posted on October 19, 2003 07:26:09 PM new
You have to believe the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of funding.
You have to believe that the same public school teacher who can't teach 4th graders how to read, is qualified to teach those same kids about sex.
You have to believe that trial lawyers are selfless heroes and doctors are overpaid.
You have to believe that guns in the hands of law-abiding Americans are more of a threat than nuclear weapons in the hands of Chinese communists.
You have to believe that global temperatures are less affected by cyclical, documented changes in the brilliance of the sun, and more affected by yuppies driving SUVs.
You have to believe that gender roles are artificial but being gay is natural.
You have to believe that businesses create oppression and governments create prosperity.
You have to believe that hunters don't care about nature, but pasty, revisionist activists who've never been outside Seattle do.
You have to believe that self esteem is more important than actually doing something to earn it.
You have to believe there was no art before federal funding.
You have to believe there was no housing before HUD.
You have to believe the military, not corrupt politicians, start wars.
You have to believe the free market that gives us 500+ channels, can't deliver the quality that PBS does.
You have to believe that without a federal Department of Energy, there would be no gasoline or electricity.
You have to believe the NRA is bad, because they stand up for all of the Constitution, while the ACLU is good, because they stand up for a few parts of the Constitution.
You have to believe that taxes are too low but ATM fees are too high.
You have to believe that Harriet Tubman, Cesar Chavez, and Gloria Steinem are more important to American history than George Washington, General Robert E. Lee or Thomas A. Edison.
You have to believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial quotas and set-asides aren't.
You have to believe second-hand smoke is more dangerous than anthrax or sarin gas.
You have to believe Rosie O'Donnell is brilliant.
You have to believe that the only reason socialism hasn't worked anywhere it's been tried is because the right people haven't been in charge.
"Another plague upon the land, as devastating as the locusts God loosed on the Egyptians, is "Political Correctness.'" --Charlton Heston
posted on October 19, 2003 07:30:17 PM new
I order to be a republican you must believe
1. You have to believe the AIDS virus is God's punishment against homosexuals.
2. You have to believe that all teachers are evil, overpaid unionists, and that taxes
shouldn't pay for schools - they should pay for Vouchers!
3. You have to believe that a spaced-based weapons technology - a program that guts the
1973 World Space Treaty, has failed miserably in every single initial test since Y2K,
and
has absolutely no chance of stopping any likely form of terrorism worldwide - is worth
an
eventual $1 trillion in "research funding" to Lockheed Martin and its many patriotic
executives, executive board, stockholders, political lobbyists and
senator-cum-"consultant".
4. You have to believe that all programs intended to help the nation as a whole (and
not
the rich as a segment) are only evil "entitlements."
5. You have to be able to look at the 405 freeway, 10 lanes across and 77 miles long,
bumper to bumper with idling engines spewing smoke from automobiles going nowhere, you
must see that and still somehow believe that the works of men have no effect on the
earth's climates - despite overwhelming evidence to the contrary from learned
scientists
whose studies aren't funded by General Motors or Northrop.
6. You have to believe that a woman's place is in the home - unless she's single and
black, in which case she'd better get her ass to work.
7. You have to believe that a 19 year old girl who terminates her 6-week fetus with a
coat
hangar is committing murder, but that sending someone else's son to die in a war for
oil
is somehow "patriotic."
8. You have to believe that when (through WTO loan guarantees) you forcibly remove
thousands of Sri Lankin women from their farms, make them live in paper shacks and
drink
diseased water, and pay them twenty five cents an hour with zero benefits; you must
believe that you're doing them a favor by giving them "gainful employment."
9. You have to believe that owning a semi automatic machine gun and a 44 caliber
pistol is
your god-given right as a "hunter." And you think that Charleton Heston was drugged
before his interview in "Bowling for Columbine."
10. You have to believe that self-esteem can be based only on wealth - regardless of
how
that wealth was earned. More importantly, you must believe that using terms like
"education," "compassion," and "kindness" in conversation and speeches are only useful
lies told to useful fools.
11. You have to believe that the Constitution gives every American the right to keep
and
bear nuclear arms if they choose to - but the rest of the Constitution is badly
outdated and in need of revision.
12. You have to believe that spending more than all other countries of the world
combined
on war is the absolute minimum required to protect our freedom. You must believe that
the
sale of your personal information to any and all vendors is just one of the beautiful
miracles of modern technology. Most of all, you have to believe that when Homeland
Security forces take your neighbor away in the middle of the night as a "domestic
terroist" - thence to spend the rest of his short life in prison without a lawyer and
with
no outside contact - you must believe that it's just the Republicans getting the
government off your back.
13. You have to believe that every black kid in America had the same educational
opportunities as every white kid in America.
14. You have to believe that any federal program to help the poor is "socialism" - but
that corporate welfare is "pro-business."
15. You have to believe vast, satellite-documented caches of weapons of mass
destruction
wer the reason we went to war with Iraq. And that those WMDs may yet be found. Any
day
now. Oh, and you must believe that lying about a blow job hurt more Americans than did
Enron, Anderson, Archer Daniels, Halliburton, Carlyle, Duke Energy, Unocal, and the
hundreds of savings and loans institutions that failed following banking
"deregulation."
