posted on June 13, 2004 07:59:13 PM new
San Francisco Mayor Gavin Newsom , at the center of a heated national debate over the issue of same-sex marriage may have let the cat out of the bag, now people are coming foward wanting to marry their dog, cat, goat and one guy his tree.
A handful of demonstrators mocked the event, carrying signs that said, "Polygamy Now" and "Freedom to Marry Dogs." One bearded man, who would only identify himself as "Mr. Tree," stood on the sidewalk with a bare-root pear tree and said, "I like this tree and I'd like to tie the knot."
Things to wonder about:
Isn't he going out on a limb?
What sex is that tree?
It doesn't matter! Just leaf them alone!
Looks like a virgin pine!
I wonder if the Pet Psychic from Animal Planet could act on behalf of my dog?
He's probably looking to branch out.
I heard him bark.
What a sap.
This guy is a disgusting pedophile. That tree can't be more than a year old.
I think it's older than it appears. I actually read that it came from an old oaks home.
What if his tree finds a more fruitful relationship and leaves?
That tree is obviously young, I heard that he found it in a nursery.
Hey, try not to bark, or you'll look like an ash.
I hear you can tell a dogwood by its bark.
At least he would tree't her well.
But is it virgin growth?
He'd use a condom. Knotty, knotty!
What if his tree finds a more fruitful relationship and leaves?
Where there is true love, so too will be your roots.
Assuming he didn't branch out into other deviancies, they might set down strong roots together. But, he might fall for some passing orchid.
Just leaf then alone to live their lives in quiet dignity. They know their marriage will never be fruitful.
Not another older man picking up a "trophy" tree. Why can't he find one his own age!
How OLD is that tree? It looks pretty young to me. Men should not be fooling around with saplings; that sort of thing is unnatural.
One could do worse than be a swinger of birches.
Don't worry, the tree already has the rings.
Just because you're sporting wood, you do NOT have to marry a tree!
Watch out for the "Woodpeckers?
A pear tree? That pervert! A sour cherry is the only natural choice.
posted on June 13, 2004 08:09:17 PM new
Does any body know what twelve looks like?
True Americans do not exclude anybody. They recognize that everyone should have the same rights. Bigotry, intolerance and hatred are cancers of the mind.
