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 toomanycomics
  		posted on October 5, 2000 07:19:33 AM new
(I'll be post quite a bit of stuff on this thread)

Firestone executives say they stand behind their tires. They wouldn’t live long standing in front of them.

Do you know the punishment for bigamy? Two mothers-in-law.

A local humane society had an overabundance of cats, and to deal with the surplus they posted a notice: "Laptops Available. Mouse not included."

When coins fell into the batter, it turned out to be a rich cake.
 
 enchanted
  		posted on October 5, 2000 07:48:37 AM new
LOL at the two mothers-in-law joke

 
 mouseslayer
  		posted on October 5, 2000 08:52:00 AM new
Love the cat one


~~MouseSlayer is not a cat =^..^= ~~
Yes, I'm MouseSlayer everywhere. It's a great name, so I use it!
 
 corrdogg
  		posted on October 5, 2000 09:17:57 AM new
toomany...





George Carlin Quotes

1. Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.
2. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
3. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
4. If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have
monkeys and apes?
5. The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
6. I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section? "She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.
7. What if there were no hypothetical questions?
8. If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?
9. If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him...is he still wrong?
10. If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?


 
 Meya
  		posted on October 5, 2000 06:27:32 PM new
Did you hear the one about the two cannibals eating the clown?

The one cannibal says to the other cannibal, "Hey, does this taste funny to you?"
 
 tismesugie
  		posted on October 5, 2000 06:40:46 PM new
How about the response the blonde made to her doctor when informed she was pregnant:

"Really? Are you sure it's mine?"

 
 toomanycomics
  		posted on October 6, 2000 06:36:56 AM new

here's some more I found:

Armor: A knight gown

Gossip: A person with a keen sense of rumor.

Diplomacy: Lying in state.

Loiter: Not now

Crowbar: Where birds can get a drink


Thanksgiving is over one month away, but I've already prepared the stuffing. No wonder I have so much thyme on my hands.
 
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