posted on April 15, 2001 05:21:39 PM new
As a rule, I generally leave feedback on the vast majority of my customers. But in the past few weeks, I've had one customer who has driven me well beyond my usual breaking point.
Seconds after the auction ended, he emailed me w/detailed instructions on how I was supposed to pack & ship his item (this wasn't plates, btw) but a simple clothing item. This wasn't done pleasantly either but rudely & condescending the entire way, lecturing & not asking, but demanding.
I was peeved but decided not to let it get the best of me. Until I got the item out the door, he emailed me as many as 6 times a night, some seconds apart, demanding this & that & lecturing me constantly on how he was a powerseller & knew how to do things.
Okay, I'm not a powerseller, but neither am I a newbie. I have over 1000 auctions under my belt & my feedback is always full of compliments on my packaging & customer service.
At one point, it became SO obnoxious, even my husband (a man so laid back, he probably qualifies as clinically dead most days) even demanded I tell him to take a hike.
I shipped & had a few days of calm, then when I saw his email start popping up again, I almost had chest pains. He got the item & ((surprise) managed to get out his electron microscope & find a few flaws but really couldn't find enough for even him to justify returning the item.
Now, I'm getting demands from him for feedback. Not requests, DEMANDS. A review of the feedback he's gotten & left indicates he has a history of demanding feedback first, then leaving a neg if he's the slightest bit displeased.
I've had a few difficult customers along the way & managed to continue to deal w/them on a professional level. But this guy has stomped on every nerve not once, but twice.
I really don't have a kind thing to say about this transaction, other than he paid & even that wasn't a pleasant experience. I really want to leave a big fat neg saying, "Most demanding & rude customer I've ever had" but know that's not the right thing either.
Though it's not my nature, I've managed to respond to every one of his emails in a calm & professional way at one huge cost to my sanity. I tried to type w/happy hands but all they wanted to do was get around this throat.
Ever just NOT leave feedback for a customer or buyer who just drove you to the point of screaming?
So help me out here. My husband says ignore him & don't leave feedback if I can't leave a sincere positive. I am having a real moral war over this one. If I end up w/a neg over this, I'll take it & just be glad to get this person on customer block!
posted on April 15, 2001 05:26:05 PM new
Perhaps just leave a positive that says 'paid' - he may get the point (or he could just start more e-mails!!!)
I think I would just ignore any more requests and leave no feedback whatsoever... What's the worst he can do? Leave a negative saying you didn't leave feedback? He would come across as a whiney baby
posted on April 15, 2001 05:29:51 PM new
Tell him you're tired of leaving feedback for people who don't leave it in return, so now you leave it only for people who leave it for you first. Then if he leaves it for you, leave him a comment like "Transaction completed."
posted on April 15, 2001 05:37:32 PM new
I did want to add that my moral dilemna isn't over whether to leave him a neg. Just whether to not leave feedback at all or leave him something like pharlap suggested.
I'm sure if I do the latter, I'll get another round of emails lecturing me on how I don't "understand" the feedback process.
Actually, I'm a bit surprised he didn't just dictate what my feedback to him was supposed to say..he's dictated everything else including how to properly address his package. Guess he thinks because I'm in the South, I don't have all my teeth & never learned to print.
edited because I shouldn't just single out one state.
[ edited by eventer on Apr 15, 2001 05:52 PM ]
posted on April 15, 2001 05:37:51 PM new
I like very much what spazmodeus has suggested as it kind of puts the ball back in your court. Then he knows if he negs you he can get one back.
"I tried to type w/happy hands but all they wanted to do was get around this throat."
posted on April 15, 2001 05:49:35 PM newI am tired of people abusing the feedback system...
...which includes YOU eventer for not leaving this person a very well deserved neg. You are enabling him to go on to yet another unsuspecting Ebayer and pull the same crap.
Feedback is not just about whether or not you were paid, it's about the WHOLE transaction, INCLUDING how you were treated.
I'm sure MANY users, incliding myself, would rightfully shy away from someone like this---if they could only be warned AHEAD of time.
That's where YOU come in.
Your quote: "Most demanding & rude customer I've ever had" was perfect and to the point.