16. You have to believe that homosexuals should be killed or at least diseased because,
well, because they're not like you. And you must never believe that GW Bush, John
Ashcroft, Dick Cheney, Tom Delay or Paul Wolfowitz ever dodged the draft. Even if they
did.
17. You have to believe that "legal" corporate funding to the Republican Party - which
outweighs donations to Democrats by 3:1 - you must believe that those corporations are
asking for nothing in return.
posted on October 20, 2003 04:41:16 AM new
I find that the previous poster using God's name in vain, to be absolutely offensive.
Flame away, I could care less!
posted on October 20, 2003 06:28:33 AM new
miscreant it is people like you and helen that make the need to own firearms a real neccessity.
Bear forgot one:
In order to be a liberal you must be willing to give up many freedoms in order for the government to "take care" of you from cradle to the grave...
AIN'T LIFE GRAND...
posted on October 20, 2003 08:10:20 AM new
I didn't realize I could own Nuclear weapons. Where do we get them. They would be great for small game hunting.
"11. You have to believe that the Constitution gives every American the right to keep and bear goddam nuclear arms if they choose to - but the rest of the Constitution is badly outdated and in need of revision."
posted on October 20, 2003 08:21:13 AM newmiscreant it is people like you and helen that make the need to own firearms a real neccessity
Nah, just your paranoia. I forgot one too.
In order to be a conservitive you must be willing to give up many freedoms in order for the government to "protect" your freedoms from cradle to the grave.
liveinjeans
Which God of yours did I offend? GW Bush, John Ashcroft, Dick Cheney, Tom Delay or Paul Wolfowitz?
posted on October 20, 2003 08:44:52 AM newnah I prefer Sean Hannity
Another conservitive hawk who managed to duck service to country. Ever wonder why all of your heros duck service?
posted on October 20, 2003 09:12:15 AM newRepublican Party's poster child, Sean Hannity.
Pure jealousy on the part of dems. They tried to get Donahue back on to spout their leftist views, they tried the clinton/dole debates....just no interest. They tried for a while to find *anyone* who could match the popularity of the radio/TV commentators for the right. Couldn't find anyone.
Many moderate and right winged Americans are glad to have a couple of radio/TV commentators who are SO successful. Understandably the left feels threatened by them because they no longer have total control of what American's can listen to or be told.
posted on October 20, 2003 10:10:43 AM newThose programs are low-rated.
You'd be incorrect in that statement. Drudge shows the ratings of the TV shows on his home page, most days. Proof is right there. Fox News is #1 in cable viewing.
And if you've read lately even the decision makers at ABC are suggesting their commentators TRY to give more of BOTH sides when reporting on issues....rather than just the leftist view alone. They feel accusations that they're slanted too far left is the cause of their loosing viewers/readers on their news.
The old 'standard' tv stations are losing their viewership...BIG time.
posted on October 20, 2003 10:27:08 AM new
FoxNews certainly doesn't "show both sides." Last year I had two months of it, practically 24/7m and learned that first hand. After my accident I had to stay at a friend's house, and she has FoxNews on constantly. From the time they get up in the morning, to the time they go to bed, she & her husband have the TV set on & turned to FoxNews. Before that, I really hadn't been all that aware of FoxNews & had never watched it. It was a real eye-opener, I can tell you.
Wow! Talk about one-sided reporting. And the scary thing is that my friend will quote them verbatim on any and all issues--it's like she no longer has a mind of her own. She even believes O'Reilly is actually "fair & balanced" as he claims, and supports his right to abuse guests, yell at them to shut up, and throw them off his show if they dare to uphold their own viewpoint. Says that it's his show, after all, and how dare they espouse their views--even though O'Reilly invites them on to "discuss" their viewpoints in the first place...
I often turn in the various conservative talk shows as I'm driving, to see what they're up to, and I find the same thing. Ranting, frothing, hate-filled. You'll never hear so much name-calling and plain down-right meanness than on conservative talk shows. Censorship, like charity, should begin at home; but unlike charity, it should end there --Clare Booth Luce
posted on October 20, 2003 10:27:54 AM new
Yes, I understand why you far far lefties hate Drudge too. [along with any media that doesn't support your views] just because he's the one who first shed light on clintons little 'deposit' on Monica's dress. Truth being reported always earns one the hatred of the left. I understand. hahaha
posted on October 20, 2003 10:43:49 AM newYes, I understand why you far far lefties hate Drudge too.
Oh, I don't hate Drudge and find it hilarious that the righties consider him a fine example of news reporting.
[ edited by miscreant on Oct 20, 2003 10:47 AM ]
posted on October 20, 2003 10:56:08 AM new
The Republican attitude toward sex is a bit weird.
They spend millions & create a media circus over sex between consenting adults--and make what should have been a matter between Clinton & his wife a nightly soap opera. Then they had the nerve to claim that Clinton had made the country a laughingstock when in actuality the world was laughing at the Republicans for making it such a 3-ring circus of it in the first place.
On the other hand, IIRC, there were 1 or 2 Republican political figures who had affairs during the same time period, yet those affairs were ignored by the Republicans, who made no move to erect another big top for their own "bad boys."
Censorship, like charity, should begin at home; but unlike charity, it should end there --Clare Booth Luce
