posted on July 2, 2003 10:50:54 PM new
I would like some input from other sellers as to how they handle bidders who tell you they were in a car accicent, or grandmother died, or whatever else.
I seem to get way too many of these excuses, and personally am getting tired of it. A bidder was suspended by ebay for getting 3 NPB warnings. Then he goes out and pleads to other sellers to remove the NPB from his feedback. then he turns around and negs me. He didn't pay, he didn't email me for 3 weeks, and I sold the item to someone else. He emails me that he wants the NPB removed, and I explain to him that I would gladly do it if he furnishes proof (police report) for his accident. The reason why I requested this is because removing a warning gives ebay the opportunity to charge me the fees. I am I in the wrong for asking for this? I hate to be a dick, but damn, where do I draw the line?
posted on July 2, 2003 11:25:05 PM new
When I get these 'my wife died' types of emails I simply ignore them. The last thing you want to do is get caught up in a soap opera.
posted on July 3, 2003 12:53:43 AM new
Have you checked his bidding or selling record. During that time was he bidding on items. That is a good way to check.
If your a seller or a buyer you need a back up plan. Mine is listed in my about me page. If you can't get me by email then email my daughter she will know what to do. She also knows what to do with my auctions if need be. I don't know many who read that but that is a good place to stick your guarantee and emergency messages. If they don't see them then I think it is their fault.
posted on July 3, 2003 05:33:53 AM new
Sorry, but asking for "proof" is over the line...it may frustrate you, but it is a fact of doing business on eBay, you can't handle it, might want to look for a job that fits you better.
posted on July 3, 2003 07:37:42 AM new
I understand that people lie, but honestly, tragedies occur. Let's say in our 75 year lives, we lose 10 people very close to us, and experience 5 unanticipated accidents. That means about once every 5 years, this sort of thing happens, or once every 250 weeks. Since auctions typically last a week, the time between bidding and paying for an item is probably about 1/2 week.
Which means that for every 500 bidders, one of them will have experienced a tragedy before payment. Now, if your "sudden tragedy" rate is less than 1/500, consider yourself typical. If it's more like 1/100, you have a tendency to attract scum-sucking liars to your auctions. 'course, most bidders won't cancel due to tragedy, so the real rate is probably closer to 1/1000 or 1/2000. I have no idea how many auctions you run, but at 50 auctions/day, you should expect to see this "excuse" once a month, and none will be lying.
Keeping that in mind, when a bidder tels you that their mom just passed away, don't be a clod and ask for a death certificate-- just send along your condolonces and consider yourself to be so healthy and surrounded by wonderful friends and family. If they're lying, shame on them, but sometimes you have to let things go.
posted on July 3, 2003 07:57:22 AM new
what about some bidder who said money needed to buy airplane ticket to attend funeral of relative??
then a few days later said her dog finally died !!
she has to tell you that as she bidded on a large dog which looked just like her dog!!
posted on July 3, 2003 09:56:21 AM new
I'd have to agree with jrome. People will use any excuse to get themselves out of a situation...but what if they were telling the truth? Do you really want to chance that? In my opinion it isn't worth it. As Fluffy stated, if I experienced some sort of heart-rending tragedy, an ending auction would be low priority for me.
My opinion is to send condolences, then block bidder and move on. Do not bother with trying to remove a neg for the seller...if they are telling the truth, they most likely could care less.
"Who's tending the bar? Sniping works up a thirst"
posted on July 3, 2003 04:58:23 PM new
Here is the latest email I received today. It just doesn't end. lol.
"Please accept my apology. Payment hasn't yet been sent. My son ended up in the hospital for about 10 days and with the SARS situation in S. Ontario
and quarantines, it was easier just to stay with him. I never got home to send a payment..."
posted on July 3, 2003 06:21:17 PM new
Its hard to tell when people are genunine. Asking for proof is way arrogant and insulting, especially if the tragedy is real. You're not their boss, ya know.
posted on July 3, 2003 06:49:10 PM new
I would never ask for a death certificate, however, if I was in a car accident and I was booted off ebay, I wouldn't have any problems sending my info in to prove it.
I would think it is a legitimate request. You are absolutely right about me not being their boss. However, that isn't the issue here. Look at it this way, if my bank screwed up my bank account, and I received proof of it through a letter from the bank, you bet your ass I will be the first to show anyone who was affected by it to prove that it wasn't my fault. I don't want to pay extra fees, just like I wouldn't want to have a NPB warning on my account if it wasn't my fault. I still believe it is a legitimate bussiness transaction request.
posted on July 3, 2003 07:27:15 PM new
Just be thankful that you're healthy......unlike my last deadbeat......she had the misfortune to be kicked in the face by a horse(ouch)!!!....lost all her teeth, and caused a concussion.......she still wanted my item though 24 hours later but couldn't pay right away.......I let that pass with a laugh at the excuse and a "get well soon, pay me when you can"......then, a month later, she was on the way to the P.O to pay when she had a stroke.....bad luck.
posted on July 3, 2003 07:29:37 PM new
Rusty,
I know its hard to take a lump and move on. Its bothersome and I've been there, too....
