posted on July 6, 2003 07:45:21 AM new
LoL at the astonishedhead parody, one of the funnier bits that I've seen lately, and it presents an irrestibile lead-in to Dowd's perceptive piece below from today's NYT.
I've been enormously busy and that will likely continue for some time so I can't stay and chat...just a quick hello.
Ritalin for America
By MAUREEN DOWD
WASHINGTON
My mind was wandering the other day when I saw a TV ad that said I should see a mental health professional if my mind was wandering.
The ad said I might have Adult Attention Deficit Disorder. I did have a friend who got a diagnosis of A.A.D.D. His wife had complained he wasn't paying enough attention to her and sent him to a doctor, who prescribed Ritalin for spousal attention deficit disorder. My friend lost weight, became more focused on his work and left his complaining wife.
The law of unintended side effects.
Ritalin abuse is rampant with children, as well as teenagers and college students, who like the extra stamina to study for exams, lose weight, ramp up performance to get in an Ivy League college or stay awake while getting drunk. When I grew up, there was no Ritalin; just a big nun with a ruler, warning you not to be "dreamy" or "a bold, brazen piece."
If you think about it, a lot of characters in literature probably had A.A.D.D. If Biff had been on Ritalin, he could have passed those math tests, and Willy Loman would not have got into the despondence that led to his fatal car crash. This gives new meaning to the maternal admonition, "Attention must be paid."
And what about Wile E. Coyote? That is one distracted doggie.
I went online to take "Dr. Grohol's Psych Central Adult A.D.D. Quiz." The questionnaire asked if "My moods have high and lows." Well, yes.
It asked if "I am distressed by the disorganized way my brain works." You bet.
Reading over the questions, I realized America has A.A.D.D. The country has always had a pinball attention span, even before the Internet and cable TV accelerated it.
The New Republic recently dubbed this "historical attention deficit disorder," when a country gets distracted from focusing on any one place for very long. Our scattered consciousness is the reason we're so bad at empire, too impatient to hang around hot climes trying to force cold natives to like us.
Let's apply the A.A.D.D. quiz to our fidgety president and his foreign policy team:
"I find my mind wandering from tasks that are uninteresting or difficult." (Like nation building, which we said we'd never do but are muddling through now, with no coherent strategy, in Iraq, Afghanistan and the Middle East, and soon in Liberia.)
"I say things without thinking and later regret having said them." (Such as declaring we have "prevailed" in Iraq two months before the commander there admits, "We're still at war." Or bubbling about the statue of Saddam falling and then months later posting a $25 million bounty on the real Saddam's head. Or saying Saddam had W.M.D.'s that posed an imminent threat to us and then failing to find a single warhead. Or saying we'd already found the weapons when all we'd found was some trashed trailer. Or saying we'd get Osama "dead or alive" and Al Qaeda was "on the run."
"I make quick decisions without thinking enough about their possible bad results." (Such as how our troops will be targets in hostile, dangerous territory, stuck there for years sorting out tribal and sectarian warfare.)
"I have a quick temper, a short fuse." (Like the president, taunting the Iraqi militants, saying, "Bring 'em on." Shouldn't that sort of trash talking be reserved for football and Schwarzenegger sequels?
"I have trouble planning in what order to do a series of tasks or activities." (Such as threatening to rumble with North Korea and Iran while we're still prone to stumble in Afghanistan and Iraq.)
"In group activities it is hard for me to wait my turn." (Why wait for the pansy allies, even if you'll need their help after?)
"I usually work on more than one project at a time, and fail to finish many of them." (Yes. Al Qaeda is recrudescing. In Afghanistan, the Taliban is coming back, warlords rule and the vice and virtue police are at it again. Iran and North Korea are defying us. Saddam is still lurking, even as we struggle in Iraq to get the lights on, the oil industry up and the violence down. We say everything is O.K. while the senators who went to Iraq last week say we're stretched thin in the face of more and more attacks by Saddam loyalists.
Yep. These guys definitely have E.A.D.D. — Empire Attention Deficit Disorder.
posted on July 6, 2003 04:17:44 PM new
What? Junquemama. We missed Antiquary?
Maureen Dowd is right. After celebrating victory just a few weeks ago, we learn yesterday that we're still at war!
From Cnn...
"Our nation is still at war," Bush said. "The enemies of America plot against us. And many of our fellow citizens are still serving and sacrificing and facing danger in distant places."
