posted on September 5, 2001 08:59:50 AM newParody/Parity/Party take your pick!
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Celebrity Cruise
We at Carnival Cruise Lines didn't forget that a lot of entertainers had promised to leave the country if George W. Bush became President. With that in mind, we have a Special Offer for those who want to keep their promise!
Attention: Would Alec Baldwin, Rosie O'Donnell, Cher, Phil Donahue, David Geffin, Barbara Streisand, Pierre Salinger, and anyone else who made that promise, please report to Florida for the sailing of the Funship Cruise, "Elation", which has been commissioned to take you to your new homes outside of the USA.
The Florida Supreme Court will sponsor a Farewell Parade in your honor through Palm Beach, Broward, and Miami-Dade counties prior to your cruise.
Please pack for an extended stay...at least four years and you should consider the possibility of eight years. Your captain is to be Bill Clinton and your cruise director will be Al Gore. Monica Lewinsky will be your recreation director. Ted Kennedy will act as lifeguard and supervise swimming instruction. Mr. Kennedy will also be teaching a course in emergency procedures. Your spiritual advisor and marriage counselor will be the Rev. Jesse Jackson.
If you've any questions about making arrangements for your homes, friends and loved ones, please direct your comments to Senator Hillary Clinton. Her village can raise your children while you're gone, and she can watch over all your money and your furnishings until you return.
Bon Voyage!
posted on September 5, 2001 09:16:53 AM new zilvy. Yeah, I wonder why they havent left the country yet, now that you reminded me of what they said when Bush did indeed become the prez.
posted on September 5, 2001 01:37:41 PM new
I'm giving this one double exposure...Tex1 printed this in another thread but it is bush bashing and I figured the 3 or 4 Republicans wouldn't get to see it!!
Memories of Bill
After much arguing and deliberation, historians this week have come
up with a phrase to describe the Clinton era. It will be called: SEX BETWEEN THE BUSHES
The Center for Disease Control in Atlanta announced that Clinton has proven that you CAN get sex from Aides.
Jennifer Flowers was asked if her relationship with Clinton was
anything like Monica Lewinski's. She replied, "Close, but no cigar."
The FBI has coined a technical term for the stains found on Monica's dress "Presidue."
Clinton now recruits interns from only four colleges: Moorhead, Oral Roberts, Ball State, and Bringham Young.
Did you know that Clinton had asked to change the Democratic seal from a
donkey to a condom. It represents inflation, halts production, and
gives you a false sense of security while you are being screwed.
Washington has come up with a solution for the Clinton situation -
they added an 11th commandment: "Thou shall not put thy rod in thy staff."
Arkansas is very proud of Bill Clinton. All these women coming forward, and not one is his sister!
Finally, Hillary Clinton recently went to a fortune teller who intoned, "Prepare to become a widow. Your husband will soon suffer a > violent death!"
Hillary took a deep breath and asked, "Will I be acquitted?"
posted on September 5, 2001 02:20:02 PM newArkansas is very proud of Bill Clinton. Oh....but I beg to differ.
The 'Welcome To Arkansas' signs here (when you come over the boarder) each had another small sign hanging underneath them that said 'Home of Bill Clinton'. They were full of gun shot holes or spray painted over.
zilvy. Yeah, I wonder why they havent left the country yet, now that you reminded me of what they said when Bush did indeed become the prez.
to both zilvy and hepburns!!