Why on Earth have you decided that it "is not the right thing".
posted on April 15, 2001 05:52:48 PM new
Eventer: I had a similiar situation on an auction that was vintage paper brochure. His response to my end of auction notice began with his "instructions" to me on packing, etc. I attempted to take with a grain of salt since his feedback was under 10 and that he might have had a previous bad experience. After he advised me that he received it in good order, he started to question my "under 25 positive feedback pay by money order" policy and feedback policy. His e-mails became more impolite, demanding and argumentative which I avoided at all costs. I advised him I'd been on eBay since the summer of 1997 with nearly 1000 positives and I wasn't going to discuss my hard earned and learned business practice (this was more than I should have ever told him anyways). Since he said he received the item in good order, I just never left any feedback. An ebay transaction might be a business contract and I treat it as such. A contract is when BOTH parties are mutually satisfied.
posted on April 15, 2001 05:53:08 PM new
our sweet innocent {{{eventer}}}.
Don't you remember how the other children (or course not you or I) would play that game, what was it called? oh yeah.
"I'll show you mine if you show me yours"
don't let the turkeys get you down
only ZOOMIN here
posted on April 15, 2001 06:11:27 PM new
I leave fb for 98% of my transactions - buying and selling. But...I do withhold fb if I can't find anything nice to say - and don't really have firm grounds for a neg or neutral. If the item is not as advertised but not so far off that someone couldn't stretch it to cover the situation, i.e. "denim" dress that is sort of denim blue lightweight cotton; someone says they will ship media mail to save me $ over priority - but then charges $3 for a $1.30 rate; someone quotes actual shipping for media mail on a thin pb as $2.10 and sticks to it; a buyer who is demanding, rude and takes a month to pay me, etc...in those cases, I just skip it because I don't have grounds for a neg/neutral - but I'm not happy.
And here I'd take SUCH pains to NOT point out it was a Canadian bidder.
laptopper
Would you REALLY cancel someone's bid in your auction or refuse to sell to someone if they had a neg for being a "rude" or "demanding" bidder?
We ALL have demanding bidders & sellers from time to time.
Leaving a neg might give me a momentary feeling of "gotcha" but as zoomin said, it's just playing a game & it's a game neither side wins.
There's 2 sides to every story & perhaps this person had been burned earlier & felt the need to be so demanding. Or maybe that's just the way they are & they don't realize how they come across.
I can't remotely justify a neg in this. If I'd been face to face w/this person, I'd have told them I wasn't in such dire straits to need a $10 sale this badly.
Whoops! edited to say it wasn't REALLY a Canadian bidder..just had to harass Bill
[ edited by eventer on Apr 15, 2001 06:27 PM ]
You are no different than the person who leaves retaliatory feedback, in that your behavior (or lack thereof) contributes to the perverting of the feedback system.
The integrity of the feedback is only as good as it's accuracy. You are corrupting that by having such an attitude.
And yes, I may think about canceling a bidder with this type feedback. HOWEVER, whether or not I do is not the point. This is about making an INFORMED decision, which is impossible to do with INVISIBLE negatives---that is negs that are deserved, but aren't given because someone is either too afraid or too wishy-washy to do it.
For the record:
I have a rating of (2035)
I have received:
2454 positives
15 neutals (13 NARU)
6 negatives (5 retaliatory)
I have left 2307:
2268 positives
18 neutrals
21 negatives
Early on I wasn't as efficient with leaving feedback, but it's much simpler to keep track of these days---so I ALWAYS leave feedback. THAT is the only way this system will retain ANY integrity at all.
Skipping feedback is chickening out on your duty to other users. You're not skipping leaving feedback because it was a positive experience, and I as a user would like to know about that.
And people wonder why many don't trust the feedback! Re-read this whole thread and you'll realize why!
posted on April 15, 2001 07:38:08 PM new
>>>this is starting to be a lot more than fun Bill!<<<
BILL:
what comes after the harassment?????
EVENTER:
whips & spurs & a riding crop
LAPTOPPER:
perverting
corrupting
ZOOMIN:
party on, dudes!!!!
but seriously...
LAPTOPPER:
admittedly, you state that "early on", you dealt with feedback differently. You found what works for you, which is Great.
I leave feedback on every transaction. That's what works for me. What works for EVENTER is Great, too, because it works for her.
