posted on August 3, 2001 03:18:58 PM new
I have several friends that have voice mail and it is frustrating because they never really answer their phone anymore. I admit I screen my calls but we will answer our phone if it is someone we know and we are not sitting at dinner or something. These people don't seem to screen at all they just check when the mood strikes to see what has come in. You might as well mail them a letter. This bothers me a little. Is it so stressful to just answer the thing? Or am I old fashioned? They seem to expect ME to answer when I am here but feel no obligation to reciprocate.
posted on August 3, 2001 04:59:43 PM new
We get sooooo many phone solicitors that I've pretty much given up actually answering the phone. On top of that I've been redecorating the house (painting, staining, flooring, etc.) and during normal waking hours am typically up on some ladder or something, so I don't answer then either. When friends & family called, they would just keep yelling into the machine "I KNOW you are there, STOP ignoring me"....So, in turn I changed the message on my machine to actually say "If I haven't picked up by now, I'm probably just ignoring you, leave a message, blah, blah, blah"......I'm sorry if I can't come to the phone, BUT I DO return messages, typically in the evening.
posted on August 3, 2001 05:33:18 PM new
For me it's just that I'm very much a loner. I don't seek out crowds, call folks much on the phone, etc. The phone often feels like an intrusion - sometimes even if it's someone I care for. I don't mean to be rude, but sometimes I turn off the ringer and the volume on the machine - which means I won't even know if someone is calling.
If what your friends are doing bugs you, you might just give some of it back. Don't answer occasionally and see how they react.
posted on August 3, 2001 05:34:23 PM new
My pet peeve on telephone manners is the absolute lack of them displayed by most callers these days. Everyone used to be taught that when you call someone, the first thing that you do is tell the person answering the telephone who you are -- identify yourself. These days, I get "Is so and so there?" or usually, "Who is this?"
To the last one, I've taken it upon myself to answer none too nicely, "You dialed this number -- don't you know who the hell you're calling? What's your problem anyway? Are you stupid?" and then I hang up.
posted on August 3, 2001 05:40:58 PM new
Borillar, the sad thing is I actually still do that, and people sometimes make fun of me. If for eg. I say, "Hi Joe, this is Sadie, may I speak to Jane?" Joe will respond "Yes, you may," but put an emphasis on the "may" in a way that lets me know he thinks I'm being too formal. Sometimes you just can't win.
posted on August 3, 2001 06:50:11 PM new
Ahhh, the phone! You know I hate talking on the phone SO much that when we moved I decided to try and live without one (by choice-- weird huh?). We've been here since Dec and I can't say that I miss it at all.
posted on August 3, 2001 07:01:11 PM newGravid: my sympathies are with those who check voice mail when it suits them.
While I use & enjoy all the new electronic gizmos & communication devices available now, I am not surgically attached to them. I simply don't understand the current fixation to be in constant contact with everyone and everything--to the point where people stand in grocery lines talking on the phone, or take calls in a movie theatre, or drive down the street with a phone jammed against the ear. It's weird.
posted on August 3, 2001 07:23:58 PM new
Bunnicula, I agree. Simply because the technology is there doesn't mean I want to take phone messages while driving, gardening, or browsing through the bookstore. I'll answer at home if I'm not eating, doing something I enjoy, or so far from the phone that I have to run. If I'm expecting an urgent call, I'll make an effort to get to the phone.
posted on August 3, 2001 07:57:57 PM new
I can understand your point gravid, but I think anymore, time is so valuable to many people that they just don't have time to chat for long. Some people spend their days on the phone and want to get away from it after work, etc. I wouldn't take it personally, but you just might have more free time than they do at the time you call. I know what you mean though....it's almost too bad, but maybe it gives us time to find out how we're doing instead of everyone else.
posted on August 3, 2001 09:29:31 PM new
I love my voice mail. Many times the little ones will keep me up most of the nite and with voice mail I can sleep in and not worry who it is. I have voice mail at both businesses and here at home. It is well worth the money - I can access it anywhere I want and I do not have to hear that horrible screeching sound of the answering machine!
I do answer my messages, though. AND I do check voice mail as it is ringing. If it is someone important - or someone I love I immediately pick up.
posted on August 3, 2001 11:02:32 PM new
"This bothers me a little. Is it so stressful to just answer the thing?"
