posted on October 8, 2000 11:30:31 AM new
You know how that saying goes...
My mother and stepdad have been visiting since last Monday, more days than the 3 day fish rule, lol
I really love my mom buuuuuuuuuuut...
I'm tired of her following me in my kitchen, and putting things away in the wrong place in a futile attempt to help, and bickering with her husband in front of my children, and scolding my children for bickering with each other, and favoring my younger son, and humiliating my older son in front of his friends, and waking me up bright and early with a full day's itinerary before I have my first cup of coffee (Oh NO! lol), and coming into my office where I'm WORKING to chat about her friend's uncle's cousin's dog's former owner's daughter's great-aunt..."you met her once in 1968, do you remember her? Her brother lives on Oahu and he's single, hint hint", and asking me what I'm doing, and asking me when I'm going to be done...(um I would get done sooner if you would leave my space, lol), and unwinding the dog's cable so that she traipses into the house and eats my son's legos and knocks things off the table, and playing schoolteacher (she retired from 30 years of elementary teaching but you'd never know she was retired), and reading newspaper articles to me that are of no interest to me, and asking where places are that she has no interest in finding...just to know..., and asking for translations on every Hawaiian word she sees, and bringing back more gawdawful overpriced things from garage sales that she thinks I can sell on eBay and make a fortune with, etc etc etc.
posted on October 8, 2000 01:29:20 PM new
Kihiecat---your Mother sounds like a treasure! Try Try Try to overlook all those nagging things and remember she loves you dearly. And---she will be going home soon
Not to make this sound worse than it acutally is--but my Mom quit visiting when I moved into my new home that has but one BR on the second floor. Old home--steep steps---to unmanageble for an 80 something Mom. Now---I miss her visits and those budinsky comments. Oh well.
posted on October 8, 2000 01:44:15 PM new
We stay in a hotel whenever we visit ANYbody. I need a good 10 hours sleep in a comfortable bed or I get seriously ill, so sacking out on somebody's sofa is not an option. (My delicate health is also a great excuse to leave a boring cocktail party.)
Our guest room (also my workroom) is intentionally microscopic. So whenever we HAVE guests, we rent a suite for a weekend in New Orleans and "entertain" the crowd there. By the time it's over and we get back to Hart Cottage, they're too tired to misbehave and are only to happy to head off to the beach every day to sleep it off.
[ edited by HartCottageQuilts on Oct 8, 2000 01:45 PM ]
posted on October 8, 2000 04:45:36 PM new
I hope there aren't any snakes in that rainforest.
Sounds like your mother is excited to be back in the "mother" role, and is just doing what came naturally way back when. It sounds like she's very happy to see you all and I bet she feels pretty good. If you can keep from letting her know she's getting on your nerves, you get a big mitzvah in the daughter department.
Just think--one day you'll be the one visiting your sons' homes, feeding their children forbidden breakfast foods and reading them articles you know they need to hear... It'll happen!
posted on October 8, 2000 09:55:10 PM new
HCQ 10 hours of sleep sounds like a dream to me!
Pareau, great reply on so many levels... I'm already preparing my kids for when I'm "old and stupid", lol. And believe me I have been doing my best to bite my tongue with my mom, sometimes not so successfully but for the most part I've been faring pretty well. But if she forces me into one more cute little gift shop I'm gonna blow, lol
And thankfully there are no snakes in Hawaii at all so no worries about snakes in the forest...it is beautiful there though and I really needed to hear the rushing streams and feel the mountain breeze...I think I can put up with her for another couple of days now
posted on October 8, 2000 11:57:17 PM newKiheicat Your mom story cracks me up. Mine lives just far enough away to not pop in a lot - but close enough to drive back home. We planned it that way.
posted on October 9, 2000 08:14:44 AM newkihiecat:
Enjoy Mom while you have her. There will come a time when you would give anything to have her “following you into the kitchen, putting things away in the wrong place, ... (and) chatting about her friend's uncle's cousin's dog's former owner's daughter's great-aunt..."
Take a deep breath and try to look beyond all the frustrations you feel at the moment. She is your mother and she loves you and you are spending time together. You won’t change her at this point, so just accept her for what she is and does.
As far as your future relationship with your children -- I think that we are not all “doomed” to repeat behavior that we find less than charming in our own parents. I believe that the single greatest gift a parent can give a child is to treat them in a manner that is appropriate for their age. When they are children you should not treat them as adults and when they are adults you should not treat them as though they are children. Unfortunately, that seems to be a very elusive goal (or no goal at all!) for great many parents. Mothers seem to have an exceptionally difficult time with this concept. Too busy “mothering” I suppose...
It sounds as though you have a good take on things so I’m sure that this visit is survivable. To borrow a line from the movie “Home for the Holidays” where Claudia (Holly Hunter) is talking to her 16-year old daughter and bewailing her dysfunctional family, her daughter tells her: “Just float Mom...”
(BTW – great movie! We watch it every Thanksgiving)
(edit for UBBoo-Boo)
[ edited by corrdogg on Oct 9, 2000 08:18 AM ]
posted on October 9, 2000 04:34:27 PM new
As I posted here before, my daughter, 4 1/2 year old grandson, and their dog (which makes three!) are staying with us while she goes through a divorce. My husband and I had a very nice, tidy, neat life, AND home. Now it's a circus. My poor husband, who has never raised his voice in my presence in the three years we have been married (Wednesday is our anniversary) is showing his last nerve. He adores my grandson (this isn't his daughter) but after awhile it just gets to be too much. We feel like we've raised our kids and now it's OUR time. But nooooo. And my daughter was a REAL PISTOL growing up. She put me through the wringer during her teen years. And now she's back with a son who is just like her! I love them both, but they are making us nuts. My husband and I locked ourselves in our bedroom last night just to watch t.v. alone for awhile! AAAUUUGGGHHHH!!
posted on October 9, 2000 06:36:46 PM new
Wow Muriel... at least my visitor has a time limit, lol. She'll be gone tomorrow. Your visitor might have no time limit...
You're a good mom
