posted on November 28, 2004 01:17:51 PM new
The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.
One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.
As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell.
Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.
With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, " it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you, and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over.
The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct...leaving only Heaven thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."
posted on November 28, 2004 05:30:56 PM newwell none of the liberals here will be reading this thread...
Sure we are twelve.
Just think, if you'd gone to college Near might have been telling this story about your essay test.
I've seen that one before Near, but it's worth repeating. Thanks!
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Dick Cheney: "I have not suggested there's a connection between Iraq and 9/11..."
posted on November 28, 2004 08:24:50 PM new
Sorry twelve, I could have sworn you stated in a thread quite some time ago that you hadn't attended much college. My mistake.
Who are these "closet libs" ? The liberals I know don't hide the fact, as it is neither immoral nor illegal to be liberal, any more than it is to be conservative.
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Dick Cheney: "I have not suggested there's a connection between Iraq and 9/11..."
posted on November 29, 2004 05:14:04 AM new
If I recall this is the first time you have declared yourself a liberal profe... before you seemed to be pretty much on the fence.
posted on November 29, 2004 05:26:56 AM newIf I recall this is the first time you have declared yourself a liberal profe
Nothing in my question to you is a self declaration. I don't label myself; having some liberal, some conservative, and some moderate opinions about things. What I asked you was who the "closet liberals" are, and why they would hide their liberal-ness.
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Dick Cheney: "I have not suggested there's a connection between Iraq and 9/11..."
posted on November 29, 2004 08:16:54 PM new I think you are a closet liberal, that's all the answer you need...
No, that's all the answer you care to give. You still haven't told me what a "closet liberal" is. I'm guessing, since you use liberal as a dirty word, that you assume everybody does. That's it's something shameful, something that needs to be hidden and denied. Well, it's not. It's in your face, and you'll just have to deal with it, just like you'll have to deal with all the other ideologies and persuasions that exist which don't fit your little view. You can wish all you want for all the liberals, fags and non-christians to go hide in a closet and feel ashamed, but they ain't gonna do it pal...I have liberal opinions, often regarding social issues. Maybe that makes me a liberal. I also have very conservative opinions, most often regarding economic issues. That must make me a conservative. So, logically, if I'm a liberal, I must also be a conservative. Neither one is in the closet, they're both freely expressed here for all to see.
You can't answer my response logically, because your comment makes no sense to begin with.
Now, respond with an insult.
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Dick Cheney: "I have not suggested there's a connection between Iraq and 9/11..."
posted on November 30, 2004 05:11:24 AM new
Profe you are a closet liberal... it is something to be ashamed of if you are ashamed to admit it....
Look at your postings and that is all the answer you need... you with conservative views... the only one you're fooling with that statement is you.
Look how you have talked about your hispanic bretheren being chosen by President Bush...
Of course now that you're outed as a liberal... only shame is in your mind....
AIN'T LIFE GRAND...
[ edited by Twelvepole on Nov 30, 2004 05:15 AM ]
posted on November 30, 2004 05:34:34 AM new
"I'm guessing, since you use liberal as a dirty word, that you assume everybody does. That's it's something shameful, something that needs to be hidden and denied"
posted on November 30, 2004 07:50:15 PM newOf course now that you're outed as a liberal... only shame is in your mind....
I'm not ashamed of my liberal views 12, as much as you think I ought to be. Nor am I ashamed of my conservative opinions. If you can read, you won't deny that I've posted many conservative opinions on this board. You haven't "outed" me or anyone here.
Look at your postings and that is all the answer you need... you with conservative views... the only one you're fooling with that statement is you
There you go again, telling me something is "all the answer I need"...getting you off the hook for an answer of your own. What posts? Quote some, and for every one you quote I'll quote you another that is conservative. As much as it's convenient for your world view to pigeon-hole everyone here, anyone with a lick of sense can see that things aren't that simple.
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Dick Cheney: "I have not suggested there's a connection between Iraq and 9/11..."
posted on November 30, 2004 07:52:40 PM new
classicrock sez:
Well......ahhh no arguement in this corner
Not that I read every thread here, but so far, I haven't read anything you've posted so far that has risen above a smart ass remark at best and at worst, a childish troll. Go away.
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Dick Cheney: "I have not suggested there's a connection between Iraq and 9/11..."
posted on November 30, 2004 07:54:40 PM new
Sure profe that's your story you tell it however you want...
I get a kick out you libs squirming because I won't play your games...
posted on November 30, 2004 08:09:52 PM newSure profe that's your story you tell it however you want...
I plan to, as it is my story, not yours, just as you say.
I get a kick out you libs squirming because I won't play your games...
You seem to be playing this one pretty well...don't mind me, I just need to scoot over here and squirm for a while...
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Dick Cheney: "I have not suggested there's a connection between Iraq and 9/11..."
posted on December 1, 2004 03:55:24 AM new
classicrock sez:
Well......ahhh no arguement in this corner
Not that I read every thread here, but so far, I haven't read anything you've posted so far that has risen above a smart ass remark at best and at worst, a childish troll. Go away.
A childish troll???? well yes I am...but I thought you KNEW that. Tweleve-go beat up profe51, hes a meany-he called me names and even to me to go away!!...you know how sensitve I am.
[ edited by classicrock000 on Dec 1, 2004 03:57 AM ]