Yes -
When we are all home together for dinner or whatever - the phone as well as tv etc. are shut off.
We live in such fast times and so many ways to communicate, letters, e-mail, tele messages etc. It is much easier to organize your time so precious 'family' time is not spent answering phone calls etc.
When kids are in bed - calls, e-mails and letters can be returned. In this way - the family - gets precious together time and our friends and extended family get our undivided attention when we talk to them.
posted on August 4, 2001 05:12:18 AM new
I guess what is frustrating is I will call to ask someone if they want to go to breakfast with me in the morning or to an auction tomarrow and nobody is answering.
There is very rarely something like a doctor appointment so set in stone I can't go have lunch with a friend or grap an opportunity to buy good junk. Half the time if you make an appointment to do something a week from now like seems to be what they expect -they won't show up or will cancel out.
The strange thing is the people who are first to accept an invitation, and appreciate it, are the busiest who are flying all over the country all week and have actual businesses. The people who have 12 sports to taxi their children to are the ones who can't do anything for their own enjoyment. I would smother the little monsters if I could not have a life also.
posted on August 4, 2001 05:58:37 AM new
We switched to using Voice Mail instead of an answering machine because with 6 people living here, the phone is in use a great deal. The answering machine only works if no one is on the phone.
Look at the flip side of this topic...what bugs me are the people who are "afraid" to leave a message if they get the voice mail. Yes, sometimes we screen our calls. When we're eating, or if watching a movie, or otherwise occupied. I'm in my home, and the idea that I MUST answer the phone each time it rings is hogwash. I know people who "look down" on those of us who either are stay at home parents, or those who work from home. It is assumed that because we are home, we having nothing better to do than run to the phone on the first ring. Phones, like computers, are tools, not masters. They work for us, not the other way around.
Sometimes people will call, and if no one answers, they will hang up, and call again, and again, and again, never once leaving a message. We also have Call Waiting. When someone keeps calling over and over while you are on a call, the Call Waiting tone will beep twice, and then beep twice, each time they continue to call.
Use the Voice Mail! We pay for it for a reason! We will call you back!
I also don't give my cell phone number out to everyone. I carry it for emergencies, and so my kids or hubby can reach me if they need to. I don't carry it to look cool or because I'm afraid I'll miss something. Bunnicula said it best, it's weird.
posted on August 4, 2001 06:15:07 AM new
My pet peave is telemarketers that come up "not available" on the caller id. I'd love to be able to "block" the calls from them, but if you can't see the number, you can't do it.
posted on August 4, 2001 06:19:04 AM new
My experience is if the caller id says "unavailable" or "out of area" it is 99% certain to be a telemarketer. I've also noticed if I don't answer that call, in all likelyhood the phone will ring again within the hour.
I'm thinking of changing my voice mail message to include something about "If you're selling something, please place our name on your Do Not Call List" or something to that end. I'm not sure if it would help, but I might try it anyway.
posted on August 4, 2001 11:04:38 AM new
First, Hello to Meya. I haven't noticed you post recently but I may just be missing those threads!
As for Caller ID, I subsribed when it was first avaialble so that I could avoid answering calls that didn't interest me, particularly telemarketing calls. I was told by Ameritech that businesses were not allowed to make "Anonymous" calls. I soon found out that almost every "Out-of-Area" or "Anon" call was a telemarketer.
I called to cancel my service, and told them why, but no-one cares! They still insisted that businesses could not do that!
posted on August 4, 2001 02:51:20 PM new
The only problem with caller ID is that Doctors and Hospitals will use anonymous for confidentiality purposes and you might miss an important reminder for appointment or test results etc. So on our answering machine we specify if you are on anonymous mode leave your phone # and we will return your call. Individuals with unlisted #'s can dial a two digit prefix to allow their # to show on my caller I.D. So I know who is there and will pick up.
posted on August 4, 2001 02:52:15 PM new
Middle age...When you are sitting at home on Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn't for you.
posted on August 4, 2001 10:04:14 PM new
A rememdy for the telemarketers who call at dinnertime, suggested long ago, is to ask the caller for his home number so we can call him back during HIS dinner hour.
Everytime we get a telemarketing call, we ask the caller to put us on their "do not call" list. Remarkably, such calls have now become rare in our house.
JUST KIDDING!!!!
