posted on October 19, 2000 07:05:28 AM new
Here's a list of good things to say next time you get pulled over and the officer says, "Do you know why I pulled you over?"
1) I suppose you wanted to compliment me on my car.
2) Wow, you must have been going pretty fast to keep up with me.
3) Is that a rhetorical question?
4) Speeding? That's a harsh term, I'd rather call it "priority driving."
5) You probably pulled me over to collect on those three tickets I haven't paid in Wyoming.
6) I don't know why you pulled me over, but I do know that I haven't bathed today. Do you guys have showers in the jailhouse?
7) You probably pulled me over because you could tell I needed a hug. I don't care what they say, you guys are great.
8) I don't know why you pulled me over, but please don't look in the trunk.
9) Is that powdered sugar on your shirt or are you just happy to see me?
10) I don't know why you pulled me over. In fact, I'm so drunk I don't know much.
posted on October 19, 2000 02:53:26 PM new
Had to smile at #1. Whenever we make the trip to New Orleans in Val's '66 Mustang, we ALWAYS get pulled over. And it's never for anything other than to tell her what a nice car she's got.
Annoying, but things are quiet in Lower Alabam' these days. I bet it's the only fun these guys get. (And the Mustang is a beauty.)
posted on October 27, 2000 07:35:57 PM new
LOL!! here's a joke:
A farmer got pulled over by a state trooper for speeding, and the trooper started to lecture the farmer about his speed, and in general began to throw his weight around to try to make the farmer uncomfortable.
Finally, the trooper got around to writing out the ticket, and as he was doing that he kept swatting at some flies that were buzzing
around his head. The farmer said, "Having some problems with circle flies there, are ya?"
The trooper stopped writing the ticket and said--"Well yeah, if that's what they are--I never heard of circle flies". So the farmer says--
"Well, circle flies are common on farms. See, they're called circle flies because they're almost always found circling around the
back end of a horse."
The trooper says, "Oh," and goes back to writing the ticket. Then after a minute he stops and says, "Hey...wait a minute, are you trying to call me a horses ass?"
The farmer says, "Oh no, officer. I have too much respect for law enforcement and police officers to even think about calling you a horses ass."
The trooper says, "Well, that's a good thing," and goes back to writing the ticket.
After a long pause, the farmer says, "Hard to fool them flies though."
Edited because copying and pasting doesn't guarantee the punctuation will show up where it should.
[ edited by shellsputer on Oct 27, 2000 07:38 PM ]
