surface and say: This is my country. - Benjamin Franklin
posted on July 21, 2004 07:41:05 PM newIt's become really nasty in here lately
Yet you support both crowfart and maggienuthins... yeah right...
I like how you over look two POS that start more nastiness than anyone else has in a long while...
Everytime someone starts a civil post, look who really starts the nasty comments... open your eyes... you and the other liberals are so blind that you have let two board trolls take over your position and also start the nastiness that you feel is going on...
I don't support crowfarm's comment about Linda's son. Anyone serving in the armed forces over in Iraq should not be made the butt of anyone's jokes. Where did I say I supported that comment? I don't, however, I support your foul language and your "die" comment either. I've heard you sound foul in the past, but never quite that much.
No one on the liberal side (excluding comments from crowfarm because I don't know everything he has said) that I recall has told someone else to "die" over stupid remarks they've made. That comment came from the conservative side.
Cheryl
God grant that not only the love of liberty but a thorough knowledge of the rights of man may pervade all the nations of the earth, so that a philosopher may set his foot anywhere on its surface and say: This is my country. - Benjamin Franklin
[ edited by CBlev65252 on Jul 21, 2004 07:48 PM ]
posted on July 21, 2004 07:51:44 PM new
Okay knock it off littletwig.. you sound like a girlie man! Quit your cry-baby whiny-assed blubbering, you deserve every spanking that you get.. Now pull your little pants up and go to bed.. and quit sucking that thumb.. what's that you say? Not your thumb?
posted on July 21, 2004 07:54:49 PM new
Whats wrong with that comment? People die everyday... better people than crofarm will ever hope to be...
His comments to Linda were WAY out of line... but then again you'd rather sit back let those people speak for you, I forgot you don't like Linda, never mind... continue on and let the those two board trolls speak for you.
Twelvepole, Can you help me understand, your constant need to know if people have served in the military? I've been associated with people who have served in the military both regular army, reservists and officers. Like the rest of society, some of these people were good outstanding citizens while others were not. That makes me wonder why you appear to believe that serving in the military always confers some privileged distinction and that you are "special" because as you claim, you have served.. Obviously, you are not a shining example, as evidenced here, of the kind of qualities that the military tries to promote. You are certainly not "special" here. Wishing people dead and making hateful and inappropriate comments with nearly every post would probably embarrass your finer friends in the military.
Did you at all read my post back to you or do you do like some of the others do and only read what you wanted to?
I said I didn't support crowfarm's comment about Linda's son. I don't like Linda's politics or most of her comments, but I don't know her so to say I don't like her is awfully presumptuos of you. For all I know, she may be totally different in person although I somehow doubt it.
Now you, you are a different story. You do have nerve calling Maggie and crowfarm nasty when I've read some pretty nasty things you've said in the past. I would say it's kind of like the pot calling the kettle black.
Cheryl
God grant that not only the love of liberty but a thorough knowledge of the rights of man may pervade all the nations of the earth, so that a philosopher may set his foot anywhere on its surface and say: This is my country. - Benjamin Franklin
