posted on March 20, 2001 08:51:44 PM new
There's a thread on EO about a headstone that brought to mind an experience I had at our local Goodwill.
I was browsing amongst the doo dads and glassware, when I came upon a framed display that had several gold, silver and bronze medals in it. Intrigued, I picked the item up and read what was inscribed on the medals, they were from the Senior Olympics in 1988. This grandma had entered into several events and actually won medals. I could just envision the fiesty lady, full of determination as she power walked that last 20 steps to win that race. I could hear, in my mind, the cheers from the other elderly that had come to watch and participate. Then I thought about how that plaque had come to be there, the fiesty old granny had lost her biggest race. Her family had come and rooted through all of her belongings, taking what they thought was worth the most. Fighting over that painting that had hung over the couch. When the family got to the display with granny's medals in it, they could not see or could not care that it was one of HER most prized possessions. They tossed it aside along with her walker. I got so depressed there, holding that departed woman's accomplishments in my hand, I had to leave the store before I started crying. It was some time before I could go back in there.
Anything like that ever happen to anyone else out there?
posted on March 20, 2001 08:59:48 PM new
Yes. At estate sales. I hate them. People rummaging around in private things. Things loved by the deceased. I avoid them whenever possible. Only there if spouse insists I go.
posted on March 20, 2001 09:01:39 PM newDo you ever get sad?
sugar2912 I wasn't sad til I read your post....I'm just kidding. Think about it this way. If she's in a place where she doesn't need those medals anymore - then she REALLY doesn't need them! I'm betting she's got something even better now.
posted on March 20, 2001 09:04:45 PM new
Since I feel this way about estate sales, nobody is to get anything I leave behind. Only the spouse. Not the children. Not friends. Period. Then burn me and toss my ashes in the ocean.
I saw a really nice looking frame on top of a shelf at a thrift store, and took it down. Inside was a beautiful poem someone had written about their dog that had passed away.
There was even a picture of the old dog at the top of the page. It brought back painful memories of losing a cherished pet, and upset me, and I didn't feel like browsing any more after that.
posted on March 20, 2001 09:12:33 PM new
I sometimes do searches on ebay of my last name. Once an old photo came up. I didn't recognize it. It could have been a distant relative. I felt as if this person was lost. Who does he belong to? My son and I made up stories about who he was by what he wore and how he looked. I wanted to bid just so I could give him a home...
posted on March 20, 2001 10:05:04 PM new
It seems to me that in situations like this quite a few people don't take into consideration that the "little old grandma", may not have been a grandma at all...who is to say that there was no family left to "pass" these things to. Same goes for estate sales..a lot of the ones we have around here are the "last of the line" types...there ARE no family members to take momentos, etc.
I am the last of MY line, as there is no one to carry on the family name...my niece never even KNEW her grandfather..so who is going to care about the family heirlooms I have left when I go?...NO ONE!
I have tried to convey some of my family history to the "steps", but they have only a fleeting interest at this age (16 & 19)...maybe later they will, but I won't hold my breath.
Keith
I assume full responsibility for my actions, except
the ones that are someone else's fault.
posted on March 21, 2001 07:24:13 AM new
It used to upset me to go to estate sales and see everyone rummaging through some dead person's personal stuff. But, I try to think of it now in a different way. This person is gone and for whatever reason their family doesn't want these items. So--how to find new loving homes for the stuff grandma loved? An estate sale or yard sale. True, much of it may be bought to be resold, but at some point it ends up proudly sitting on someone else's shelf where it is once again loved and taken care of. (It still bothers me though when I hear people laughing at something at an estate sale like "Boy, that old woman had the worst taste! This is the ugliest XXX I ever saw--can't imagine why she didn't throw it out years ago!" That's the scenario that bothers me when thinking of the estate sale my family will have!) Otherwise--let them come and buy. I won't want it where I'm going, and someone else can enjoy it while they're here. That's also where selling on e-bay etc. is so nice--maybe there's only one other person in the world who wants those old senior olympic medals because they lost theirs in a fire, etc. Think how happy they will be when they find similar ones up for sale.
posted on March 21, 2001 09:29:47 AM new
You never see vultures getting sad as they pick apart a dead animal. And why should they? The dead animal furnishes them with food, keeps them alive for another day. Look at it that way. It's survival. Besides, would the dead person really feel better if all their things were thrown on the garbage heap? Or would they gain at least some comfort in knowing that their stuff wound up with people who really appreciate it?