But ya gotta figure, if these people were legit in the 1st place, they could have sent a email or something saying "having major life interrupion, but will get back with you" or something. Then maybe you would have waited before following the process?
Who knows? Maybe by your asking for such proof, it will deter them from lieing again. But if one does have an accident, your whole life is screwed for the week or two following; on the phone with insurance, figuring alternate transport, you left your glasses in the towed away car -- all that. As the other thread said in here; the last thing you are worried about is an auction payment. Not all the buyers are so into this as the sellers.
posted on July 3, 2003 08:03:30 PM new
Everyone has a story about an abvious liar. But has it ever happened to you?
I remember back when I was in college, I had 2 or 3 tests coming up on the same day or two. That morning, my grandmother passed away. I had to fly home for the next day's funeral, and I wanted to talk it over with my professor before hand. I might have spoken to one TA or another who I knew, or passed word along, and there is no story there.
But one professor I told in person, I can't remember why exactly-- maybe I had a late flight and went to class, who knows? I'm sure my face was racked with grief, and I was worried that he would make it difficult for me. In the end I was going home no matter what, and he would be a heartless bastard if he didn't understand.
Well, I went to tell him I couldn't be there for the test. Before I had a chance to tell him why, he probably read my face & demeanor and told me not to worry about it, we could discuss it when I returned. That was a tremendous relief, as I was worried about breaking down if I had to explain anything. I am grateful for that to this day, because for that moment in time, I realized how difficult these situations can be when they happen to you. I vowed to always give other people the same courtesy under similar circumstances.
So ya, pat yourself on the back when you call a bidder on one of these excuses-- you might be right 9/10 times, and I bet you save $2-3 a shot. But just keep in mind the additional pain you may be causing someone when you kick them while they're down.
Of course, a car accident isn't a death in the family, but please go out of your way to be kind to those in need. They will be thankful for it, they will remember it, and you'll feel better about yourself. I'm the biggest cynic I know, but I turn off that spigot when it's called for.
posted on July 3, 2003 08:35:11 PM new
jrome, my statistically correct friend...... to the second deviation from the norm....lighten up here......I'm sorry to hear about your grandma. I lost my favorite grandma 8 years ago. She's still dead. We're talking about how to deal with deadbeat excuses here. I don't advocate asking for police reports or death certificates, but I do advocate having a sense of humor......and the idea of asking for a death certificate is funny. Seriously, don't do it though. jrome is right.....1 out of 500 times you'll be throwing salt in the wound. The other 499 times it's a deadbeat. Just laugh at the excuses and move on.
posted on July 3, 2003 09:40:49 PM new
you could ask "where can I send a card too or flowers,You poor thing... I am so sorry this has happened. ect. ect.
Be caring and mean it.I have done so, and I sent a card.
You can also look on line for a death notice in newspapers.
I would NEVER ask for proof, all tho I have been tempted at times too. I think we all would at times.
posted on July 4, 2003 02:43:40 AM new
Sometimes you can tell if a bidder is lying. Had 2 this month. I knew they were lying because...
one of the bidder claimed her grandmother died. Checked the feedback, she had a grandmother die this month, then one 6 month, then one 3 years ago, then one 1 1/2 years ago, she is also NARU right now, and I didnt file anything! )O:
One bidder claimed because of the 9/11 tragedy, her job required her to move. However 9/11 made her move this month, and checking feedback, 9/11 was to blame for her getting a negative 2 month ago, 5 month ago, a year ago, etc.
posted on July 4, 2003 11:35:50 AM new
Well, this guy got NARU'd, yet had a perfect feedback rating until I nailed him with a neg. Meaning that they burned two others. He claimed it was one seller who he bought 2 items from. Guess what? He has never purchased two items from the same person. I go with my instinct. When I sense, or even better, find someone lying to me, I have no problem asking for proof of their situation. I know they won't furnish it to me, because they can't. It never happened, it never existed, etc.
I probably come across as a hard ass, but I can tell you this. Only 2 of the 17 negs I received were deserved. I screwed up majorly twice in 4 years. I have over 3000 positives. I'm not crying about getting a neg. I am a bit frustrated with the recent increase in retaliatory deadbeats who cry foul because they had a tragedy. HELLO... If I had a car accident, or had a death in the family, or 9/11 struck my town, I would be more concerned about that, then getting a neg. I would email the person and apologize for the error, but I would also understand that they couldn't wait forever from someone who never emailed them. I would feel the need to retaliate. Instead, I would ask that they simply leave a follow up explaining my situation, and I would do the same to try and clear the air.
