posted on June 18, 2001 09:30:29 PM new
Just sitting here feeling blue because my middle child left home today. She graduated this year and has a summer job in a nearby town, and then will move to college this fall. Today I helped her move her stuff to a home she's sharing with 5 other girls while she works this summer job. I know, I know--children grow up and move away (and they should!) but I just feel sad tonight. There's still one child left at home, and I look forward to the extra time with my husband, but tonight...well tonight I just feel bad. (Sigh.)
posted on June 19, 2001 01:07:22 AM new
Sounds like you are normal nice people. Funny you should post this when the column I read today in Dear Abby or Ann - I forget which - was about a 34 year old who still lives at home and was invited to visit a man some distance away but her mother wanted to send two people along to chaperone. Do you know she expressed the idea that she is concerned that nobody is every going to be good enough for Mommy? Where do kids get these ideas?
posted on June 19, 2001 07:41:15 AM new
joycel, do not be sad, be PROUD!...She finished school, got a job, a place to live & will be movin' on to college in the fall. Your relationship with her will change now that she is outta the house, but with any luck it will grow into a mature friendship. You are very lucky!
posted on June 19, 2001 10:57:34 AM new
I am very proud, and feeling better today. But--it's the same reason we moms cry at weddings, at graduations, at births, etc. You know you should be happy, you are proud of them, but...you also know things will never be the same again. After looking at it from a brighter perspective this morning (one should never stay up too late on the computer...alone in the dark) I think mainly it's a feeling of displacement. You've been the primary care-giver-watcher-overer for the past 18 years, and then--zippo--they're gone. You hope that somewhere in those 18 years you've given them the kind of upbringing they need but--for the mom (and maybe dads too, but I think mostly moms) it's kind of like somebody cut off your little pinkie. Sure, you can live without it--you really didn't need it around anyway (and, you know it's having a great time out there playing and learning with the other little pinkies,) but--you sure do miss it.
posted on June 19, 2001 11:44:33 AM new
Joycel - you may have lost your "little" girl. But you've gained a friend. My mom and I have the best relationship now that I am a grown up. I always loved her but now I understand her. It's amazing. Congrats on raising a nice, responsible daughter the world needs more of us!
When my son left for basic combat training I cried for three weeks because he wasn't allowed to contact us for that length of time.
I soon got fairly used to the idea of him being away and then college loomed.
He went off to college, but we keep in touch via IM and telephone and we've seen such a dramatic change in him. He's really grown up to be a man, instead of the little boy who left me crying at the recruiter's office in August.
He's away for two weeks reserve duty now and his girlfriend calls every night to see if I'd heard from him. (He told her if he was to get one phone call it would be to me, not her.) Now I have to comfort her.
You'll soon get used to being without her - but remember she'll be back soon -laundry, food, money- they all seem to run out when they live alone. (even with roomies)
posted on June 20, 2001 12:26:22 PM new
The first weekend my daughter came home from college, she brought a ton of laundry with her. I asked if she didn't have a laundry facility on campus and she said sure she did, she just felt it was better to bring it (3 weeks of dirty clothes) home. She left the duffle bag in the laundry room and went about her weekend. Sunday afternoon when she was ready to leave she asked if everything was packed back up in the duffle. I looked at her and asked,
"Was I supposed to do your laundry?"
She grumbled a bit and said no, she would do it, but now she'd be late getting back. Oh well, such is a lesson to be learned.
Never again did she take for granted that I would do her laundry. She also used to bring home her roommates laundry. Now she's back home and still does her own.
My son, when he comes home, also does his own laundry and ironing (military style). He has more cans of spray starch than I ever had, bought himself a $75 iron, and irons everything just right.