There are fine lines drawn between eBay, a game, and RL. The lines are drawn to individual needs. Until eBay modifies its FB system, most of us have found our own comfort zone. The much awaited and heavily anticipated new system will hopefully not allow for what you refer to as "invisible negs". Time will tell.....
I wouldn't leave feedback until you received it...
The retaliatory isn't worth it - and think you'd get iteven or a neutral.
So - yeah - maybe I don't use the feedback system the way it was intended - but it does work for me - I've had one case that I haven't left feedback for where I should have left a whopping neg. Unfortunately, I didn't look up feedbacks this person had left until after the transaction was complete - and they were full of retaliatory negs - so I opted out.
I buy and sell on the same id, so I am hesitant to get an undeserved neg o a situation where I am the buyer.
I apparently didn't explain myself thoroughly enough.
I was indicating that in the early days, leaving feedback was more of a hassle--especially if you waited so long that ithe transaction wouldn't show up in My Ebay anymore. NOW, under "services" you can see ALL transactions (for the last 90 days) where feedback was not left. I wasn't aware of this back then.
It wasn't about what "worked" for me, it was about a lesser efficient system to leave feedback.
This is a lot different than shirking your responsability to rate a transaction.
Oh, and by the way, EBay is not a game when it's actual MONEY that is being lost because you didn't have fair warning that you were dealing with a scumbag.
posted on April 15, 2001 08:07:14 PM new
Anyone who has withheld negs deserves to be treated poorly. WHY? Because they are part of the problem---not the solution.
Takes real guts.
Yeah, look the other way, turn the other cheek. Let the next slob have to deal with the same BS.
posted on April 15, 2001 08:15:12 PM new
READ THIS ???
THIS IS WHAT I POST ON MY EBAY PAGE
FEEDBACK ON EBAY
We give feedback on Ebay once feedback is given. We have two reasons for giving feedback this way.
1)We are extremely busy packing orders, so we have created automated program that gives positive feedback when positive feedback is given to us.
2) We have sold for over two years on ebay. We have come to understand that Ebay's feedback system has some flaws in it. The biggest flaw we have seen is
We would leave feedback once the product was paid by the bidder. Some bidders would have unusual requests once the product would arrive. They would threaten to leave negative feedback , unless we gave in to the unusual demands.
What do we consider unusual demands.
a) bidder chooses not to insure product , it arrives damaged and they want a refund
b) bidders product does not arrive and they chose not to insure product & they want a refund. (please remember we will scan manifest to show product went out)
c) bidder is unhappy with the product and wants to return product and is not willing to pay for shipping back to origin
posted on April 15, 2001 08:22:51 PM new
You're barking up the wrong tree, laptop.
For the record:
(vranes)XXXXX has left 34 negative feedback(s).
That's 2.476% out of total 1373 feedback(s) left.
(eBay) 898 positives. 773 are from unique users.
1 neutrals. 0 are from users no longer registered.
4 negatives. 2 are from unique users.
note the discrepany ~ I've left 1373FB and only received 903. No "shirking" going on here.
Watch your attitude.
You are the one who ought to be ashamed.
I wasn't aware of this back then
you must have been shirking your responsibility, no?
how about:
Takes real guts.
And this new identity ~ no guts ~ TROLL!!!
Back off, eh?
[ edited by zoomin on Apr 15, 2001 08:25 PM ]
posted on April 15, 2001 08:23:12 PM new
If this was my customer I would not leave feedback. If he decided to leave me a positive I still would not leave feedback and if it drove him a bit crazier I would block his e-mails.
If you leave a negative it just leaves it open for responses "He said" "She said" "He did" "She did" and then one side usually lies or gets picky. So what is the point?
I don't usually check my bidder's feedback unless they seem to be a problem. If I checked his and he had a negative for being a demanding customer how do I know what that really means? By then he may have already won my auction and I have to deal with him anyways.
posted on April 15, 2001 08:35:25 PM new
OK folks - settle down. Please stick to discussing leaving feedback - there's no need for the personal digs.
laptopper
I notice you are newly registered today - welcome to AW. I suggest taking a little time to read the Community Guidelines before posting again - it's important that newly registered Users be aware of the rules they are expected to follow when participating in discussions at AW.
- he may get the point (or he could just start more e-mails!!!)