The email should do it. The form is very hard to find and ebay hides the url to most of their reporting pages. If they turn it down just submit it again.
posted on July 5, 2003 12:46:27 PM new
I once had a high bidder who had a heart attack and DIED. Really!
He had high feedback and no negs until a certain date...and then he stopped bidding and the negatives started mounting up.
After about 2 weeks of no response to my emails and watching the pattern above, I knew something was desperately wrong. Fortunately, he had a commercial web site, so I tried writing to the "generic" address on the site vs. his personal address to ask what was going on, and what had led me to write. My email was answered by his office manager, who confirmed that something terrible had happened.
The office manager had been unaware of the whole eBay fiasco until I had written. He made good on paying for my item (they were buying items on ebay for resale), and those of the other sellers (even the ones who had posted negs). Those were the days when you didn't have to have an associated item number to post feedback, so he posted Neutral feedbacks to the account of his deceased boss to explain what had happened and to ask sellers who were owed $$$ to contact him.
The office manager eventually closed out his boss's ID and started buying under his own ID and became a good customer.
So some of the folks with "tragedies" are real...you just have to look at the situation and see what's going on. I will usually let a person pay a little late if they make arrangements with me beforehand (I've had a client who had to postpone payment for an extra week due to unexpected vet bills, and another who only got paid once a month and asked before bidding if it was OK if they paid me on such-and-such a date. I try to give some leeway if people are up-front with me about their situation. Both paid when they promised to.)
If there are too many excuses...if the excuses conflict...or if the high bidder is not paying you on time and still actively bidding...then it is time to start the NPB process.
P.S. I wasn't selling on eBay yet when my parents died 11 months apart in the mid-90's, but I continued to pay my bills and manage my custom sewing business while going through *terrible* grief, administering probate on their estate with the courts, and having to fly 3,000 miles away every other month for close to a year to clean out their house and belongings. So "grandma died so I can't pay" just doesn't cut it with me, sorry!
posted on July 5, 2003 01:03:00 PM new
Well some people handle tragedies better than others...and even the best laid plans go astray...
I just have returned home from caring for my mother across country to find my house a mess, weeds waist high in the garden, several problems with shipping my postcards ( I left my 19 year old in charge of this task), received a letter today from the State of Indiana saying we owe them $500 for a speeding ticket that wasn't paid - it seems that my DH ( does that stand for "dear husband"?) got nabbed on his last biz trip and didn't tell me about it and is now somewhere in Australia, and last, but not least, the 30 day time limit is about up on the $ 250 postcard lot we never received ( DH purchased from a seller with a marijuana-user user-id and 0 feedback who is now NARU)...which fire do I put out first???
Naturally I am escaping to the Vendio board instead of dealing with any!
posted on July 5, 2003 05:14:38 PM new
My stuff isn't expensive and I am just SOOOO tempted to ask What their dead relative has to do with a $10 widget you bid on 5 weeks ago.
People abuse this excuse to no end.
People who send payment via paypal 3 days after the ending are already claiming "sorry for the late payment, my [Insert pet/relative] DIED.
I'm like so the F*** what..... its only 3 days and you are already handing out the dead loved one excuse..... its really getting pathetic at times.
For those who come back with the dead relative excuse after I file FVF credit I take the professional high road.
I tell them this...... And it works in most cases except for the TRUE LYING DEADBEATS
Dear[insert name],
If you can send payment by [insert date] which is 60 days from the ending date the Non paying bidder file on Ebay can be removed. After 60 days it will be impossible to remove according to Ebay's terms of service.
Also you may need to contact other sellers within the last 60 days as suspension only comes when 3 unique sellers claim non paying bidder status against you.
Total Due with shipping
My paypal ID
My mailing address
Thanks,
Cynthia
Any FVF fee claim can be reversed and the warning on their account is immediately removed. It can only be done within 60 days (to the HOUR) of an auction ending
This method not only makes me the helpful good guy it also recovers the lost revenue. It also removes the blaim off of me as the single person who got them suspended.
posted on July 6, 2003 09:08:14 PM new
the thing is that I relist pretty quickly. If it is a unique item I sold, then they are basically screwed because they won't have anything to pay for. Very seldom does someone send payment for an item that was already relisted. It has to go 17 days for me to relist. I figure that my auctions state 7 days, and if they can't get it to me with the 10 day extension, then they don't deserve to get the item. The law of diminishing returns show that the longer you wait for payment, the less likely you will get anything.
Sniping works up a thirst"