posted on September 1, 2004 12:44:43 PM new
Thought I'd share this. It was making the rounds on email this morning at work:
1. WOMAN'S PERFECT BREAKFAST
She's sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee.
Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box.
Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week
And her husband is on the back of the milk carton.
2. WOMEN'S REVENGE
"Cash, check or charge?" I asked after folding items
the woman wished to purchase. As she fumbled for her
wallet, I noticed a remote control for a television
set in her purse.
"So, do you always carry your TV remote?" I asked.
"No," she replied, "but my husband refused to come
shopping with me, so I figured this was the most legal,
evil thing I could do to him."
3. UNDERSTANDING WOMEN (A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE)
I know I'm not going to understand women. How can you
take boiling wax, pour it onto your upper thigh, rip
the hair out by the root, and still be afraid of a
spider?
4. MARRIAGE SEMINAR
While attending a marriage seminar dealing with
communication, Tom and his wife, Grace, listened to
the instructor. "It is essential that husbands and
wives know the things that are important to each other."
He addressed the man, "Can you describe your wife's
favorite flower?"
Tom leaned over, touched his wife's arm gently and
whispered, "It's Pillsbury, isn't it?" The rest of
the story gets rather ugly so I'll stop right here.
5. CIGARETTES AND TAMPONS
A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up and down
the aisles. The sales clerk notices him and asks if
she can help him.. He answers that he is looking for
a box of tampons for his wife. She directs him down
the correct aisle.
A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton
balls and a ball of string on the counter, She says,
confused, "Sir, I thought you were looking for some
tampons for your wife.."
He answers, "You see, it's like this.
Yesterday, I sent my wife to the store to get me a
carton of cigarettes and she came back with a tin of
tobacco and some rolling papers 'cause it's soooooooooooo
much cheaper. I figure if I have to roll my own, so
does she." (I figure this guy is the one on the milk carton.)
6. JUST A FEW MORE FOR THE ROAD
A couple drove down a country road for several miles,
not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to
an argument and neither wanted to concede their position.
As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats,and pigs,
the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?"
"Yes" the wife replied. "In-laws."
7. AND GOD CREATED WOMAN
A man said to his wife one day, I don't know how you
can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time."
The wife responded "Allow me to explain. God made me
beautiful so you would be attracted to me. God made me
stupid so I would be attracted to you."
posted on September 1, 2004 08:55:57 PM new
Yellowstone: I had to read that one out loud to get it. Verrrrry funny.
About the original message here, I think the Revenge item is the very best. A friend of our teenage son, years ago, for "fun" hid our remote. I tore the room apart looking for it, pulling books off the shelves, swearing, and of course we didn't know it had been deliberate hidden. A day later the friend called our son and said, You wanna know where your remote is? And he led us to it. That was a horrible thing to do, in my opinion!!!!
posted on September 1, 2004 09:02:57 PM new
Thanks, Bunni: after the night at work I had, I needed a good belly laugh. I even woke my wife up with it!!
In Christ,
Rick
Romans 9:1
"I am trying here to prevent anyone saying the really foolish thing that people often say about Him: "I'm ready to accept Jesus as a great moral teacher, but I do not accept His claim to be God." That is one thing we must not say. A man who was merely a man and said the sort of things Jesus said would not be a great moral teacher. He would either be a lunatic....or else he would be the devil of Hell. You must make your choice. Either this man was, and is, the Son of God: or else a madman or something worse. You can shut Him up for a fool, you can spit at Him and kill Him as a demon; or you can fall at His feet and call Him Lord and God. But let us not come with any patronizing nonsense about His being a great human teacher. He has not left that open to us. He did not intend to."
C.S. Lewis: "Mere Christianity"
It was making the rounds on email this morning at work:
