posted on September 22, 2000 06:50:09 AM new
Still shaking my head in disbelief...as I read through AW posts I was listening to the morning news on TV. One of the stories was about a dirty, low-down, nefarious criminal who was on trial back east (Virginia I think). Yes, he got the full treatment from the justice system: lawyer, trial, judge, and jury of 12. Looking at him, I could see how his crimes had been etched in the lines of his face. Thank goodness we are being protected from the likes of him.
What brought this man to the attention of the criminal justice system? What crime did he commit? Brace yourself. Sit down if a chair is handy. The is man...this man was a (gulp) bread squeezer! Yes, he had been caught by store surveillance cameras several times squeezing bread & rolls to test for freshness. The store brought suit against him for this.
And will he pay for his crimes? Well, partly. The jury said that he was not guilty of damaging any bread, but that he'd have to pay for the rolls.
posted on September 22, 2000 07:59:56 AM new
I believe that the jury acted fairly. You have to draw the line somewhere. Sure, today the victims were “bread and rolls”, but can you imagine what this may have escalated to if these tendencies were allowed to flourish unfettered? What if this man had been elected to the presidency and been exposed to the incitements of nubile interns in a moment of weakness...
Quite possibly this jury has saved the nation, and possibly the world, from horrific events we can only imagine!
On a related note (from the local home-town gazette):
“Two men, both age 22, were arrested by Sheriff’s officers after they were observed emptying cans of Ready-Whip into their mouths and placing the empty cans back on the shelves.”
posted on September 22, 2000 08:42:15 AM new
“Bread squisher” trial continues
BUCKS COUNTY, Pa. Sept. 21 - The case of the so-called “bread squisher” is now in the hands of a Bucks County jury. A man is on trial after being accused of squeezing and damaging thousands of dollars worth of bread and cookies.
posted on September 22, 2000 12:35:45 PM new
The surveillance tapes show this guy casually lifting up a loaf here and there and giving it a slight squeeze (they showed a couple this morning). when he put them back on the shelf they did not look mangled at all. Now, with loaves of bread costing around $1.50 (more for "healthier" types), to get *thousands* of dollars worth damaged, this guy would have had to be on a rampage through the bread area. They did say this took place over *years*--but if the guy was doing so much damage, why did they wait years to do something about it?
Just sounds idiotic to me--wonder how much the trial ended up costing the state?
edited cuz "should" isn't the same as "showed"
[ edited by bunnicula on Sep 22, 2000 01:11 PM ]
posted on September 22, 2000 12:50:53 PM new
How about all the grocery packers who smash the bread that people buy? I think that is an outrage. It has been years since I have gotten a package of hamburger buns home with all of them in good shape. Of course, being the mom, I get the smashed one.
Why, just yesterday the kid who packed my groceries put a cantelope on top of my peaches. I'm telling you, I almost called the cops.
Edited to ask, is there an url to this story? I would love to share it with a friend of mine. It sounds like something that would be on www.theonion.com
posted on September 22, 2000 01:19:20 PM new
Bunnicula, it doesn't matter that the baked goods did not appear damaged. You don't know how they felt, do you? How would you like to be squeezed, then shelved? Then eaten by someone else?
This man is a Serial Bun Bruiser, and I'm glad the long arm of the law finally caught up with him.