On second thought, maybe the vulture analogy isn't appropriate. Vultures are far more calm and less competitive than people at an estate sale. Then again, vultures don't have to take numbers and stand around in the cold for three hours waiting for the doors to open.
posted on March 21, 2001 10:31:22 AM new
It is a little sad, but more than anything I think it's great that items can be "recycled" when the person who owns them no longer wants or needs them, and off they go to the auction or the estate sale or the thrift shop. Other people buy them and the chunks of someone's life become redistributed for others to enjoy.
I've always wished I could know what happens to the stuff I give to Goodwill. It would be so much fun to know who ends up buying it, where it goes, and what purpose it ends up filling. "My stuff" is all over the place! Who is wearing the clothes I donated? What house is that lamp hanging in now? I'd love to be able to peek into its new life.
The medals may have been special to Grandma, but whoever gave them to Goodwill probably treasures her memory more than anything. They kept that and passed along the medals to someone else who will enjoy them.
posted on March 21, 2001 12:49:55 PM new
I used to go to lots of estate auctions, and they can be horrible -- especially when they are selling things like half-rolls of toilet paper, used soap, etc.
But the worst one was an auction where they were selling all the above things, and then some -- one of the items was a very large sewing basket full of stuff. When the auctioneer started pulling stuff out of the basket he was finding those little airplane liquor bottles.
I felt so sorry for the owner of that sewing basket. The worst part was the woman was not dead -- she had been installed in a nursing home by her kids and I know would have been mortified that half the town had seen her "stash."
posted on March 21, 2001 01:11:00 PM new
OK, *now* I'm sad. To be put in a nursing home and have your stuff auctioned off, not to mention uncovering stuff like that, well, that's just awful. Like being dead before you're really dead.
posted on March 21, 2001 01:39:08 PM new
It strikes me that there's a real dichotomy here. With the exception of those who sell new stuff, we are all selling used items. "Used items." That indicates that someone else has previously owned, used, earned, loved, labored for, and even prized said items. All of them. Yet, it seems that many who deal in these items feel that it is inherently wrong because these items have been previously owned, used, earned, loved, labored for, and even prized.
posted on March 21, 2001 02:30:36 PM new
Hello, what made me sad actually very angry was a few years ago my oldest daughter was getting married and her husband could not afford to give her any rings so I had a beautiful set that belonged to me that her father gave me when we got married that I someday wanted to give to my daughter (I had two daughters from that marriage). Well the daughter got a divorce and was in a bad way and needed some money so her stepmother asked for the rings to see what she could get for them, my daughter gave the rings to my X=husbands wife (her stepmother to see if she could sell them. Rather than the stepmother call me to say my daughter gave them to her did I possible want them back for some $$..anyways the woman sold them for about $200.00 they were appraised at over $3,000.00 now my daughter wants to know can she have some of the diamonds that my mother left for me when she died....my answer...NO...you didn't take care of mine why should I give you my mothers...still inquiring about her grandmothers diamonds I told her when I am dead...better yet maybe I'll take them with me.
posted on March 21, 2001 02:33:50 PM new
No, the saddest thing is to go to an estate sale where the owner is in a nursing home or died with no relatives and everything there is junk. Not picked over junk, just junk.
I have said to my hubby, don't let this happen to me! If I've sold all the good stuff (on ebay,of course!) or given it to the kids, don't you dare have a sale and let people know/think I never had anything in life but junk! Burn it!
posted on March 21, 2001 02:34:28 PM new
One of the sadist things I ever saw at an estate auction was when they were auctioning off a wedding ring set.The bidding went high and when it was finally sold the auctioneer gave it to a woman who was crying.I found out after the auction that they were her mothers rings and that everything that the mother had owned had been taken by a nursing home and her children had to buy anything they wanted keep of hers.
posted on March 21, 2001 02:48:11 PM new
bunnicula -- I never knew anyone who kept a small collection of liquor bottles hidden in the bottom of a sewing basket? And some were empty? Maybe it's a wrong assumption, it would be nice if she really collected them.
RainyBear -- yes they do! They pile up huge lots and people buy them for a quarter or fifty cents. I have no clue what they do with all that junk. I also don't go to those auctions any more -- the last one I went to had a family bible with a huge family tree in it and the person who bought it in a box lot threw it in the trash. I couldn't believe no one in the family was interested, but perhaps there was no family. I never thought of that.
